


Starcrossed

by huntersandangels



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dubious Consent, Harlequin, M/M, Slight description of Violence, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 22:54:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 48,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huntersandangels/pseuds/huntersandangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1689 in the middle of the civil war...</p><p>Last time Lord Toews crossed the border was to be betrothed to Lord Kane. The engagement never happened because of the outbreak of the civil war. Now he was returning as an enemy... to conquer the castle and capture its Lord.<br/>He struggles between the dedication to his duty and his feelings for Lord Patrick. He wishes for more than the control of the castle. He is determined to win Patrick's heart back.<br/>Patrick though, has a secret that he must keep hidden from him at all costs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> based on a cheesy romance novel I read recently (don't judge!), historicaly inaccurate filled with sappy cliches.  
> I'm not sure about this, it's just a mere thought at this point, nothing I've ever done before. Not being a native English speaker doesn't help the process. I'll probably need a beta if I continue this. If anyone is willing I'll be grateful.

**Across the border**

**Summer 1685**

It was midsummer and the village was decorated to celebrate the engagement of Count Kane and Toews’ sons. The union of the two dynasties came to no surprise to anyone, the two houses were powerful and well respected and the union would only solidify their excellence in both sides of the borders.

 

In a room in the west wing of the castle Patrick Kane was getting ready for dinner.

“Do you like Lord Toews?” asked Tyler, Patrick’s squire, as he helped Patrick wear his shirt. “He seems cold and harsh to me”

“Just like his father”, commended Andrew, Patrick’s cousin from across the border, “they don’t call him the Iron Count for nothing”

 

Patrick laughed “Count Toews is the kindest man in the world. As for Lord Toews…” he paused. Truth was he didn’t really know Jonathan Toews, though their fathers had fought side by side in many wars through the years. Jonathan, even if he was just Patrick’s age, had started earning graces earlier that year for his valour and determination in the battle fields. Tyler had a point however; Jonathan did seem to have something pungent in his attitude, as if the things he’d seen had forced him to grow up before his time.

 

He didn’t have a chance to talk with him yet. He had taken a glimpse of him one afternoon as Jonathan was returning from a hunt. Patrick had peeked through his window as he heard the horses approach. He had begun to withdraw as Jonathan had looked up and right at him. That had made him still. Jonathan had taken his hat off and bowed with a half grin on his face. It had made something in Patrick flutter.

 

“Oh, look at Patrick’s expression!” Tyler cooed. “You _do_ like him then, don’t you?” Andrew laughed.

“Stop it Tyler!” Patrick said, “I’m marrying Jonathan because it’s my father’s will!”

Tyler smirked “that doesn’t mean you can’t benefit from it” he winked “…in bed”

 

Patrick looked up his cheeks flushed and that fluttering feeling in his stomach rose again.

“I was thinking…” Tyler continued “I don’t know if you had…the talk but I can share my tavern experiences with you if you want!”

Patrick sighed “Do I have to be objected into that kind of torture Tyler? Something tells me that it’ll be more information than either I or Andrew can handle”

Andrew giggled “The cook always says that if you just stay still and let them do as they wish you’ll be a very satisfying spouse”

Patrick scrunched his nose “That doesn’t sound satisfactory at all to me”

Tyler scolded “You know nothing! Brownie taught me things! We engaged in our passion five times the last time I was out!”

Andrew gasped “Five times? That’s impossible!”

“He must be a very passionate man! That or you have no inhibitions Tyler!” Patrick said smiling “I don’t know if I need to congratulate you or feel sorry for you! Did you even get any sleep?”

“Mock all you want!” Tyler growled “ _I_ had an amazing experience and _I_ know what to do! Even if I’m younger than you! Don’t come complaining to me when Lord Toews leaves your bed unsatisfied!”

Patrick laughed “I promise not to complain. I swear!” he said “now leave me be”

 

Tyler and Andrew left grunting.

 

*

 

 

Patrick sat beside his window sighing. He wasn’t really concerned with the lack of his sexual experiences. All Patrick wanted to do was step into the training arena and not be made fun of for being small and delicate. What he wished for was to be able to get to the fields and fight like all other young men his age did. He wanted to be a warrior and show his battle scars. To be able to say he has earned his place and the respect of others.

But alas! He was the only son Count Kane had. Getting killed in a battlefield was out of the question. He had to live to protect his younger sisters and the castle now that his father no longer could.

 

Patrick tried not to cry thinking of his father’s health condition. When his mother died was so unexpected he didn’t have the chance to dwell on it, just feel her absence. But seeing his father getting worse day after day has taken a toll on Patrick as well.

 

Suddenly his room felt small, with no air. He thought taking a walk in the gardens might help.

And it did. Torches lit his way to the garden and the air smelled of flowers. The noises faded as he went further down the path. It was peaceful.

 

“Lord Kane”

Patrick jumped startled. He hadn’t seen the man who stood in the shadow of the tree.

“I apologize” Jonathan Toews said, “I didn’t mean to frighten you. Your father is looking for you Lord Patrick. We are ready for the feast”

 

Patrick shook his head, his heart was beating faster in his chest, not only because he was startled but because it was the first time he and Jonathan were alone together.

“Of course” he replied “If you’ll excuse me Lord Toews I’ll be on my way”

Jonathan didn’t move from where he was standing. He reached his hand and gently held Patrick’s arm “Just a minute, Lord Patrick” he said softly. Patrick turned to look at him.

Jonathan lowered his hand and entwined their fingers. His palm was warm and a bit rough and sent shivers through Patrick’s spine. “I have your father’s permission to marry you, but I still haven’t gotten yours”.

Patrick looked at him surprised “You don’t need my permission, my Lord”

Jonathan smiled “I need it. I don’t wish to marry you if you are unwilling yourself. One word from you and we will cancel the whole thing.”

As he waited for his reply he squished his hand. Patrick took in the serious and slightly hard expression on his face and he got a little scared.

“I will do my duty…” he begun

“I don’t want you to do your duty” Jonathan cut him off, his tone sharp “I want _you_ ”. He sighed and continued in a softer tone “I was just wondering if… that maybe… you felt the same for me…”

 

Patrick remembered the day he saw him returning from the hunt. Then he remembered Tyler’s words and his secret wish to experience that with Jonathan.

“Well…”

He didn’t get a chance to continue, as Jonathan ducked and kissed him. His grip was tight around Patrick’s waist, his mouth hungry as he devoured Pat’s. Patrick’s gasp was muffled by the demanding kiss. Jonathan led him to the tree without breaking the kiss. He cornered him there and as soon as Patrick’s back hit the bole Jonathan tangled his hands in Patrick’s hair and their kiss deepened. It made Patrick’s legs shake.

A moment or an eon later, Patrick couldn’t tell, Jonathan broke the kiss and looked at him with eyes dark with lust. Patrick had done that to him! The thought was satisfying.  He then raised his trembling hands and touched his lips wondering what he looked like himself.

“Is that a yes?” Jonathan asked his voice ragged.

“I’m thinking about it” Patrick said coyly. “It’s true you have a pleasant sight…”

Jonathan smiled “And?”

“And… I really enjoyed… emm… our moments together…”

“And?”

“And you do kiss really well my Lord even if I don’t have a measuring reference.”

 

Jonathan took a step closer but Patrick hopped back and started running down the path giggling. He was having fun teasing Jonathan like that. It felt a bit like a game he had power on.

“So, after considering your proposal…” he stopped and looked at Jonathan.

Jonathan grabbed him from his wrist and held him flat across his chest.

“Yes?” he asked again his tone teasing now

“I will marry you” Patrick whispered as he went on his tip-toes to kiss Jonathan again.  


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no hockey player was harmed while this chapter was being written, this is pure fiction.

**The other side of the border**

**January 1689**

 

The snow was falling all day covering Lord Toews’ castle and the barracks that surrounded it like a white blanket. The clock that has just struck midnight found the soldiers struggling to get some warmth in the stables and the barns of the village, few last moments of comfort before they head to battle the next morning. They drank their beer, whispering, trying not to think about the dawn and what awaited them.

 

When someone knocked on his door, Jonathan Toews thought he had imagined the sound at first. He had a battle council with his trusted captains, they had decided on their strategy and they had withdrawn to try and get as much sleep as they could. They had direct orders not to bother him that night.

 

The knock was heard again, more insistent this time, worrying Jonathan. His authority was such that he knew it had to be an emergency for someone to defy his orders. He walked over and opened the door. The candle flickered and the air smelled of frost.

“What is wrong?” He knew his tone was harsh. Even him, well-known as he was for being calm and collected, he always felt jitterish the eve of a battle.

It was Saad, the younger of his soldiers, a boy barely of age. He looked terrified.

“I beg your pardon, my Lord. A messenger came from across the border.”

Jonathan turned his back on him. He should have thought that the Royalist garrison that guarded Count Kane’s castle would try to negotiate at the last minute, asking them to surrender to avoid the bloodbath. He was waiting all day for them to ask for a truce and now here they were. Jonathan had lost even the last ounce of respect he held for King Sharp when he appointed Gagner guardian of Count Kane’s castle. Gagner’s cowardness was well known, and here he was now begging for his worthless life.

 

Two weeks earlier, Gagner had killed Jonathan’s brother Brandon, who had gone to the castle waving the white flag of a truce on behalf of the Parliamentarians. Gagner had send Brandon back in pieces, showing no mercy, but he now expected Jonathan to have mercy on his useless existence. Jonathan felt his rage surface again, the one that he tried to hide as he held his dead brother’s body.

 

It had never made a difference to Jonathan that Brandon was not his blood brother. His mother was pregnant with him when his father’s men had found baby Brandon in the woods just inside the borders, hungry, filthy and sick. He grew up thinking of him just as that, his brother, as much of a brother to him as David was.

 

A fortnight wasn’t enough to subdue his grief for his brother’s loss or the thankless task he shouldered to inform his father of the death. Count Toews and young Lord David were supporting the King while he and Brandon were loyal in the fight in favour of the Parliament. And now Jonathan had written to his father informing him that one of his sons had died fighting for a cause contrary to his own beliefs.

 

Jonathan knew that their defection had broken their father’s heart. He respected his father despite their political differences. And he was now feeling guilty for not being able to save Brandon. The one thing he could do was gather his rage and his hate for Gagner and show no mercy to the troops gathered in Count Kane’s castle. Not now, not ever. It didn’t matter that once he was to become the rightful owner of that castle, it didn’t matter that he was promised Lord Patrick’s hand. It didn’t matter that his heart still beat as fast at the memories. The civil war had rendered that union impossible.

 

Saad waited.

“I will not accept their messenger” Jonathan said “I have nothing to discuss. The time for negotiations has long passed. Tomorrow morning we will attack and there is nothing they can do to prevent that” his voice icier than the dead cold outside.

Saad continued to stand there and stare at him in agony “My Lord…”

“What!” Jonathan yelled

“Lord Kane is waiting to talk to you, my lord” Saad stammered “We thought…well… knowing that you and the lord…”

 

Jonathan cursed through his teeth. It was a very clever move Gagner made, sending Patrick, he thought, knowing that he was the only messenger Jonathan would have qualms harming. They may be in rival camps but it went against everything he was and everything he felt to mistreat Patrick, royalist or not. Four years ago, long before the civil war, memories were made and promises were given, and Jonathan had a hard time ignoring them, even now.

 

But they were at war; there was no space for sentiments. His brother was brutally murdered and Gagner had a hand in that.

“I will not see him”, he said. “Tell him to leave”

Saad looked at him with despair. “But, sir…”

“I said _tell him to leave_!”

 

Clang of arms and voices were heard from the other side of the door, followed by approaching footsteps.

“My lord!” one of the guards yelled in fear “you can’t enter!”

It was too late though. The door banged hard against the wall as Lord Patrick passed by Saad and stormed in. He dumped his clock in front of Jonathan. His face was pale and his blond curls were tousled in his forehead. He looked like a mythical creature, built from ice and fire.

 

Jonathan felt his heart skip a beat and all the air to escape his lungs. He hadn’t seen Patrick for four years. They only had two days together before the engagement was broken. He remembered a sweet young boy with a sunlit smile, short and slender. He was now faced with a not as much taller but definitely bulker Patrick, a fierce, wild expression in his face.

 No one has made an effort to stop him. He knew. He knew his soldiers and he was certain they could have prevented him from entering, but it was something in the way Patrick was conducting himself, an imperious pride that could made others yield at his will. Jonathan almost smiled. If they weren’t enemies he would have loved to fight alongside him. If they weren’t enemies he would have been proud of the man Patrick had become.

“My Lord” he said taking a bow “I am awfully sorry that my guards let you enter. It was foolish of you to come here tonight”

Patrick gave him an inquisitive look that made Jonathan uncomfortable. He stepped closer not lowering his gaze. For the first time ever Patrick didn’t budge, he was meeting him as an equal.

“Good evening, Lord Toews. I am here because I wish to speak with you” his voice was soft, yet determined. He didn’t beg, he didn’t seek attention, he demanded it.

When Jonathan looked closely he saw the signs of tiredness on his face. What had led him here was not anger, not a desire to defy him. What had led him there was despair. He was ready to collapse.

 

Jonathan hardened his heart trying not to let compassion sneak up on him. He knew that Patrick had come to plead for the lives of his sisters, his people, the women and children that the war would make collateral damage out of. It was brutal and unfair but the war made no exceptions. He was known for his just judgement and his impartiality but he was also known as a merciless warrior. He wasn’t going to start compromising now.

 

“I will not speak with you” he said “Brent, Duncan escort the Lord outside”

No one moved. His captains looked at each other and then lowered their gazes on the floor.

Patrick smiled “Your men know that the only way to get rid of me is through violence. Apparently, they’re not willing to do so”.

“Fortunately I do not have such concerns”, Jonathan said roughly “If you don’t get out on your own, I’ll make you! And trust me I’ll have no difficulty in picking you up and throwing you out in the snow.”

 

Jonathan saw Patrick’s eyes fill with anger.

“How rude” Patrick answered in mock sweetness “It seems like the war has made you forget your manners, my lord”

Jonathan acknowledged his sarcasm with a head bow “Indeed we are at war, my lord and we are enemies. I do not wish to negotiate with you. Now go, before I as well, lose respect for the rules of the truce, as colonel Gagner has.”

Jonathan walked toward him until they were mere inches apart. He could see Patrick’s pale face, the pulse point at his neck giving away his nervousness. He reached out and took Patrick’s arm to guide him towards the door. Suddenly, he stopped.

 

It was a huge mistake to stand so close and an even bigger one to touch him. His heart clenched, every stored memory of their embraces flooded his mind. He had a strong urge to pull Patrick in and lose himself in him, forget the brutality of the war, his brother’s butchered body, forget everything and feel nothing but Patrick.

He stilled and saw Patrick’s eyebrows frown, trying to figure out what was happening. He saw his eyes widening in realisation and the pink that coloured his cheeks. He knew the exact moment Patrick’s memories travelled back to where his had just moments ago. Their touch brought the past back to life, threatening to make them forget their goals. Patrick was a _royalist_.  He was his _enemy_.

 

He let go of him abruptly, furious at himself and at Patrick “Go away! Now!” he said fiercely “Private Saad will escort you back to your castle”.

He saw Saad’s reluctance even if the soldier didn’t actually disobey. Saad stepped forward showing willingness to fulfil his duties.

Patrick shook his head “You don’t understand” he said “I have to talk to you. I have something really important to say to you, my lord. You have to listen to me”

Jonathan ran out of patience “Nothing you have to say is important enough for me to want to listen. I know you came here to beg me to take pity on your people and your castle and I have no inclination to listen to you plead. Inform Colonel Gagner. Tell him I have no interest in negotiating with him, however…tempting the messenger may be.”

“I’m not here on behalf of Colonel Gagner. The matter I wish to speak you of is of a personal nature and I would like to do so in private” Patrick replied trying very hard to not lose his temper.

“So you came here to plead for your own life, my lord?” he said turning his back on Patrick “Not for the life of your new betrothed and your people?” Jonathan spat the word _betrothed_ as if he had tasted poison “Your selfishness is enlightening”

“I did not come here to beg for anything” Patrick answered contemptuously. He took a deep breath “I came to make a deal with you. I came here to talk to you about your brother, my lord”.

Jonathan heard Saad’s gasp, he saw his captains fidget, and he saw them stand there petrified. They were with him when they had brought Brandon’s body to him, blooded, beaten and unrecognizable, against every rule of the truce. They had witnessed his rage and anguish and they feared his reaction.

“My brother is dead” Jonathan’s tone was detached but the images of death that haunted him were evident in his eyes. “As I’m sure you already know my lord. Colonel Gagner was the one who send him in pieces to me after all”

Patrick looked him straight in the eyes “It is true that he send you back a corpse, my lord, but it wasn’t your brother’s”.

This time no one even blinked. Eerie silence covered the room.

“What are you trying to say?” his voice unrecognizable even to his own ears. He cleared his throat “That my brother is alive? I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you”.

Patrick stepped closer and touched his arm. “Then take this, my lord” he said softly “as proof of my words”.

Jonathan looked down. Patrick was holding the ring with the family crest, Brandon’s name engraved on the side. It was true that Brandon wasn’t wearing it when they brought back his body but Jonathan has assumed Gagner had kept it as a prize.

“Pardon me, my lord, but it is very easy for someone to take a ring off of a dead. It proves nothing” Jonathan replied.

The silence was unbearable.

“You don’t trust me” Patrick said briskly

They looked at each other “No” Jonathan promptly replied “I don’t trust you. I don’t trust anyone. Gagner must think I’m a fool sending you here the eve of the battle expecting me to believe that my brother is alive. He did it on purpose to make me suspend the attack! You’re trying to use my brother as a negotiation mean, dead or alive!”

“Colonel Gagner knows nothing of this” Patrick said. His voice was calm “Only your brother and a handful of my most trusted people have knowledge of this plan, my lord. Your brother is alive. If you attack the castle, he will be surely killed in battle”

Jonathan examined him closely. He seemed as honest and honourable as he once remembered him.

“And why did you only come now? I’ve spend a fortnight thinking my brother is dead. What took you so long?”

“It was impossible to sneak out sooner” Patrick replied “Colonel Gagner…” he paused and hesitantly added “The castle is being closely guarded”.

Jonathan knew that was true. He has been studying its defence and knew the weak points were few. For all his faults he knew Gagner ruled his soldier with iron discipline. Leaving the castle unnoticed was almost impossible.

“Sir Brandon said you wouldn’t believe me, my lord. That is why he asked me to tell you this _‘Tell my stubborn, hard-headed brother to listen to you, Patrick, for all of our sake’_. “

Jonathan heard Brent snort. The comment seemed like something Brandon would say. On the other hand, Patrick had met Brandon before it would be easy to mimic the way of his speech.

“If Brandon truly sent you” Jonathan said “I’m sure he gave you more proof for me to be convinced”.

“Since you’re determined to not trust me then no proof will be able to convince you. You’ll only believe if you see your brother with your own eyes”. Patrick paused “He did tell me a story though; I was hoping I wouldn’t have to relate it. It’s not a story I have heard before either. I’m sure it was not appropriate dinner conversation.”

Jonathan looked curious now.

“Apparently” Patrick continued “few months ago Brandon found you in the stable, drunk, with the stable boy’s hand down your breeches”.

 Jonathan froze. It was a horrible mistake due to alcohol he was trying to forget. Not that he remembered most of the details. He did remember Brandon walking in the barn as Oshie was shoving his hand in his pants. He was utterly thankful to his brother for sparing him what would have been a degrading incident.

He saw Brent and Duncan exchange looks with wide smiles on their faces. He knew the story would circulate around camp within the hour and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He reluctantly laughed and the tension dissolved.

“Damn him!” he muttered “He had sworn he would never tell a soul. I made him take a thousand vows.”

“Sir Brandon assured me that he had kept his vow” Patrick said “but desperate situations require desperate measures”.

“Indeed”. Jonathan looked at him “That’s why you’re here, to negotiate the safety of your castle in exchange of my brother’s life.”

Patrick nodded “I would do anything to save my people’s lives, my lord”.

Jonathan nodded as well. “Brent, Duncan, return to your positions. Saad…” the young soldier bowed not even trying to hide the smirk on his face “get us a pitcher of beer. The good kind…” he gestured the table “not that filth they drink on the other side of the border.” He turned to Patrick once again “Will you drink with me, my lord?”

Patrick shook his head “I have no time to waste, my lord. I came to tell you that sir Brandon is alive and to extort your promise that you will not attack my castle”.

Jonathan invaded his personal space. His soldiers had left them alone in the dim-lighted room.

“You can’t leave now” he said softly “You haven’t finished that story”. He closed the door behind him and offered Patrick a chair. Patrick reluctantly took a seat close to the fire, clutching his cloak in his hands.

“There’s nothing left to tell, my lord. Sir Brandon didn’t mention anything else.”  Patrick said twisting his fingers in the fabric.

“You have you knife with you, right?” Jonathan asked. “Give it to me”

Patrick’s head snapped upwards and he bit his lower lip “I would feel safer if I kept it”

“Undoubtedly” Jonathan said “but the terms of our negotiation is to be unarmed. It’s not anything I’m not willing to do myself” gesturing at his sword hang by the chair.

Patrick reluctantly placed his knife on the table.

“Thank you” he said “You have nothing to fear here. I assure you, you are in no kind of danger.” He half-smiled “Tell me, is everyone frightened of you?”

“No”, Patrick answered trying to figure out if he was being mocked “Not everyone fears me”

Jonathan laughed “Who?”

“My father for once” Patrick paused “Your brother, who has treated me as if I was his younger brother. And you my lord, I heard that nothing scares you.”

“That’s a very convenient story to give courage to my men” Jonathan replied curtly “Only a fool would not be scared in the eve of a battle”

“And you are certainly not a fool. One of the youngest Generals of the Parliament’s army, known for his strategic capabilities, his calm and his courage, a soldier that the King’s men fear more than anyone else…”

They held gazes for a moment. Something in Jonathan’s expression softened.

“It saddened me to hear of your father’s illness” he said “The Count is a great man. He always had my respect despite our differences”

“Thank you” Patrick said as he pushed his curls off his forehead

“Is he going to be all right?”

Patrick shook his head “He’s alive, my lord but he’s as well as dead. He doesn’t move or talk and he barely eats. He doesn’t recognize any of us anymore. It’s just a matter of time”.

Jonathan remained silent. It was pretty much the same as he had heard around the village. The Count has been ill for years; one of the reasons King Sharp has sent Colonel Gagner to command the castle. Both sides wanted to gain access to it. It was pivotal for the war being so close to the border.

The King himself had ordered the engagement between Patrick and Gagner as the war was getting brutal. Jonathan never really liked the Colonel. When he thought he had killed his brother he hated him. As for the thought of his betrothal to Patrick, it was _unbearable_. The thought of them together sickened him.

Looking at Patrick now he felt something in him snap. Gagner would never make Patrick his. Not if he could help it. Unless… unless he already had. There were rumours going around, Patrick’s late nights at the tavern with Tyler. Tyler, if you believed the rumours of course, was a libertine. Jonathan didn’t like him much either. He feared that between him and Gagner his precious Patrick had lost himself in the corruption.

 

There was a knock on the door and Saad entered with the beer. He silently placed it on the table and left.

Jonathan filled two glasses and handed Patrick one. Their fingers touched and he felt the cold in Patrick’s.

“Come closer to the fire” he said softly “you’ll freeze to death. You shouldn’t have been out on a night like this.”

Patrick pulled his chair closer “To what shall we drink at, since we’re at enemy camps?”

“People are torn and confused due to this war. The situation has gotten out of hand and the result is uncertain.” Jonathan commented bitterly.

“I’ve heard that you’re at odds with your father because of…” Patrick realised what he was saying and stopped.

“You heard correctly”

“I’m sorry” Patrick whispered.

The sorrow in his voice matched the one in Jonathan’s heart.

“The only thing we could toast at is loyalty” Jonathan changed the subject “even if the word means something entirely different to both of us”

He clicked his glass with Patrick’s “To loyalty” Patrick said.

They took a sip and started at the fire.

 

Patrick broke the silence “So, will you withdraw the troops, lord Toews? Do we have a deal?”

“No. Not yet” replied Jonathan.

Patrick made an attempt to get up and snatch the knife from the table but Jonathan was quicker than him. He caught his wrist and held tight.

“You’re impatient” his tone was calm in contrast to the look he gave him. “There are some more questions I need you to answer. Stay a little longer”.

He let go of Patrick’s wrist and Patrick rubbed the sore spot. “You have questions you say. Ask them, so I can answer and make my way out of here”

“Very well, is it true that Colonel Gagner is not aware of your decision to tell me about Brandon and negotiate the safety of your castle?”

Patrick flinched at the mention of the colonel. “The absolute truth, my lord. The colonel does not care for the well being of my people, he is not one of our own. He would never try to negotiate with you.”

“So, you’re betraying your ally”

“I’m the King’s ally!” Patrick spat “I never betrayed the Royalist’s cause and I never will!”

Jonathan tilted his head. Patrick wasn’t going to back down. “You insist that Brandon is alive and well and the Colonel purposefully made me believe he was dead.”

Patrick was beginning to lose patience with all the repetition “As I said, Sir Brandon is still alive but not at the best condition”

Jonathan felt his blood boil “So they did torture him then? I should have known!”

“Sir Brandon will be all right, my lord. It will just take some time” Patrick assured him. “He’s young and strong and we’re trying our best to give him the care he deserves.”

Jonathan was glad his brother was being taken care of, he was not glad however to sense a tone of fondness in Patrick’s voice.

“They send me a body. Whose was it?” he questioned.

“A soldier who died of fever.”

“Why would the Colonel have me believe that my brother is dead?” Jonathan asked.

“You’re the soldier, my lord, not me” the bitterness was evident in Patrick’s words “why do you think he did it?”

Jonathan didn’t have to think much about it “He wanted to break the siege. Lure me out in the open increasing his chances to win, rushing me to battle while still holding my brother hostage. Cunning plan! It makes sense, if we say I believe you”

Patrick scorned “I’m not lying. I’ve spend the whole evening listening to your insults and accusations, I think I’ve had enough!”

“Bold words, my lord! It seems you are lying, either to me or the Colonel. Which is it?”

“You keep accusing me of treason!” Patrick said with a trembling voice “My loyalty lies with the King! The Colonel…”

“Yes, the colonel, indeed. What were you going to say about him Patrick?”

Patrick didn’t budge at the mention of his name “Colonel and I both serve the King but our goals are different. My allegiance lies firstly to the King and then to my people. I came here to plead for a truce. For you to save your brother who can’t handle a battle and I to save my people who won’t survive an attack. Take pity on them and call it off.”

Jonathan knew that Patrick hadn’t pleaded for anything in his life. He was prideful and it took everything he had in him to come and beg for his people’s lives. And Jonathan had to refuse.

He shook his head slowly “No, I can’t call off the attack”

Patrick looked up at him in horror “You thick-headed man! You don’t understand! Sir Brandon is too weak to be moved, too weak to fight. If you attack the castle the Colonel’s men _will_ kill him. He’s their prisoner and a negotiation pawn! In which way you look at it, your brother is dead!”

“And why do you care?” Jonathan asked abruptly. He didn’t know why Patrick’s determination to save his brother made him furious.

“Because… because our family ties go way back. Because Sir Brandon is as dear to me as…” he paused and almost whispered “…as if he were my own brother”.

“Yet you thought of using him as a negotiation pawn as well, to save your precious castle” Jonathan said bitterly “I can’t give in to this blackmail”

Patrick looked at him with a mixture of surprise and anger “You won’t do anything to save him then? You have gone completely out of your mind! You would sacrifice your brother’s life for what? So that people don’t think you’re weak? To prove that you’re a better warrior than Gagner? Is _that_ all you care about?”

Jonathan seemed unfazed “Even if I retract my soldiers, I still can’t free Brandon. You’re right-he’s Gagner’s prisoner. The only way to do that is to take over the castle.”

Patrick grabbed his cloak “Then I will not waste any more of my time. Brandon said you’ll listen to the voice of reason. Clearly, he overestimated you.”

Jonathan reached the door in the blink of an eye. He leaned his back to it and crossed his hands in his chest. “What you did not estimate is that you gave me the ammunition to fight the colonel” he said calmly.

Patrick looked at him and Jonathan saw the confusion in his eyes.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

Jonathan gestured his hand around the room “It is true that the Colonel has Brandon, but you are here now, at my mercy; a hostage for a hostage, a life for a life. I will use _you_ to free Brandon, my lord. From this moment on, you’re my captive.”

 


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your nice comments and the encouragement. this is hard to write and I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
> 
> I made a slight adjustment to the tags. I might need to change them again since I'm making it all up as I go. 
> 
> Feel free to point out any mistakes since this is unbeta'd.

 

Dismay and disappointment hit Patrick like a punch in the gut. For a moment the only thing he could think of was Brandon’s words:

_My brother is an honourable man. He will thank you for your intervention; he will treat you with respect…_

And Patrick had believed him. He had remembered the Jonathan he’d met years ago and he had believed Brandon’s words without a doubt. He was such a fool! He was only trying to do the right thing, inform Jonathan about the truth, save Brandon and his people, yet he found himself in the mercy of a man as dangerous as the Colonel. He had risked everything for the truth and how did Jonathan repay him?

He turned so quickly that he knocked a glass off the table.

“You can’t do that!” he said quivering “I trusted you! I came here in good faith to negotiate a truce”.

He saw Jonathan’s face harden “As I said before, it’s best not to trust anyone”.

Patrick stared at him for a second. The memories of Jonathan he treasured had misled him. He remembered the soft, gentle boy who had held him in the gardens under the moonlight, the one who had made Patrick fall in love with him without even realising it. He did not know the man he had become.

“I thought you were an honourable man” he said “obviously I was mistaken”

Jonathan continued to lean against the door, his hands across his chest, a blank expression in his face that infuriated Patrick.

“Perhaps there is no room for honour in war” he replied “You set yourself up by coming here tonight. It would be foolish of me not to take advantage of the opportunity I was given”.

Patrick made a sound of pure disgust “I thought you were different. Sir Brandon swore you were. Unfortunately I made the mistake of believing him.”

Jonathan turned away from the door and stood across Patrick “You thought I was different from whom?” he asked tenderly “From the Colonel?”

“Perhaps. Different from everyone else…” Patrick bit his lower lip as soon as the treacherous words left his mouth. He wasn’t going to reveal his dislike of the colonel, the man he once thought as a friend but turned out to be more of an enemy than any parliamentarian ever could. Their political alliance was hanging by a thread. Patrick had refused his marriage proposal but he still wouldn’t stop, spreading rumours of their supposed engagement.

He looked at Jonathan who was watching him curiously. He looked nothing like the Colonel, but he was two times more dangerous.

“I was wrong about you” he said flatly “You’re no different than the rest”.

He saw a flash of anger light in his eyes, but when he spoke Jonathan’s tone was once again calm.

“I cannot leave an opportunity like this go untapped. You surely understand that. I might be able to exchange you with Brandon and everyone stay unharmed”.

A spark of hope fluttered inside Patrick. “You mean that once the hostage exchange is made you will countermand the attack to my castle?”

“No” Jonathan shook his head “I will exchange your freedom with that of my brother’s, but the Parliamentary party needs to take possession of the castle.”

Patrick’s heart sunk “So you will ransom my life and then proceed to attack my home and my people! Your mercilessness disgusts me! You once swore to my father to protect that land!”

“I’m sorry you see it that way, my lord” Jonathan said bitterly “Unfortunately, we’re at war…”

Patrick’s voice was full of distaste “You keep justifying your actions with that phrase!” he put his hands on the chair feeling Jonathan’s sword below his fingertips “Let’s hope the colonel considers the negotiating significant, though I’m not sure that will be the case”.

“Of course he will find it significant. Everyone knows how close you are to the King.”

“Of course” Patrick mocked. “Send him a message then, what are you waiting for? Tell the colonel that I’m your captive. My father is dying and I would like to be by his side, not here with you”

Jonathan downed his beer and calmly placed the glass on the table. His stolidness was getting on Patrick’s nerves.

“I have no intention of negotiating with the colonel at the moment. I will wait until morning when he drugs Brandon in the loophole to bargain for his life. Then I will produce you and strike a deal with him”

Patrick paled “Damn you! My father maybe taking his last breath as we speak and you’re keeping me away. My sisters must be terrified” he took a step towards the door “well, if you wish to keep me here you will have to do it by force. I will not give in to your plans obediently”

Jonathan stood between him and the door “Do not resist me, Lord Patrick. If you cause a scene in front of my men it _will_ end badly. They might have let you in, but they won’t let you leave disobeying my orders”

Patrick looked at him provocatively “If you lay a hand on me, I will bite you!”

“That would be a huge mistake”

He moved before Patrick had a chance to reply. He held him by the arms, dragged him closer and held him by the waist with one hand. His grip was so tight it made Patrick gasp. He tried to move but it was impossible.

“Yield” he whispered in Patrick’s ear

“Never!” Patrick tried to kick him “Go to Hell!”

Jonathan laughed “I will when my time comes. Now yield.”

As an answer Patrick turned and plunged his teeth in the hand that was holding him. He knew it had hurt him and felt a wild satisfaction. Jonathan cursed and sunk his hand into Patrick’s curls, pulling his head back.

“You’re a wild thing! Surrender to me!”

Patrick didn’t speak. He had to surrender even if he didn’t like it, but he just couldn’t. He relaxed a bit and felt Jonathan’s grip relax as well. His mind was hazy. He couldn’t yield to him, he yielded to no one. There had to be another way.

“If I promise not to run away, will you let go of me so we can talk?”

As Jonathan let go of him, his fingers caressed his curls. It made Patrick dizzy. His touch was soft, velvety. It hit Patrick hard. He realised that he wanted to lose himself in Jonathan’s arms instead of getting away from them. He remembered his hard body against his, his breath against his ear and shivered.

Jonathan touched him again, held him with no force and looked him in the eyes “Promise me you will not try to escape”

Patrick hesitated. Jonathan’s touch, the intensity of his gaze dazed him. He averted his eyes trying to keep his feelings hidden.

“Very well. I promise not to escape”

Patrick was sure Jonathan would let go of him at once, but he kept him close though his touch was gentler now. Patrick felt warmth radiate from Jonathan’s body, a sense of security and strength enveloping him. He felt the urge to hide further into his arms but he was Jonathan Toews, he was the enemy, the man that held him captive. He could not show weakness.

It was too late though. Jonathan’s expression changed and pulled him closer, their lips mere inches apart.

And then he stopped.

Patrick felt his throat dry “Let go of me” he whispered “I don’t trust you”

“I know” Jonathan replied half-smiling “It’s wise not to trust anyone”.

He let go of him and Patrick stepped back.

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked “we both know you have nothing left to negotiate with. I assume you do not plan to bribe me with your body…”

Patrick looked at him contemptuously “You’re contemptible”, he answered.

“And you are powerless” he replied back.

“You’re wrong. I have many advantages. I know every nook and cranny of my castle; I know its weak spots, the colonel’s plans. I could guarantee you safe passage into the castle if I wanted to”

Jonathan looked at him suspiciously “But you never would. You would never betray your cause”

“No” he agreed bitterly “Whatever I did tonight I did it for my house, for my people. My loyalty is not for sale.”

Jonathan smiled ironically “Since neither your loyalty nor your body is for sale, you have no means to treat with.”

“I do not intend to make a treaty with you” Patrick answered “I intend to force you to let me go”

“And how will you do _that_?” Jonathan mused.

Instead of an answer Patrick grabbed the sword’s handle and pulled it from its sheath. Jonathan took a step forward but it was too late. The tip of the sword touched his neck making him step back.

“This is how” Patrick beamed.

Jonathan smiled widely and looked at Patrick with admiration “I can’t believe I was so careless. Just, please be careful. I sharpened it myself this evening. It’s very dangerous.”

“Good!” Patrick sounded satisfied “I now have your life to bargain, lord Toews. My life for your life, it’s a fair trade. Step away from the door. Slowly…”

Jonathan did as he was told. Patrick walked towards the door keeping the sword steady. His hands were itching to brandish the sword, to be able to sway it and yield it to his will, the way he dreamed of doing in battlefields for years. But he didn’t have it in his heart to actually harm Jonathan.

“Lower the blade” Jonathan said raising his palms as if he was surrendering “I will let you leave”

Patrick laughed “You will let me go? You really think I believe that? Besides, I do not need your permission to leave my lord. I’m the one with the sword”.

Jonathan shook his head “Yes, you are. But you won’t be able to go far. My men will catch you. I propose a trade. Let go of the sword and we will make truce”

Patrick looked at him for a second and he regretted it instantly. He saw the fierce determination in his eyes which was almost enough to break his resistance. “The Colonel did not respect the negotiation’s terms. Why would you? Why would I?”

Jonathan didn’t move. “You are not the colonel and neither am I. Lower the sword and come talk with me”.

“If I agree and you betray me I _will_ kill you”

Jonathan nodded affirmatively “I understand. I would like my sword back now. It was given to me by my father” he said while searching the pockets of his shirt.

Patrick remembered that that was where he had put the knife he took from him. He raised the sword to Jonathan’s chest “Not so fast Lord Toews.”

“I apologize… I merely wished to return the knife to you. I suspect it means as much to you as my sword does to me”

Patrick felt the tears well up in his eyes. It was a gift from his father. The only weapon he was allowed to carry. It always reminded him of the restrictions that were forced upon him. A small knife for short, powerless Patrick, who was not allowed to fight.

Patrick blink to chase the tears away “Put the knife on the table” he said hoarsely “slowly. And don’t come any closer”

“I would never make a mistake like that” Jonathan agreed and slowly took the knife out and placed it on the table.

“Good. And now…you asked for a trade. What did you wish to talk about?”

Jonathan rubbed his forehead “We have nothing to discuss” he answered “I promised to let you go. You are free to leave.”

“What do you mean?” Patrick asked tentatively.

Jonathan gestured towards the door “I’m saying that you can go. Go back to your castle. I changed my mind. I will not use you in exchange for Brandon. It’s pointless. We have nothing more to say.”

Patrick didn’t move. His sudden change of mind had taken him by surprise. If he let him go now what would happen to Brandon? He would still be the colonels’ prisoner and Jonathan would have no means to negotiate.

“What about your brother?” he asked

Jonathan huffed bitterly “I’m willing to take a chance, Lord Patrick” he answered “I’m risking my brother’s life to take possession of the castle. Parliamentarians need this. If I start bargaining, the only thing I will accomplish is delay the inevitable attack”

Patrick shook his head confused “But if they kill Brandon…”

Jonathan clenched his lips “They will think that an alive captive worth more to them than a dead one. The colonel will keep him safe in case he needs to bargain for his own pathetic life.” He made a contemptuous gesture and turned his back but Patrick was able to see the pain in his eyes and the effort he made to hide its effects.

“This will not be easy for you if you keep pretending. You know there’s a lot at stake.”

Jonathan turned to look at him “I know. And if my brother dies I’ll regret it for the rest of my life”.

Patrick could see Jonathan’s determination to keep him at a distance. Make it seem there was no struggle inside him. He wanted neither Patrick’s sympathy nor his gratitude.  Patrick wasn’t fooled by his monotone though.

“You love your brothers…yes, and you love your father as well. You’re letting me go because you don’t want _my_ father to die alone. You think highly of him. You know how bitter it is to be alienated from your family, to lose everything dear to your heart”.

Jonathan glared at him “Enough! You may think that you know me, but you know nothing. You fool yourself if you think I’m letting you go due to chivalry, or pity, or generosity or any other noble motive as such. I do not have such feelings anymore, assuming I ever did in the first place. The simple fact is that I do not need a hostage. I can take the castle another way”

“You speak so casually for the destruction of my home. You are ready to tear everything apart and I have no way of stopping you” Patrick said

“No, you cannot stop me. But I admire you for trying. Now go”

Patrick let go of the sword and picked up his cloak. Not for one second did he believe Jonathan’s cold-hearted words but he knew he could never make him tell the truth. He knew that he cared about his brother. It was well known that he felt the same for his soldiers as well. The men under his command were his family. He didn’t light-heartedly send them to their deaths. But he knew that Jonathan would never admit that. They were at enemy camps; you do not show your weakness to your enemy.

 

Jonathan was standing by the door and Patrick paused for a second before reaching for the handle. Jonathan stopped his hand “You are engaged to my enemy” he said in a low voice “I will destroy your house. If I say that I’m truly sorry, you will think of me a liar, but believe me when I say that I will try my best to minimize the damage”.

Patrick tried to move away but Jonathan held his hand “I understand” he said “As you said, we are at war. And in times of war, people suffer”

“Be careful tomorrow” Jonathan said. He glanced at their joined hands and then back at Patrick “Even if you don’t trust me, take my advice. When the attack begins, gather the people you hold dearer and lock yourselves to the safest place in the house. I will send for you as soon as I can”.

Patrick stared dumbfounded “You really believe that you’ll win?”

“Yes”

Patrick bit his bottom lip “I fear for your life”

The words fell from his lips involuntarily and he heard Jonathan catch his breath. They were standing so close together, the longing evident in his eyes. He wanted! Patrick wanted too!

Jonathan took a deep breath “If I find the colonel before he finds me tomorrow” he said sharply “do you want me to spare his life for you?”

“No” he answered “I do not wish for you to spare his life for my sake, my lord. I though of him a friend once, but he took everything I held dear and destroyed it. He took my father’s place, took over my home, betrayed my people’s trust…If you want to show me gratitude my lord, take his life. Kill him for me.”

Silence filled the room. Jonathan stared and pulled him in abruptly. He dipped his fingers into Patrick’s curls and captured his mouth in a fierce kiss. Patrick surrendered to him, opening his lips giving him way to shove his tongue inside his mouth. Suddenly, he was a boy again, back at his house gardens, the night smelling of flowers. It was a demanding, lustful kiss and made Patrick feel nothing but Jonathan; his taste, his smell, the roughness of his hands in contrast to the softness of his touch.

Jonathan led him towards the bed. He gently placed him there before covering his body with his own, capturing his mouth once again. Patrick kissed back with the same urgency. He knew he was supposed to hate him, hate the enemy, but he couldn’t. What he felt for him was dangerously close to love…

He felt Jonathan’s fingers tremble as he tucked Patrick’s shirt out of his breeches, slipped his hand beneath it and caressed Parick’s side. He traced Patrick’s back with his fingertips while nibbling along Patrick’s neck, making him shiver.

He took off Patrick’s shirt and continued sucking and kissing along his neck. He bit his chin lightly and lapped at the spot before continuing lower until he found Patrick’s nipple catching it between his teeth. Patrick sighed and twitched beneath him, he arched his body to force Jonathan closer, to demand more. He felt Jonathan’s hand slide up his thigh, barely grazing his hardening cock and a deep moan escaped his lips.

The sound startled Jonathan and pulled him out of his haze. He stared at Patrick like he wasn’t real, like he had woken up from a dream. He stood up and turned his back to Patrick trying to compose himself. Patrick felt cold and alone even if they were still few feet apart. He snatched his shirt and put it back on.

“Patrick” Jonathan said using just his name this time. His voice was hoarse and Patrick shivered.

He shook his head “No! Do not say a word” He took his cloak and wrapped it around him “I made a mistake. I thought that we could go back, to how we were, or supposed to be, but we can’t.”

They looked at each other, knowing the truth in those words. They were enemies now, just that. They had no future, not with the war in between them.

“Be careful tomorrow” he said

“Be safe Patrick” was the last think he heard. Jonathan whispered it behind him as he was shutting the door and any chance they had.

 

 

 Come morning light Jonathan would be either dead or a conqueror. 

 

 


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to the lovely Shelby18 fot the beta. all remaining mistakes are my own.

“My lord!” Tyler was climbing the stairs as Patrick was ready to open his bedroom door “Colonel Gagner is inside. He was asking for you”

Patrick hesitated for a moment. That was just his luck! Of course the Colonel was looking for him the one time he managed to sneak out of the castle!

“Thank you, Tyler” he said and took a deep breath before opening the door.

The colonel was there, standing by the fire, a stern look on his face.

“Good evening, sir. What can I do for you?” Patrick asked his tone as typical and calm as he could master.

“For starters, you can tell me where you’ve been. Your…people didn’t know to say” he replied briskly.

Over his shoulder Patrick could see Tyler slump his shoulders apologetically. Andrew was sitting in a chair looking at the floor. Patrick knew it wasn’t due to shyness. He was trying to contain his anger and hate for the colonel.

“I was at church” he answered unperturbed “praying for a fair outcome of tomorrow’s battle”.

He didn’t know if the colonel believed him. His cloak was covered with more snow that a visit in church would have created.

“And what do you consider a fair outcome, lord Patrick?” he asked, tone quarrelsome  

“Only God knows, sir. I put my faith and hope in Him” he said innocently.

Gagner antipathetically growled “We will win tomorrow. We hold sir Brandon captive after all and we’ll show that scoundrel brother of his what he has to do to get him back”

Patrick saw Andrew ready to make a protesting gesture and barely holding himself. He has been attending to Brandon’s needs ever since they took him out of the dungeon and Patrick knew that his care went past the mere wish to heal a sick man. Andrew didn’t seem to mind that Brandon was a Parliamentarian, or at least the vulnerable position Brandon was in made Andrew push that in the back of his mind.

Patrick took a glance at him. Andrew seemed inconsolable; he knew that Brandon was to be displayed in the embrasures and either be killed or freed. Whichever happened, he knew he would never see him again.

“Sir Brandon is in no condition to be moved” he said hastily “I beg of you to let him rest”

The colonel didn’t even bother to look at Andrew, even if he was the one to speak. “Rest!” he snorted “There’s no rest for him. He will be our shield against the enemy even if we have to drag his unconscious body up there. Keep your worries for your uncle, if you need to have any” he then turned at Patrick “how is the old man?”

The indifference and disrespect of his tone made Patrick furious but his answer was civilised “Lord Kane’s condition has not changed. I pray for his recovery every day”. It pained him to have to refer to his father as Lord. His father was the Count! Well, he had been, before the colonel came in, disguised as a helpful friend and took over everything!

Patrick felt a sense of triumph in the flash of fear in the colonel’s eyes. He knew he couldn’t rid of the superstitious perception that Count Kane could regain his health and power and hold him accountable for the way he had treated his castle and his people. Patrick used that fear in his advantage. He even had to call upon the name of King Sharp when one night the colonel, drunk and furious had enter his bedroom and tried to bed him. He hadn’t tried that since.

“We are all praying for the quick recovery of the Count, my Lord” said Tyler all proper and polite to get a rise out of the colonel, but his words were sincere and heartfelt.

Gagner gave him a poisonous glare and stormed for the door “Have Bollig ready in a few hours! As for the rest of you, you can all go to hell!” he spat and banged the door on his way out.

 

Patrick sent Tyler to rest as soon as the colonel’s footsteps stopped echoing on the stairs. Andrew took the wet cloak off of Patrick and gestured him to sit closer to the fire. Unintentionally, Patrick’s mind went back not two hours ago when Jonathan had asked him to do the same. From the moment he had entered Jonathan’s room Patrick had felt like burning and freezing at the same time, like he was in fervour.  On one hand he was feeling like he was betraying his cause by going there to make a deal for his castle. On the other hand, in those moments, he couldn’t care less about the war, the parliament or the King. He wanted to lose himself into Jonathan, to take his hand and lead him back to his castle, make him claim everything that once was promised to him, Patrick included. And that…that filled him with such guilt now that they were apart and the spell Jonathan had cast on him was broken.

Andrew touched his shoulder lightly to get his attention “Did you meet with Lord Toews?” he whispered. His dark eyes were filled with so much hope but the worry and stress were evident as well. The last few years, Andrew had become more of a brother to Patrick than a cousin. He was sent away when he came of age so as not to claim his stake on his father’s heritage. Even if he was his only son, he was still a bastard, never called anything other than Shaw. His father denied him his name even on his death bed. Count Kane had taken him in when his step-mother had thrown him out.

Patrick smiled at his cousin sadly, “I met with him, Andrew. I told him that his brother is alive” he hesitated “he was relieved to hear the news”.

Andrew sighed “What kind of man has he become, Pat? Is he anything like Brandon?” Patrick noticed that the blush that used to creep up Andrew’s cheeks when he said Brandon’s name at first had now disappeared. That meant that something more than nursing had happened into that room and Patrick didn’t know if he should be happy that Andrew got to live that, or sorry that he was about to lose it.

“Lord Toews is much like sir Brandon, only more…” he tried to search for an appropriate word “more forceful?” it sounded questioning because Patrick was still unsure on how to describe Jonathan other than ‘the most perfect, yet obnoxious, creature God had created’.

Tyler shrieked, apparently he hadn’t gone to rest as he was told! “More forceful than Sir Brandon?” a blush crept up on Patrick’s cheeks, he knew how that conversation with Tyler would go, the only way all conversations with him went! “Ha! You blushed!” Tyler exclaimed “If I remember correctly, which of course I do!, you used to _like_ Lord Toews when he came to the castle to ask for your hand”

“That was a long time ago, Tyler” he commented “Did you forget that we are enemies now?”

Tyler huffed. Patrick knew he was loyal to him but he had a more simple view of the civil war than Patrick. For him civil conflicts caused nothing but trouble, took away people’s ability to feed their children, tore families and lovers apart. Tyler saw the consequences on his stays in the tavern; with a little help from Brownie, of course. Tyler’s lover was not exactly in favour of the Parliament but he had no allegiance to the King either. Tyler said that Brownie wished for the war to be over so the suffering would end and they could finally settle down and just _be_.

“Lord Toews will not suspend the attack” Patrick said. “I asked and he refused”.

Patrick saw the pain and misery in Andrew’s eyes. Tyler coughed “You did the best you could, Patrick. You did more for us than anyone else ever had. Do not feel bad”

Andrew squeezed Patrick’s hand “Not even for Brandon’s sake? Oh, Patrick…”

Patrick shook his head tiredly “I’m sorry, Andrew. I did the best I could, I swear. But lord Toews believes that Brandon has more chances of surviving if he takes possession of the castle, so…” he left his sentence unfinished.

“The King…”Tyler said with a flash of hope in his eyes “we still have time. Surely the King will come to save his treasure, right?”

Patrick shook his head negatively “He can’t. It’s too dangerous. If he attacks and fails, the secret will be revealed.  We can do nothing but keep our mouths shut.”

“So now we’re just waiting to be attacked” Tyler said “What do you think will happen, Patrick? Is there a chance Lord Toews will win?”

“It’s very likely” Patrick answered truthfully “he has canons and the castle won’t hold to an artillery attack”

He squeezed Andrew’s hand and stood up “Tyler, go to the kitchens and bring us food and beer to last us a while. Bring the servants with you so as to be safe. We need fire wood and water. I intend to barrack this tower when the attack begins. Andrew, go to sir Brandon. Do not wake him up if he’s asleep. I don’t intend to hand him over to the colonel, not if I can help it”

Andrew’s face lit up and a spark of hope flickered in him.

“Poor boy” Tyler commented sadly as Andrew left the room “He thinks he’s in love! Whatever happens tonight, things won’t work out for him”

“Nothing good can come from this for all of us” Patrick said. If the colonel won, the siege would break, but the village and the surrounding areas would suffer under his command. If Lord Toews won…Patrick shivered. He didn’t want to think about it. If Jonathan won, the only thing between him and the King’s treasure would be Patrick.

 

Patrick left the room and walked towards his father’s chambers. He was moved in the tower when he fell ill, next to his daughters’ room so Patrick could keep an eye on all of them. The tower was the oldest part of the castle and provided autonomy to Patrick and his closest people. He had the advantage of being on the other side of the troops’ barracks and it was the safest part of the castle.

His father’s room was lit by a single candle. The moonlight that snuck behind the curtains though, was enough for Patrick to see the paleness of his father’s face. He sat on a stool beside him and took his hand. The Count didn’t move. As Patrick feared he would never see him move ever again, the Count opened his eyes.

Patrick leaned closer to hear what his father was struggling to say.

“The King’s treasure…”; his voice an imperceptible whisper. “Safe?”

 “Yes, father. Do not worry. Everything is fine” Patrick tried to placate him

“And you?”

“I’m fine as well” he realised that he was squeezing his father’s hand and he tried to loosen his grip “We’re all praying for your recovery, father. Save your strength”

The Count’s lips twitched as if he was trying to smile. “Nonsense! Do not give me false hope, my son”

“No, father”

“I’m dying”

“Yes, father” Patrick tried to smile through his tears “I wish it wasn’t so”

The Count shook his head “The Colonel…” he tried to wet his lips and Patrick took the glass from the stand and brought it to his lips “Do not trust him”

“No, father”

“You need a sturdy man”

“I’m fine as I am, father. I’m quite capable myself.”

“Nonsense!” the count said again “When Toews proposes to you, say yes. You have my blessing”

Patrick frowned. Despite his fever and deterioration of his health the count was aware of Lord Toew’s siege on the castle, though he clearly was delusional at this point to think that Jonathan would still wish to marry Patrick.

“You’re wrong, father” Patrick reminded him softy “Lord Toews is our enemy. It’s been a long time since he’d asked for my hand”

“He will again” a satisfied smile crept on his face “I know. He is a wise man. Marry him. This is my wish.”

Patrick said nothing. He didn’t want to upset his father. His only concern was to ensure the future of his children even if that meant breaking his oath and marrying his son to a Parliamentarian. It was the only thing that could calm him and Patrick didn’t want to take that away from him.

“Sleep now” he said softly, and watched as his father turned his head into the pillow and closed his eyes like an obedient child.

  *

  

Patrick didn’t know how much time he had spent beside his father, but when he stood up and placed a tender kiss to his father’s forehead he felt numb. He knew his days were numbered. He clenched his fists trying not to cry. He tried to hold on to the last shred of hope. He had to!

He left the room and walked towards the chambers where Sir Brandon was resting. When they had taken Brandon out of the dungeon, Andrew had disobeyed the Colonel’s orders and had made the servants carry him to a room where it would be easy to supervise his care. The Colonel had tried to forbid it but the close proximity to the Count’s room prevented him from raising havoc. Instead, he had taken his rage out on the dishware down in the kitchens. Brandon remained at the tower, being cared by Andrew, essentially owing his life to him.

Patrick opened the door quietly. As he had suspected, Andrew was sitting beside Brandon’s bed. There was an open book on his lap but Andrew has fallen asleep, head resting at the back of the chair, his hand holding Brandon’s. They looked so peaceful.

Brandon looked nothing like his brother, of course, but as Patrick looked at him his mind wandered back to Jonathan. He knew that Lord Toews was a dangerous enemy, an opponent he could not underestimate. He had seen the ingenuity and determination in the darkness of his eyes. Patrick did not wish a confrontation with him, but if he had to protect the King’s treasure one would be unavoidable. That thought scared him.

Memory was a weird thing, Patrick thought. He hadn’t seen Jonathan for four years yet every detail of his face was carved in his mind. He compared that to the man he saw a few hours ago, only to realise that Jonathan had become more imperial and definitely more attractive. He took one last look at Brandon and wondered if Jonathan would seem as calm in his sleep if he had no worries in his mind. He couldn’t help but think that if he had stayed a little longer that night he might have had a chance to witness it himself. He would have made love with him and wait to watch him fall asleep. Maybe that is why he looked at a sleeping Brandon, to imagine if that would have been Jonathan’s sight as well. He discarded the thought. Brandon and Jonathan, though growing up together, they weren’t really brothers. They shared no resemblance that could help Patrick imagine a sleeping Jonathan’s form.

He left the room and closed the door behind him. He took a walk outside only to find out that there were no guards around the tower, as if no one cared for the safety of the Count and his children. Patrick’s gaze travelled to the pathway leading to the gardens subsequently remembering the moments he had spent there with Jonathan years ago. For a moment Patrick allowed himself to think that if Jonathan were there now, Patrick would have felt safe in his arms. He shook his head. That was a frivolous dream. They were at enemy camps; they could never be anything more than enemies.

He turned his back and headed towards the tower. He found his bedroom door open and Tyler carrying supplies with the servants. “All set, my lord” he said “We have nothing else to do but wait”

Patrick nodded and returned to his father’s room. He sat beside him trying not to cry, and started praying. He didn’t know for what until he caught himself wishing for good to prevail. His head and heart were battling for which of the two sides that was.

  

*

 

“Patrick! Patrick!” rough hands were shaking him awake. His head hurt. He opened his eyes with a groan.

“What’s wrong?” he saw the first rays of light through the curtains “What happened? Has the attack begun?”

“Yes, Patrick” Tyler said and grabbed him by the sleeve, leading him towards the window “Come look! They’re knocking down the walls!”

Patrick arrived at the window as the gate was falling. He saw men fighting side by side. Even at this point of fear, there was still a side of him that wished he could grab his sword and join the battle. He supposed it was a good thing he couldn’t. He wasn’t sure which army he would have fought with.

He heard someone shout “Fire!” He looked down at the base of the tower and saw the Colonel there. He glanced at Patrick, smiling sadistically as he threw the lit torch on the ground. The gunpowder sparked and Patrick caught a glimpse of the first flames before he felt Tyler grab him by the arm “He set the tower on fire! He’ll burn us alive!” Tyler screamed.

The explosion shook the walls and made the two men lose their balance. “We have to go through the moat. It’s the only way out.” Patrick said.

Tyler’s eyes were filled with fear “Patrick, your father…”

Patrick looked at his father and his heart clenched. He knew that his father had left his last breath at some point during the night while Patrick was asleep.

“It’s too late” he mumbled grinding his teeth “We have to leave”

He pushed Tyler on the corridor and stopped Sir Bickell who was trying to help the servants. “Take Andrew and help Brandon walk down the stairs. Send Sir Leddy to get my sisters. Tyler, stay close to the King’s treasure. Make sure everyone is safe” he ordered and shoved them towards the door that led to the moat.

They opened the door and stepped in, standing on the stone boulder above the water.

“I can’t swim!” Tyler said holding Andrew on one hand and a little girl on the other. It was getting crowded and people kept shoving them. “oh, Patrick…” Tyler whimpered.

The Parliamentary soldiers had taken down the defensive wall on the other side of the moat and they were ready to attack.

Patrick raised his voice to be heard above the gun noise “Do not shoot! Help us! We have Sir Brandon!”

He saw familiar faces at the head, Brent and Duncan, his memory provided, and felt a wave of relief surround him as he saw the dark-haired one raising his hand, gesturing his soldiers to put down their weapons.

Someone lowered the bridge and people started getting out. Bryan and Andrew were helping the injured Brandon as the enemy soldiers created a pathway for the rider to pass through.

It was Jonathan Toews. His grey armour had his family’s colours and crest. He jumped down from his horse and Patrick saw him embrace Brandon then turning his gaze to him. Patrick felt a lump on his throat. The last servant had crossed the bridge and Tyler, still holding the little girl gestured Patrick to come out as well. A cold shiver ran through his back. He turned and looked at the tower. He turned and run towards the stair.

  *

 

The old tower was burning slowly. It was built with solid stone but the gunpowder had weakened it now, and as the fire was spreading, it was ready to fall.

Patrick was feeling his way to his father’s room. The smoke was thick and burned his lungs. He didn’t know what he was doing, he only knew he wanted to say goodbye to his father. He hadn’t had the chance when the attacked happened.

He kneeled beside the bed and hid his face in the duvet. He was shaking uncontrollably. The smoked thickened as he placed a kiss to his father’s hand and the door flew open with a bang.

Someone grabbed him and stood him on his feet turning him around. It was Jonathan Toews. His face was dark and wild, black from the smoke, bloodstained from the battle. There was a deep gash on his arm and his hair was glued to his forehead from the sweat. His eyes were filled with rage.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked icily, squeezing him with force. “If you don’t come with me right away, you will follow your father to his death sooner than you think”

Patrick tried to free himself from Jonathan’s grasp, turning his head towards his father once more. Jonathan manhandled him towards the door and all but carried him to the moat. He helped him cross the bridge but didn’t let go even when the reached the other side.

The tower collapsed with a deafening bang, flames were dancing between the ruins. He heard Bryan and Tyler calling his name as they were rushing his way. He was so tired, felt so lonely and hopeless he couldn’t find it in himself to tell Jonathan to let him go.  He rested his head on Jonathan’s shoulder and allowed himself to feel safe, even for just a moment.

 

 *

  

Jonathan Toews was standing on the embrasure watching the ruins down on the forecourt. He felt a wild satisfaction, growing wilder by the fact that he had taken the castle from the Colonel, with minimum human casualties. His men had already gathered the Royalists’ dead bodies. Jonathan would make sure they had a proper burial.

He placed his hands on the stone wall breathing in the clear night air. The castle has fallen exactly as he had anticipated, but the Colonel had escaped. Sensing his impending fall, he had set the tower on fire and had fled, like the coward he was. He was a fugitive now, with a bounty on his head, ordered by the King himself. Jonathan would gladly kill him for free.

The relief Jonathan had felt seeing Patrick cross the bridge had turned to rage and helplessness when he turned back and rushed again into the flaming tower. Ignoring Brent’s yelling and name calling (‘reckless, stubborn and foolish’ being his favourite), Jonathan had run after him. He knew he had to do it. And what pushed him to act was something deeper than respect or honour.

He was so furious when he found him! The only thing that kept him from smacking some sense into him was the devastation and helplessness in Patrick’s expression. And then he had held him, feeling him melt against him and a wave of relief and lust had run through his entire body.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about Patrick since the moment he entered his cabin, cloak covered in snow. And he had wanted him ever since the first time they touched. Only now, it wasn’t the urge of youth that driven him, it was a deeper need that burned Jonathan’s insides and made his heart flutter.

He sat up. The castle was under his command now and its Lord was about to be as well. They had promised him both in the past. It had come the time for him to demand what was rightfully his.

 

 


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by Shelby18. Thank you for looking this over for me and listening to my rambling.

 

Deep in his grief, with no sense of space or time, Patrick slept through the whole day and woke up right before dawn. He struggled to get out of bed, let Tyler convince him to eat a few teaspoons of stew and asked about the castle. He could hear people and noise all around him.

“Lord Toews has already had his men start on repairing the castle” Tyler informed him “They’re cleaning the pantry and bringing food in. Fresh bread and meat, Patrick! Didn’t you taste the stew? It’s delicious! A little more of that and you’ll get your strength back in no time”

“My father?” Patrick asked ignoring Tyler’s food rambling “Did they find his body?”

Tyler shook his head sadly “No, Pat. There’s nothing left from the tower.”

“Funeral pyre” Patrick muttered. He shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. “And the Colonel? Was he captured?”

“No” Tyler said once again “He fled and left his soldiers behind. No one knows where he is”

Patrick was shocked “He fled? That cowardly traitor…”

Tyler puckered his lips in contempt “Lord Toews is trying to pick up his trail. Some of his men escaped but most of them were captured and were sent to General Hossa.” Tyler paused “He’s a good man Lord Toews. He could have executed them but he took pity on them”

Patrick was horrified “Execute them? I haven’t even thought of it! I should have done something to help them”

Tyler patted him gently on the back “You did so much for us Pat. You saved us when the Colonel tried to burn us alive. There was no way for you to help the soldiers. Whatever you may think of Lord Toews, he is right and just and has shown mercy to our people.”

Tyler was right, Patrick thought. Jonathan could have slaughtered them and no one would have judged him but he had kept his word and treated his enemies fairly.

“How many of our people did we lose?” he asked “And Lord Toews… did any of his people…? It didn’t occur to me until now that you could help me treat the injured”.

Tyler sighed “None of our people were harmed. Some have minor injuries but they will be all right. The colonel lost about fifty men, Lord Toews less than a dozen.” He paused for a second “I think he took their death hard though.”

Patrick felt bad for the soldiers and their families “How about Sir Brandon?”

Tyler smiled “He’s like a new man now that he’s with his brother and his people again. I swear despite his strictness, Lord Toews was overwhelmed by getting his brother back.”

“I can imagine” Patrick said remembering the pain and rage he had seen on Jonathan when he thought his brother was dead.

“Lord Toews was asking about you, Pat. He comes by once in a while to see how you are. And if he can’t come himself, he sends a messenger. He asked me to call for him as soon as you wake up.”

“And did you?” Patrick asked. He found it a great opportunity to test the loyalty of his people and see if they would obey Jonathan’s orders before consulting with him.

Tyler looked at him with the corner of his eye “Of course I did” he said with a smirk “I sent a message first thing.”

Something in Patrick’s expression clued Tyler in on what he was thinking “It’s not like that Pat, you know that. I just didn’t have it in me to refuse him. It means something that he _asked_ for something instead of demanding it, as he well could.”

“Yes” Patrick agreed with a sigh

“He said he would like to see you when you feel better” Tyler continued “Should I send for him now?”

“I suppose I have to see him”. Jonathan was in charge of the castle now. He could have well ordered him to appear before him with the arrogance of the conqueror. Instead, he waited for Patrick to call him. That was very diplomatic of him, Patrick thought, he was being careful, not wanting to turn Patrick against him from the start. The other thought, which was trying to creep into Patrick’s mind and tell him that maybe Jonathan was trying to give him space out of respect and affection, he dismissed it instantly as foolish.  

“You do know that we’re all loyal to you Patrick, don’t you?” Tyler asked hesitantly and touched Patrick’s arm “We love you. But your Lord father, God rest his soul, is gone now, the castle has been taken over by the Parliamentarians and we have no idea what is going to happen next” he snuffed “The only thing we want is food on our table and peace on our home. We know that Lord Toews is your enemy, Patrick, but we are still hoping for peace.”

Patrick understood what Tyler was trying to say. Even though his people would still be loyal to him out of love and respect, they did not wish for another battle round. They had suffered enough, even under the command of the Royalists. He remembered what Tyler had told him about his lover’s words, they wanted to rebuild their houses, go back to their work and their lives, settle down, get married, just _be_.

Jonathan, even being an enemy to the Royalists, offered the castle and its people protection in these harsh times. And they were now torn between the love they had for Patrick and his need to stay true to his cause, and their need to live peacefully.

Patrick patted Tyler lightly “I know, Tyler. I understand. We all want peace in our castle. We are all tired of fighting. But I cannot break the oath I swore to the King and I won’t”.

“No, of course not. And we are not going to hand the King’s treasure over to them. I swear! As much as I wish for the peace Lord Toews can bring, I will not say a word” he cringed “even if they torture me”

Patrick tried not to snort. Tyler could be a little over-dramatic at times “For God’s sake! I don’t think it will come to that! Let’s hope that we will be able to return the treasure to the King, without Lord Toews finding out”.

Tyler nodded in agreement.

“Now go tell Lord Toews I’m ready to see him”.

When Tyler left, Patrick composed himself and tried to look presentable. He wasn’t going to hide behind his grief and allow Jonathan Toews to steal his inheritance away.

He left his room and stepped outside, taking in the sight of his castle. He hadn’t felt safe and free inside the walls in a long time. He wanted to go back to the arena and train with his sword, be able to walk through the gardens without looking over his shoulder. He was so exhausted from being afraid.

That was not the only reason he felt jitterish though, he admitted to himself as he entered the main hall. He knew that in a few moments he’d have to face Jonathan and that made his breath catch and his heart pound. As much as he tried, he couldn’t forget the way Jonathan’s fingers had caressed his body, the feel of his tongue, the way he was panting against his neck. He feared that his presence, his touch would undercut his determination to fight for his castle and his King.

He heard footsteps outside the door and suddenly Jonathan was standing in front of him. He was wearing his uniform, a black and red tunic and light-grey breeches. He looked strong and dangerous. His attire was a reminder of his position on the castle as a representative of the victorious Parliamentarians. He remembered the bloody man who had saved him from his father’s burning room and his heart flapped. 

Their gazes met and Patrick turned his away. His treacherous body and his stubborn heart were telling him he still had feelings for the man, but he had to set them aside. He needed to remember that Jonathan was the enemy and be on alert -to defend himself, his heritage and the King’s treasure.

“Lord Kane” Jonathan greeted him in an official tone “Allow me to offer my sincere condolences for your loss”

Patrick bowed his head lightly in an official manner as well “Thank you, Lord Toews”.

Jonathan took him by the hand and led him towards the wooden bench. Patrick shuddered and tried to pull away. His feelings for him were complicated and they made Patrick feel vulnerable. Patrick hated feeling helpless- he had to stay away to protect himself.

“You look tired, my lord” Jonathan said examining his face closely “Do you not feel well? I do not wish to upset you with matters that can be discussed a more appropriate time.”

Patrick lifted his head and looked at him straight in the eyes “So you know for a fact that you are going to upset me, Lord Toews? It saddens me to hear that.”

Patrick pulled his hand out of Jonathan’s and moved as far away from him as was possible. Jonathan was looking at him intensely and it made him uncomfortable.

“I’m afraid it’s unavoidable, my lord” his tone was soft but it didn’t fool Patrick. He was a man of duty and he had a mission to see through. It was understandable. The battle for the conquest of the castle was over, but the battle between them was just about to begin.

Patrick tried to stop his hands from shaking by lacing his fingers together “I understand” he said “Now, before we start quarrelling there is something I wish to say to you my lord”

Jonathan frowned “I owe you my life” Patrick said matter of factly “I’m sorry I made it difficult for you to save me”

Jonathan half-smiled “You didn’t want to abandon your father; I understand.”

“They tell me it’s unlikely for his body to be found” Patrick said in a small voice

“I believe so. I am deeply sorry”

“Then I need to ask you for a favor my lord. Even though we can’t give him a proper burial, I would like to honor his memory. My people would surely like to pay their respects, and I was wondering if we could hold a wake”

Jonathan nodded at once “Of course. I will make all the arrangements.”

“Thank you Lord Toews. This is more than I could have hoped for… from an enemy”

Jonathan bowed mockingly “Which brings us to our subject, lord Patrick. The castle’s future.”

“It’s my right to care for the castle now” he answered sharply “And I need to know your intentions on the matter. The castle is my heritage and I want to know when you’re going to leave. I’ve heard the Colonel left and his troops had scattered. You have control of the arsenal. My castle is no longer the Royalists’ rampart, therefore not a military threat to you any longer”

Patrick stopped because he could see the answer in Jonathan’s eyes. His soft, worrying look had given its place to a hard, detached one. “I’m sorry but it’s not that simple”

Patrick felt numb. He was afraid of that. His only hope had been that with the siege’s ending and Gagner’s departure, Jonathan’s troops would leave the castle. Deep down though, he knew that the Parliamentarians would never leave the castle now they had their hands on it. It was a valuable, priceless plunder.

“Lord Patrick, you need to understand that there are a lot of reasons I cannot give up the castle”.

“I understand nothing” he answered petulantly. “Only that the castle is rightfully mine and you have overstayed your welcome”

Jonathan made an impalpable gesture. Patrick couldn’t tell if he was angry or if his words had no affect on him because his expression was stone cold.

“I’m asking you to sign a deed on behalf of the Royalists that says the castle is under military tenure, lord Patrick. Then we can discuss what might come after that”

Patrick clamped his fists “And if I refuse?”

Jonathan shrugged “Revolutionary leaders are hanged, executed or captured” he said “Depending on the victor’s clemency”

“I am not a revolutionist!” Patrick yelled “ _You_ took up arms against your anointed King!”

His expression was still impassive but his tone changed “Oh, yes” he said “I forgot. You chose to ally with a man like Gagner, who might have been a royalist but ruled the castle with an iron fist, taking everything away from your people and destroying your home. _That’s_ what you’re loyal to.”

Patrick was trying really hard to contain his rage “You know I hated the colonel” he hissed “I made a mistake and I’m not afraid to admit it. He ended up being greedy and cruel; I guess he didn’t handle rejection well. The only thing we had in common was our cause. But I’m the beneficiary of my father’s fortune, lord Toews. We may be at war, but the castle is my heritage and if you take it away from me you’d be breaking the law.”

“I have already taken it. The castle housed a garrison therefore is mine because I conquered it”

Patrick lost all control “You can’t do that!” he screamed “You can’t march in here and take away my land just like that!”

Jonathan’s teeth creaked from his strain not to implode “My men are staying here until the area is safe for the Parliamentarians. We’re in the midst of civil war and the castle is an excellent control base. I’m sorry but you have no say in this, my lord”

Patrick’s head was thudding. He wanted to fall asleep and wake up, realise this was all a bad dream. He wanted his father’s guidance. He hated feeling helpless and alone.

“You can’t _steal_ my patrimony like that!” he said “You have no right! What is going to happen to my sisters? How can I tell them they have no home any longer?” He sent Jonathan a pleading look “Will the castle’s rights be returned to me once the threat is over?”

Jonathan shook his head “I took over the castle and it now belongs to me. It has been granted to me and the Parliament. You have nothing, lord Kane. No estate, no fortune, no authority here. What happens to you lays solely to mine and my commanders’ decision”

Patrick was devastated. He had fought tooth and nail for so long; he had sacrificed every chance he ever had to be what he always desired as to keep the castle safe for himself and his sisters.

 “Are you trying to say that the castle is now your ownership?” his voice was shaky “Am I?”

“The castle belongs to the Parliamentarians” Jonathan’s voice was so calm that Patrick had the urge to punch him “but I will petition to be allowed to command it. It was promised to me, after all, just like you were.”

“I can see through your hypocritical ‘request’! You’re already determined to undermine my castle and my family’s future. It’s unreal! I have exchanged a besieged fortress with a castle under siege! I am a prisoner in my own house. My sister’s have been left with nothing! What kind of person does that?”

Jonathan didn’t say a word. Patrick hid his flaming face between his palms. He was blinded by rage. He cursed Jonathan and himself for ever believing that his victory would have set Patrick free. He felt foolish.

“I will never accept that” he whispered.

Jonathan approached him. “I’m sorry to hear that”

“You do understand that I will never consent to the annexation of this place, right?” he asked coldly “I will fight you till the end”

Jonathan smiled “Then we are set for a tough battle, lord Patrick. And I’m afraid the first thing you need to be aware of is that from this moment on you’re under house arrest. For your safety and various other reasons.”

Patrick made a sound of disgust “You took no time in imposing your power, my lord! I at least thought we’d be free to go where we please now that the battle has ceased.”

Jonathan shook his head once again “It’s too dangerous. There are a few who had managed to escape, the colonel is on the run; until we find them and arrest them it’s dangerous for anyone to go passed the castle walls.”

“It’s because you don’t trust me” replied angrily “You think that once you turn your back I will run to help the King”

Jonathan chuckled “Wouldn’t you? You have already refused to buckle to Parliament’s control. It would be foolish of me to trust you even a little”

“I hope the King sends troops to regain the castle’s control…”

Jonathan cut in “There’s no chance that happening. Better abandon those hopes.”

The King had the chance to help them during the siege and he had not done so. The scale was leaning in favor of the Parliament. King Sharp had suffered severe losses. He was now fighting for his kingdom and his survival, he would sacrifice Patrick’s castle if he needed to. Deep down Patrick was aware of that. He was completely and utterly alone.

He turned away so as not to give Jonathan the satisfaction of witnessing his misery.

“Well, you’ll never find the Colonel! He’s probably already on his way to the Capitol.” Patrick said, more to hide his feelings than anything.

Jonathan went to him and grabbed his arm, turning him around “Had he told you about his plan to flee?” he growled

“Of course not!” he replied hastily “After repeatedly turning down his advances he finally decided I was not worth the trouble. He did try to burn me alive, after all”

Jonathan studied him for a while and then nodded. He took away his hand and Patrick rubbed the sore spot.

“I was just speculating in regards to the colonel. Since he fled immediately I assumed he was seeking a safe refuge. Maybe try and plead his case with the King, give another version of the story King Sharp had heard”

“From you, perhaps, my lord?” Jonathan said sullenly “I can imagine what you think of him”

“I would like to write to the King if I am allowed to do so, my lord” Patrick bowed his head mock-obediently “I would like to reassure the King that my sisters and I are safe and sound. With your permission, of course.”

“Of course” replied Jonathan

“If I submit my mail to you first…”

“Of course” he repeated, tone sleekly “I am sorry, but I will have to thoroughly read all you correspondence”

“I doubt you’re sorry!” he said staring angrily at him. He stormed to the other end of the room, as far away from Jonathan as it was possible. He felt the room suffocating him. He was trying hard not to cry.

“What about my sisters, my lord? What about me? What will happen to us?” he asked “You said you’ve already requested to be allowed to command the castle. Are you planning on sending my sisters away and marrying me to someone to get me out of the way and have legal power over our fortune?”

“No” he answered “I will take the castle and you”

Patrick felt his cheeks heat up. He remembered the way he had held him the night he visited his camp. His lust was evident as was Patrick’s. He should hate him. Every fiber of his being loathed him for what he was doing, but a deeper, treacherous, powerful part of him desired him. He had never stopped wanted him, he realised. From the first moment he saw him, he was his.

He pushed that terrifying thought away “Never!”

Jonathan walked slowly towards him, his footsteps dragging and calculative. Unconsciously, Patrick retreated towards the window.

“I do not expect you to fall in to my arms” he said softly “someone who fights for his freedom pointing my own sword against me, won’t let me take his fortune- or himself- with no resistance”

Patrick lifted his chin fiercely “I’m warning you, my lord. I will do everything I can to be rid of you”

Jonathan smiled and the corners of his eyes crinkled. Goosebumps rose under Patrick’s skin. He knew he had just challenged him and Jonathan had accepted that challenge.

“I believe you, my lord” he answered “and I will be on guard”. He took a step closer and cornered Patrick against the window shield. Patrick gasped.

“Do not step any closer…” his voice sounded weak even to his own ears. Jonathan took another step until he was flat against him; chest to chest, fabric against fabric;

  “How far are you willing to go to be rid of me?” he asked flatly “Would you kill me?”

“Why not?” asked Patrick breathlessly, this close proximity to Jonathan threw him off, they way he was staring at him made his insides twist. “You are my enemy. That can’t be changed”

“Do we have to be enemies?” Jonathan leaned closer. Patrick felt his breath caressing his face. It made him tremble.

“I saved your life” Jonathan continued “You owe me something for that”

“You saved my life and now you’re depriving me of my family’s future” he said as icily as he could master “I owe you nothing.”

He saw a flash cross his eyes “We weren’t always enemies. When I came here to ask for your hand…”

“That was four years ago” Patrick interrupted him “Everything’s changed now” he said trying not to allow himself the sweet memory.

“Yet, the night you came to my quarters” Jonathan insisted “I held you in my arms and for those moments I swear you didn’t think me as an enemy”

Patrick’s heart was pounding “That happened because…” his voice faded. His mouth was dry. The memories were flashing before his eyes, how right it had felt to be held by him-but it was so wrong.

“I wanted you, Patrick Kane” Jonathan said “I still want you. And you want me as well. There are more things between us than hostility. There always were.”

“No!” he shouted crossing his hands in his chest protectively.

“You’re lying” Jonathan accused.

He finally took a step back and Patrick felt himself able to breathe again.

“Circumstances had made me the castle’s overlord and no one would blame me for taking its Lord as well”

“Not in a million years!” Patrick exclaimed

Jonathan smirked “We’ll see about that”

“I can’t decide if you just asked me to marry you or become your paramour” Patrick said “but I assure you I will not legitimize the theft of my castle by agreeing to marry you!”

Jonathan burst into laughter. His dark eyes sparkled defiantly “So, you would consider being my lover?”

Patrick looked at him with contempt “That is even more unlikely” he took a deep breath “Your arrogance is stunning, lord Toews. If we are finished here, I would like to go”

Jonathan shook his head “We are not finished yet” he put his hands in his pockets and his tone completely changed “I have one more thing to ask of you. I want to know where the King’s treasure is”.

 

 


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There's a slight description of Brandon being tortured in this chapter. It's just a few sentences, I just felt I should warn about it. All lies obviously! Who would ever wanna harm Bollig?  
> Also, Gags is being vilified beyond repair. (does that warrant a warning?)
> 
> beta'd by Shelby18.

 

Jonathan hadn’t mentioned the treasure before and it took Patrick by surprise. He was sure it was a deliberate move to catch Patrick off guard and gnawn on his reaction, force him to make a mistake and give himself away.

There was no way for Patrick to mislead him, feign innocence or ignorance, he was aware of that. But King Sharp’s and his father’s words alike echoed in his mind “ _Guard the treasure. Keep the secret. Don’t tell anyone; don’t trust anyone_ ”

“Well, my lord?” Jonathan asked calmly

“I have nothing to tell you” he replied.

Jonathan raised his eyebrow questioning “You have nothing to say or you just don’t _want_ to?”

Patrick remained silent.

“Let me tell you a story” Jonathan said eyes boring into Patrick “and then you’ll get the chance to tell me if it’s true or false”

Patrick took a seat knowing it was something he couldn’t avoid

“A week before the Colonel came to the castle we received news that King Sharp had been waiting the arrival of a valuable cargo. The treasure was being sent by the King’s supporters from the West to the Capitol. We immediately sent a task force to poach it and we attacked the King’s troops near the river bank but the treasure was not found.”

He looked for Patrick’s reaction; Patrick remained expressionless. He was aware of the story.

“They fought harder than I’ve ever seen. They were determined to die than be captured alive and be forced to reveal where the treasure was. Five men were killed, the rest got away. We’re not sure, but we suspect a small task force deducted, came to the castle and entrusted the treasure to your father”

Jonathan stopped. He waited. Patrick did not speak.

Jonathan sighed. “I believe your father spoke to you about the treasure, when he realised he was dying. And you, lord Patrick, and your trusted servants are the only ones who know where that treasure is”.

Silence spread in the room. Patrick clenched his hands. He was sweating, not feeling well. He knew that this was only the beginning. Jonathan was cunning and ruthless, he was going to interrogate him non stop, waiting patiently for him to make a mistake and give him the answer he was looking for. Meanwhile, he had to think of a way to return the treasure to the King and save the lives of the people involved.

“Do you deny it?” Jonathan asked?

“I cannot help you” Patrick replied. He tried to make himself relax. Jonathan could ask and he could continue to refuse and they would continue this game to the end. Only he was afraid that sooner or later Jonathan would understand that Patrick was lying to him.

Jonathan stood up “I will give you a few days to think about it” he said and Patrick read the threat under his tone “If you remember something that could be useful…” he left his sentence unfinished.

Silence arose once more.

“I doubt that my memory will improve any time soon” Patrick finally said.

“Then I doubt that your situation will improve in the near future” he replied shaking his head “Come on, lord Patrick, be practical. What do you have to gain by opposing me? You are my captive and your situation will improve quicker if you reveal your secrets instead of resisting me.”

Patrick puckered his lips “I have nothing to tell you”

“I believe you do. If you regain your memory and decide to talk to me, I will be at your disposal at any time.”

He walked towards the door “I will keep a close eye on you” he added “Something tells me you know more than you let on. We both know the King trusts you unconditionally and held your father highly. He’d rather entrust you with his secrets than the Colonel” he paused “I would give anything to know those secrets”

Patrick turned his head but did not speak. His nerves were frazzled.

“I want three things” Jonathan said “the castle, the King’s treasure, and you, lord Patrick; I intent to get all three of them” he said closing the door behind him.

 

*

 

That same afternoon, Patrick, Tyler and Andrew watched Lord Toews’ men turn the castle upside down to find the treasure. Cellars, barns, storages…nothing was left untouched. In the church the upset priest accused them of being sacrilegious heathens. In the kitchens, the cook went into a frenzy throwing flour and dough to their faces when the soldiers broke the dishware. In the stable, a horse bit them.

The soldiers were meticulous in their search, resulting in them getting filthy in a small amount of time. Andrew had a laughing fit when he watched them exit the barn dirty, covered in hay, sweaty and irritated.

“At least Lord Toews does not send his men do a work he is not willing to do himself” said Tyler watching Jonathan in the yard with private Saad. “Some commanders do not like to get their hands dirty.”

Patrick took in Jonathan’s state and was filled with satisfaction seeing him all mucky “His uniform was so neat this morning” he said not being able to contain his childish glee “The laundry room is going to be busy”

“And to think” Tyler said side-eyeing him “that you could have spared him from all this trouble”

Patrick glanced at the door. He knew there was a guard there; having him locked in was not enough for Lord Toews.

“Shut your mouth!” he said “Someone might hear you”

Tyler elbowed him in the ribs playfully “You have to agree though Patrick that the lord is a very well built man” he whispered

Patrick hummed. Of course he had noticed, but he was not about to share that with Tyler. He took a look at Jonathan, saw him laughing with Saad as the young soldier was pointing to the barn, Toews’ captains exiting, later than everyone else Patrick noticed, all tousled, trying to make themselves presentable and failing.  

Patrick couldn’t take his eyes off of Jonathan. Seeing him wholeheartedly laugh, be playful and teasing with his friends, it was like he was a whole other person. The night of their engagement came to Patrick’s mind. How Patrick had stepped on his toes as they were dancing and instead of apologizing he had said cheekily ‘ _I’m a fighter not a dancer’_ and Jonathan had cracked up. Once again, his memories upset him.

“What a delightful, handsome man” Tyler said slyly.

“You’re an idiot” Patrick said, not liking Tyler’s sudden admiration for lord Toews “You forget that Lord Toews is nothing but a turncoat who’s betraying the King”

He was getting ready to step away from the window, when Jonathan looked up and gave Patrick a military salute. He grinned widely, like he was admitting his defeat. His smile was so real and spontaneous, that Patrick felt himself smiling back.

Jonathan said something to Private Saad and headed towards the stairs.

“He’s coming” Tyler said

“I hope not” Patrick replied “There’s no way he would come looking like that” but his heart was thumping nonetheless.

A heartbeat later there was a knock on the door and the guard escorted Jonathan in the room.

“You are a little blowzy, my lord. Not proper attire for a visit” Patrick said trying to sound like he was looking down at him. He didn’t exactly smell like the stable, but it didn’t hurt for Patrick to imply that. He was trying hard to detach himself, build a wall around and keep Jonathan and his feelings for him out.

Jonathan seemed unfazed, instead he chuckled “I apologize, my lord, but I came at once to inform you that our search is done for the moment”

Patrick just hummed.

“We didn’t find anything” he added.

Patrick found the whole thing amusing “Really? I’m sorry to hear that” he said “though, I did warn you, my lord, that your search would be in vain”.

“Indeed” Jonathan agreed “Your words were confirmed”. He paused. “But we still haven’t searched your room”. He searched the room with his gaze, cataloguing the places where the treasure might be. “With your permission, my lord”

Patrick’s jollity disappeared instantly “You do not have my permission! This is absurd!”

Jonathan didn’t budge “Without your permission then. Saad, Smith…search the lord’s room…” he looked at Patrick “just be careful”

Andrew went up to Patrick and rested his hand on his shoulder trying to provide some kind of comfort. They stood there watching, as Jonathan’s men were emptying the chests and the drawers, searching under his bed and delving into the linen closet. He was observing Jonathan as well. He did not try to help on the search. His attention was focused on Patrick, waiting for some kind of clue, something that would give Patrick away. Patrick stood still as he watched the soldiers go through his personal belongings. He knew they wouldn’t find a thing and that was a consolation. Jonathan Toews had lost a battle, but he knew that the war was just only beginning.

One of the soldiers yelled, grabbed a handful of jewels from a small chest and held them up for the others to see.

“Those were my mothers” Patrick said angrily “They are _not_ the King’s treasure.” He turned to Jonathan “Those belong to my sisters. You wouldn’t take them away from them, would you, Lord Toews? Unless you’re a looter, who would steal them by claiming they’re not ours.”

Jonathan raised his brow “ _You_ claim that the jewellery belong to you, lord Kane. They could as well have been a part of the artefacts meant for the King. I’m surprised you haven’t already donated them to your cause. This unwillingness shows lack of commitment”

“Don’t lecture me about commitment!” Patrick spat out. He knew that Jonathan was just trying to get a rise out of him but he just couldn’t contain himself. “I have done my duty” he continued huffishly “the King is aware that my devotion to him is unwavering…” he stopped, suddenly aware he was about to give himself away.

Jonathan’s eyes flashed “Is that so? I would really like to know in which way you fulfilled your duty to your King”

“I don’t doubt that you would” Patrick answered and turned his back on him “Are we done, my lord?”

Jonathan took a quick glance around the room “For now”. He waved his soldiers away and left.

Tyler sighed relieved. “He is going to find out, Pat” he predicted “Mark my words. Jonathan Toews is very cunning”

“No, he won’t” Patrick said petulantly, trying to control his shaking hands. He went to Andrew who was sitting by the bed, folding the clothes the soldiers had taken out.

“Do you really believe he won’t discover the truth, Pat?” Andrew asked

“He’ll never guess” he insisted “He’s looking in the wrong places for the wrong things”. He smiled “Lord Toews thinks that the treasure is silver or gold. He doesn’t realise that sometimes, some things, are more valuable than money. He has already seen the King’s treasure; he just doesn’t know it”.

 

*

 

That same evening, Jonathan went to talk to his brother. Brandon was still weak and bedridden. Jonathan was waiting all day for a chance to talk to his brother alone, get some more information of what had happened while Brandon was a captive. He had already started trailing after the Colonel but the search so far had been futile.

He was still lost in his thoughts when he knocked on his brother’s door and barely heard Brandon telling him to enter. He went in and found Andrew sitting on the bed next to Brandon. They were laughing at something and Jonathan noticed it was the first time he had seen Andrew smile since he came to the castle.

When Andrew saw him, he stood up hastily and left the room mumbling a quiet apology. Jonathan sighed. It seemed that in the presence of his brother Andrew could forget that they were at enemy camps, but he, being the castle’s conqueror, was the civil war personified. Many others avoided him the same way. Their loyalty to the King was not negotiable. The only thing he could maybe expect to gain was their respect but it would be a slow process if it even happened. He knew they had suffered under the colonel’s command. They had thought of him as an ally at first and were now afraid that the new regime will show its cruel face as well. It would take time to make them trust him.

He sat on the chair next to the bed and shuffled the book he found there. He remembered that Brandon wanted to become a poet when he was younger and he had joked once that he was on the wrong camp, as the royalist were said to be writing sonnets between battles.

“Sir Andrew is doing everything he can to entertain you” he commented “Every time I come to visit you, he is always here”

Brandon’s cheeks turned a little pink, making him younger than he was. He was a little nervous too; he was afraid he would be chastised by his brother for keeping company with the enemy.

“He is incredible” Brandon answered “I owe him so much”

Jonathan raised his brow questioning “Enough to forget he is a Royalist?”

Brandon cringed and averted his gaze “I do not forget it, Jonathan, we just don’t talk about it”

Jonathan didn’t answer immediately. He remembered the rift with their father; this was different in so many levels, but he could understand why they avoided the matter. They knew that if they opened that door, there was no way they could go back and ignore it. That’s why they guarded their relationship for the time being, because they knew they would eventually have to choose between love and duty. That reminded of his feelings for Patrick and he felt the pain of loss instantly. He knew things couldn’t get back to the way they were before the war.

“You said you owe him your life” he said “Did he take care of you when you were in a bad shape? Something like that could inspire some gratitude to a man…amongst other things.”

Brandon nodded. He fumbled with the bed covers trying hard not to look at his brother. When they were kids, Brandon always avoided telling Jonathan anything bad till he had no other choice.

“Well” Jonathan said calmly “your message said you had something important to tell me. What was it?”

“Yes” Brandon said pausing “I asked you to come for that very same reason…gratitude” He paused again and then continued “Damn it! I’m stammering like a little kid”. He sat up and looked Jonathan in the eyes “There’s something I haven’t told you and I feel like I should, but it has nothing to do with Andrew. It’s about Patrick.”

Jonathan waited.

“Andrew didn’t save my life” he said passionately “At least not at first. Patrick was the one who rescued me from the Colonel’s fury”

Jonathan frowned “But I thought that…” he stopped as Brandon was shaking his head negatively.

“I understand what you have to do here, Jonathan” Brandon said “believe me, I understand this better than anyone. You have to secure the castle and find the King’s treasure. I know that makes you Patrick’s enemy, but…” he made a quick pause “You have to know that if it wasn’t for him, the colonel would have killed me.”

Jonathan felt the hatred enveloping him “Tell me” he said quietly

“Patrick saved me as the colonel was about to brand me with a hot iron” he said simply

Jonathan was shocked; he felt his insides turn upside down “With a hot iron? He wanted to brand you?”

“Yes. He wanted to mark me with his sigil, he was bragging that he would show everyone a Parliamentarian branded as a slave”

Jonathan squeezed his hands so tightly, his knuckles turned white.

“The night they captured me, Gagner ordered to have me dragged into the dungeon. He was drunk; delighted that he had forced you to attack and wanted to celebrate it by torturing me. He made some servants, his men, and even their harlot’s watch; share his fun with them” he swallowed nervously “It wasn’t pleasant. My hands and feet were cuffed and I could not escape the whip. I knew he wanted to humiliate me. Then, as I told you, they brought an iron sigil, fresh from the fire”

Jonathan jumped of his seat “That it the most disgusting, brutal thing I’ve ever heard”

“They were frantic from the excitement and the alcohol” Brandon said “Gagner more than everyone. He even kicked me when I was down, folded in half. He knew it was not possible for him to fight me as an equal, so he took advantage of the situation. That was when I knew I wouldn’t survive. The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was him holding the hot iron, waving it towards me” he paused and shook his head as to rid himself of the memory “That’s when _he_ came. One moment I was sweating, the next I felt a gash of air when the door opened and I heard footsteps approaching. Everyone held their breath.”

He stopped and coughed a couple of times “His voice was filled with so much anger, sharper than a sword ‘ _What do you think you’re doing?’_ he said and I swear that Gagner shrunk like the devil in front of a crucifix.”

Jonathan gnashed. He remembered how upset Patrick had been the night he visited his camp to inform him that Brandon was alive. He hadn’t mentioned that his courage was the only reason his brother hadn’t died. He imagined how terrified he must have been, still risking everything to help him. He wasn’t there to save his brother – Patrick was.

“Then what happened?” he asked

“No one dared to speak” Brandon said “The Colonel started to yell and whip the walls but despite all that violence, I knew I was saved. Before I knew it, Andrew was there too, both barking orders to have me moved to the tower. The Colonel was yelling for them to take me back to the dungeon but they defied him. Patrick said something about the King and Gagner didn’t dare do anything else.”

Jonathan had driven his fingers so deep into his palms they were starting to bleed a little. He though about his brother suffering, helpless and alone; he thought about Patrick, defenceless yet courageous enough to stand up to the Colonel to save his castle, his people, Brandon’s life. He felt his chest swell with pride.

“I’m deeply indebted to him” he said glumly “He didn’t tell me”

“He’d never tell you” Brandon said “I’d doubt he would ever talk about it”

“No” Jonathan agreed “He never would”. He looked at his brother again “Why didn’t you tell me about it when we first met, Brandon?”

Brandon’s face flushed “I was ashamed” he simply said “I was powerless and he…” he sighed “…he had no one to stand up for him, yet he saved me”

Jonathan shook his head. He felt the guilt surround him. Patrick turned into something fierce when justice and lives were at stake; he would do anything to save his castle and his people, even while having no one to lean on, and Jonathan was determined to take everything he loved away from him.

“That is why, though I do understand your duty” Brandon said looking his brother straight in the eyes “I beg you not to ask me to do anything that might harm Patrick, because I would have to refuse you. And I ask you not to hurt him. You owe him so much”.

Jonathan smiled “You’re torn” he observed “and I’m sorry about that”

Brandon shrugged “I am loyal to you, Jonathan. I always was and I will always be. I support the Parliament and its fight and I have taken an oath to support you. But when it comes to the castle, I cannot help you”

Jonathan pinched the bridge of his nose. He understood Brandon’s problem, it wasn’t all that much different from his own. He was the one who had taken the castle away from Patrick. Patrick had saved his brother’s life and Jonathan repaid him by causing him misery.

“I respect your feelings” he replied “I’m so indebted to Patrick but I cannot return the castle to his care. Even if I wanted to, Hossa and Richards would never agree”.

“Are you sure about that?” Brandon questioned

Jonathan nodded “The castle is a valuable asset and very important strategically wise. Now that it’s in the hands of the Parliament, they won’t want to hand it over to the Royalists without a fight”.

Brandon frowned “And what about Patrick?”

Jonathan twitched in his seat “I will marry him. I intent to keep the land on behalf of the Parliament, and its Lord…for myself”.

Brandon made a weird sound between a chuckle and a groan “Are you going to marry him out of guilt, Jonathan, for taking his heritage away from him?”

Jonathan shook his head negatively “The castle was promised to me once before. I’ve never hidden my intention of marrying Patrick” he paused “I want him in my bed. If I marry him, I will have what I desire.”

He leaned back on his chair and closed his eyes. His body ached from exhaustion. He wanted to sleep but lately his dreams were haunted, not by battles and massacres, but by Patrick. He hadn’t stopped thinking about him since that night in his camp. He couldn’t even if he wanted to. He desired him in such way it made him twitch and turn in his bed, unable to sleep. He wanted him and he would get him.

“You know that Patrick will never consent, Jonathan. Things are different than before. He is loyal to the King now. He will never betray him by marrying a Parliamentarian”.

“I know” Jonathan said smiling absentmindedly “It’s more likely for Hell to freeze over than Patrick agreeing” he said “Nevertheless, I will marry him”

“You would force someone to marry you against their will, Jonathan?”

There was a long pause. Jonathan was scratching the wooden floor with the tip of his boot. Would he force Patrick to marry him? He had never forced anyone to be with him against their will before. But Patrick made him irrational. He was used to making decisions based on logic, not carried away by feelings. Patrick had changed that.

“Yes” he said quietly “I would marry him by force.”

 

*

 

 Jonathan walked towards Patrick’s room and sent the guard away for a while before knocking on the door.

Tyler opened the door raising his eyebrows questioning “My Lord!” he said “Lord Patrick is getting ready for bed. Can’t this wait until morning?”

“It will only take a minute” Jonathan answered and pushed the door open “If you don’t mind…”

Tyler gave him a side look but got out of his way.

He found Patrick sitting by the fire, face buried in a book, tousling his hair absentmindedly. Jonathan wished he could bury his fingers in them, feel their silkiness once more.

“Good evening, my lord” Patrick said coldly “Do you make a habit of barging in people’s bedrooms at this late hour?”

Jonathan coughed “Never before I met you, lord Patrick” he answered.

A faint smile reached his lips “What is so important it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

Jonathan hesitated. Truth was there was no haste. The only thing he knew, since he talked to Brandon, was that he had to see Patrick right away. He wanted to thank him, express his gratitude. He also wanted to know how he had felt when he faced the Colonel.

“I was with Brandon a while ago” he said slowly “and I felt the need to talk to you”

A flash of surprise crossed Patrick’s face “Does it have to do with Andrew?”

Jonathan was taken by surprise. He hadn’t thought that besides his sisters’ care, Patrick might have felt somewhat responsible for his cousin as well. He knew that the Count had taken Andrew under his protection when his father died; it didn’t occur to him that now that the Count was dead Patrick would have to shoulder that responsibility as well.

“You have nothing to worry about in regards to Brandon” he answered “he is an honourable man”

Patrick frowned “I don’t know if that reassures me, my lord. Brandon is not a suitable match for my cousin. He is a Parliamentarian without a fortune. I cannot condone that and give my consent”

Jonathan laughed “Brandon may not be a Toews by blood, and he may not have a castle, but he has a land of his own; my father made sure of that. And even if he didn’t, he’s young, competent and determined; he would have found a way, he always does. Even if you are opposed, he will still take what he wants”

Patrick stared at him sullenly “Is that what you came here to tell me, my lord?” he said, voice ice cold “That, just like yourself, your brother is a pirate who’s here to scrounge whatever he likes?”

Jonathan breathed deeply “No” he said “I didn’t come here to talk about that. I came to thank you. I am indebted to you.”

“How come?” Patrick wondered

“The night you came to my quarters” he said softly “you said that if I overtook the castle by force it would kill Brandon, along with all the others. I asked you if you cared and you told me that you love him like a brother.”

Patrick was staring at him “So what?”

“What you did not tell me” he answered gently “was that you had already saved his life once before. You saved him from the Colonel’s tortures. He told me today.”

Patrick stared at him intensely “Brandon told you that?” he asked surprised.

“What did you expect?; That he wouldn’t tell me?”

“No, I just…” he stammered “I didn’t know he was aware of what was happening. He was in a really bad shape. I thought…I hoped…that he wouldn’t remember anything from that night”

“Oh, he remembers all right” Jonathan said bitterly. He doubted that his brother could ever forget that horror.

“Then I’m terribly sorry” Patrick said “It must be really hard on him to have those memories”

Jonathan saw the compassion and care in his eyes and realising that, Patrick turned his head away.

“It was very nice of you to help Brandon” Jonathan said softly “And very dangerous. Gagner could have caused you a great damage”

“And what was I supposed to do?” he whispered “Sometimes you just can’t cut your ties with the past. The only thing I knew was that I loved your father dearly and I couldn’t let the colonel kill his son in cold blood” he swallowed nervously “That night Andrew came to me in tears. He was already falling for him. He had heard what they were planning to do to your brother. What was I supposed to say to him? That I did not care? That we are on the King’s side and we can’t stand up to Gagner?” his voice cracked “Stand by the door and pretend not to hear anything?”

“So you decided to intervene” Jonathan said touching Patrick’s hand. He was angry; angry at him for taking such a risk, angry at himself for allowing Brandon to be in a life risking situation and even angrier at Gagner for the satisfaction he got from terrorizing others. On the other hand, he felt such protectiveness towards Patrick and that bothered him; it bothered him more than the lust he felt for him.

“It was reckless” he said harshly “he could have hurt you too”

“There was no one else that could help Brandon” Patrick simply stated “When another man’s life is at stake, it would be heartless to see him as an enemy and abandon him”

Jonathan looked at his bowed head, his shoulders that crumbled under the weight of the responsibilities “You don’t have to be alone anymore” he said.

Patrick lifted his head and stared at him “There is no other way”

“Trust me. Let me help you”.

He saw him close his eyelids in despair “I can’t” he answered honestly and Jonathan knew he meant it. Until the issue was resolved, they were trapped in a conflict without respite. His logic was aware of that; his instinct told him, passionately, that such inhibitions did not matter when he was so keen to protect him against all harm. Feeling that way worried him. The fact that he desired Patrick was simple and understandable. It was lust. But his desire to shield him from hurt was something completely different.

He took Patrick’s dagger out of his pocket. “You left this behind the night you came to see me” he said handing it towards Patrick “If you really believe I am your enemy, take it and strike”

Patrick’s eyes widened in shock; He made no move to take it “Are you daring me to stab you?”

“Yes” Jonathan said simply “You claim I am your enemy. I have taken your fortune. I’m your political opponent. You saved my brothers life yet I insist on taking away your freedom and your land. Do it now and be rid of this strife once and for all.”

Patrick eyed him suspiciously “It’s a trick” he said

“No trick” he answered and showed him his palms “I am unarmed. We are alone. Take the dagger…if you dare”

His challenge was clear. He saw the anger light Patrick’s eyes, he saw him reaching for the dagger and couldn’t help but wonder if he had miscalculated the situation. Suddenly, Patrick turned his back on him.

“You are kidding” he said over his shoulder “If I tried it, you’d disarm me in an instant”

Jonathan grabbed his wrist and turned him towards him. “You’re hiding behind these excuses. The simple truth is that you do not dare strike, because deep inside you know you care about me. You said so yourself when you described how you saved Brandon’s life. You cannot cut your ties with the past.”

Patrick was furious “That was different!” He tried to get his hand free but Jonathan just gripped him tighter. He could feel Patrick’s pulse thump underneath his fingertips. “I’m not afraid to do it!” he spat out.

Jonathan smirked daringly “What are you waiting for?”

He felt him shake “If I killed you, every Parliamentarian would grab the chance to take my head off. I have my sisters to think about” he answered “You’re just trying to trick me, Lord Toews.”

“I’m trying to prove to you that you’d never do it. You might hate my beliefs, but you don’t hate me, Patrick. Admit it.”

He saw the conflict in his eyes. Patrick wanted to hate him; he hated everything he stood for, but he could not take the dagger and kill him.

Jonathan loosened his grip and just held his hand gently. “You see?” he said “You will have me. You will sign the treaty conceding the castle to the Parliamentarians.”

Patrick’s free fist, which landed on Jonathan’s jaw, spoke volumes. Instinctively, Jonathan let him go rubbed his chin. Patrick then, grabbed the dagger and pointed to his neck.

“Get out!” he screamed “Do not provoke me any further, or I will stab you in the throat”

Jonathan couldn’t help the proud smile that spread on his face “My lord…” he said and bowed as much as his position allowed.

“Get out” Patrick repeated “When time comes, I will have my revenge.”

As Jonathan shut the door, he heard the dagger being nailed on the wood behind his back.

 


	7. chapter 6

 

Patrick was in his room. He had sent Andrew and Tyler away, wanting to be alone.

It was the night of his father’s wake. He had spent all afternoon trying to comfort his sisters, explain to them why the three little girls could not be there to say goodbye to their father. He had held them and petted their hair, let them cry on his shoulder and cling to him until they fell asleep. He suddenly realised his father’s insistence on not allowing Patrick to be like all men his position and age would. He understood why being a warrior, going to war and fight was not an option for him. He had always resented his father for that. But being curled up in a bed with three little girls who had no one but Patrick to depend on, everything made sense.

His father had not thought of him weak and incapable, quite the opposite. He had trusted Patrick enough to appoint him his sisters’ guardian, believed that he could raise them the way they deserved and provide for them. He should have been content in knowing that his father though highly of him. Instead his heart bled for the disappointment his father would have felt if he could see him now; A captive in a castle that was no longer his, unable to built a secure future for his family.

Patrick blinked his tears away, took a deep breath and left the room. The guard, for the first time ever, was not there. Jonathan Toews stood in his place. Their eyes met.

Patrick knew that for that one night a silent truce had been made. Jonathan bowed. Instead of his uniform, he was dressed in all black, which was a good look on him.

“Good evening, my lord. Are you ready?”

“As ready as I can be” Patrick answered and accepted the arm that Jonathan offered him. He wanted to take his hand, squeeze it, feel the strength and certainty that Jonathan radiated. He did no such thing.

They walked down the stairs silently. When they reach the hall Jonathan let go of him. Patrick gave him a questioning look.

“You are the castle’s Lord tonight. You will enter the way it suits your position”

Patrick was unable to find words. He accepted the gesture with a nod and a look he hoped conveyed his gratitude.

Patrick straightened himself up and entered. He found Jonathan’s men amongst his people, wearing the Toews colours, a room filled with black and red. For the first time since they had taken the castle Patrick didn’t feel like it was a demonstration of power, but rather a sign of respect.

Patrick took his seat at the head of the table “I would like to thank you all for coming to honour my father’s memory” he said “All these years, my father had valued your loyalty to him and he asked of you not to mourn his death but celebrate his life instead.”

He raised his glass “To the Count” he said “May God rest his soul”.

Everyone repeated the toast. Then someone raised his glass again and said “And to his son, Lord of our castle”. Everyone cheered and repeated the toast. Patrick smiled. Their loyalty touched him, made him feel less alone, even for just an instance. He looked around trying to find Jonathan. He saw him standing in a corner, leaving him to address the crowd, but Patrick gestured him to come over and take the seat next to him. He knew the gesture would be misinterpreted by many and even though parts of him rebelled to the idea, the truth was that Jonathan was the one who gave the orders now, so he had no other choice but civility and common courtesy.

The servants started serving dinner. Meat and treats, beer and wine; things the castle had a lack of during the siege.  

There was almost a slight sense of festivity going around the hall. Patrick figured it suited his father to be honoured as he had lived.

 

*

 

“You are going to make yourself sick. You need to eat something” Jonathan said handing a platter in front of Patrick.

“I don’t think I can” Patrick answered truthfully. He took a look at his half-empty glass “I would not have any more wine either. It would be foolish with an empty stomach”

Jonathan smiled at him warmly and covered Patrick’s cold fingers with his palm. “You are beyond brave. Your people are incredibly lucky to have you as their Lord.”

Patrick withdrew his hand and started playing with his food nervously “Then they better take advantage of their good luck, because it won’t last long. Isn’t that right, my lord?”

“You know what I think. The castle can be yours…”

“If I agree to become your husband or your paramour” Patrick continued his sentence, voice dripping sarcasm “I thank you, my lord, but you already know my opinion on the matter, as I do yours. That can never happen.”

Jonathan turned his head and proceeded talking with Andrew, who was sitting on his other side. Patrick, surprisingly, didn’t feel relieved; he felt disappointed.

Patrick looked around and was surprised to realise that what had been a wake, now resembled a wedding feast instead. His people had been deprived of food and drinks for months and it seemed they were trying to make up for the lost time. Patrick figured that his father would have liked it.

All of a sudden, a fight broke in one of the tables. One of Jonathan’s men tried to intervene. Punches were thrown and the soldier drew his sword. All hell broke loose after that. There was yelling and crying and fights that had no room outside the arena.

“How is there going to be peace on our castle if some come armed at a wake?” someone shouted “You should be ashamed of yourselves! Drop your weapons!”

Patrick stood up to try and end the feud. He should have told the servants not to serve so much alcohol. He was getting ready to shout for them to stop when he felt Jonathan grab his wrist to stop him.

Jonathan’s voice was loud and authoritative “I have promised to bring peace to this castle! Is there anyone who challenges my word?”

For a while, no one spoke. A villager stood up at last and said “Actions speak louder than words, my lord! We’ve heard enough promises.”

There was a sound of clinking steel and everyone held their breath as they watched Jonathan draw his sword.

Everyone froze, terrified. Patrick touched his arm and felt his muscles twitch from the tension. “My Lord, it’s not right…”

“No, my lord, I don’t intend to do something disrespectful” his expression changed as he turned to Patrick and smiled widely at him “Here is my oath in the memory of Count Kane. I vow to bring peace and prosperity to this land and its people”. He took a deep breath “I had once before promised my protection to this castle and its Lord. I will now swear the same”.

He turned his sword and reached the handle towards Patrick, in a sign of respect. Surprised gasped echoed in the hall.

Patrick looked at the blade and then at Jonathan who gave him a daring smile. All eyes were on Patrick. If he refused his gesture, it would be disrespect to his father’s memory and he would look ungrateful. On the other hand, accepting would be reckless, because he understood that Jonathan was offering him so much more than flattering words. His people knew that too. Jonathan Toews was offering protection and peace to a land that had suffered through war and losses. He was well-respected, valiant, just and candid. His people cared nothing for political feuds and rivalries between Royalists and Parliamentarians. Their allegiance laid with Count Kane and his family.

Patrick reached out and touched the handle. There were murmurs of surprise and hope. Patrick saw the satisfaction, the triumph in Jonathan’s eyes. Their eyes met and Patrick felt the shadows within part.

“You’re doing us a great honour, my Lord, offering us your protection” he said formally “But alas! We have sworn an oath of loyalty to the King, and we cannot accept.”

Cheers and hoots alike filled the hall “And where is the King in our time of need?” someone shouted “He left us here to rot! I say, to Hell with him!”

“That is treason!” Patrick said harshly. Everyone quieted down. Patrick knew he was walking on a tight rope. He had decided to be civil with Jonathan in public but no words or actions would force him to change sides. Even if his people didn’t care about that –and he knew that many were ready to support Jonathan and the Parliamentarians’ cause- _his_ loyalty was not for sale.

He saw Jonathan’s smile widen and his heart tightened “Lord Patrick, when you become my husband, you must be loyal to me”

Patrick squinted. He remembered his father telling him that Jonathan would ask him to marry him again and encouraging Patrick to accept, as Jonathan was kind and strong and they needed his protection. But Patrick was not going to, his father’s last wish or not, especially since Jonathan had just ambushed him proposing in public, if that was even considered as a proposal. Patrick felt like Jonathan had just informed him of a fact instead.

He carefully turned the sword and held it in front of Jonathan “You do me a great honour, Lord Toews. I’m sorry, but I will not accept your offer. And now, if you’ll excuse me…” he pushed his chair out of the way and walked towards the door.

He could hear the whispers behind his back. He could see from the corner of his eyes some disapproving glares, some sympathy as well.

He was walking towards his room when he heard footsteps behind him, which made him turn around. Jonathan was following him and he was catching up. Patrick did not speak. He quickened his pace but when he reached the stair that led to his room, Jonathan stretched his arm and blocked his way.

“Hold on a second, my lord”

“Lord Toews…” Patrick said in a steady voice “I am very tired; Also, perfectly capable of finding my own way to my room. You shouldn’t worry I would sneak out to count the King’s treasure tonight. So you can leave me alone and worry no longer.”

“Of course” Jonathan said with the same politeness he always did, but he could not conceal his natural imperiousness. “I merely wanted to ask your permission to visit you tomorrow, if you’re feeling well enough.”

“I’m just fine” Patrick snapped “But I don’t think there’s anything left for us to say.”

Jonathan gave him a crooked smile “I am deeply concerned for the future of this castle and its Lord” he said quietly “It is an issue that must be resolved.”

“You made that clear in the hall” Patrick replied “Do not worry; I won’t hold you to your promises, lord Toews. For my future, I’m depending on the King, not the Parliament.”

“I wouldn’t depend on the King for this matter if I were you” he said calmly “He was the one who betrothed you to the Colonel after all… In case you forgot.”

“I did not forget”

“I assure you I would be a better husband than the Colonel, and I suspect your people think so as well”

“My future is at stake here. I have to be very careful and choose wisely, no matter what my people think” Patrick said.

 He saw Jonathan smile “Their only wish is for you to be safe…and happy, my lord; And for your husband to be strong; capable enough to keep the castle safe.”

“It amazes me they think you’re capable enough for either” Patrick retorted “You’re the most dangerous man I have ever met”

“Accept my proposal” Jonathan said and Patrick knew that once more it was a challenge instead of a request “I’m offering you my protection. You said once that you would do anything to save your castle.”

Patrick glared at him “Tonight is my father’s wake” he said coldly “I will not discuss such matters”

“Then tomorrow; you need to decide. You saw what happened tonight. You can neither keep them united nor protect them. I can.”

“No, I won’t give in!” Patrick said “I will find another solution myself.”

“There is no other way” Jonathan insisted.

“It has to be!”

Jonathan punched the wall in frustration “What way? The King has abandoned you! You have no men to fight, no army. Your people already speak treason. If you want to help them, this is what is needed to be done.”

Patrick’s shoulders hunched “No” he muttered “It can’t be…”

Jonathan touched his arm lightly “At least with me you’ll get to have a passionate, fulfilling marriage, instead of a sham”. His mouth covered Patrick’s preventing him from speaking any further. Under the pressure of his lips Patrick half-opened his, allowing Jonathan’s tongue access to his mouth. His mind was screaming Jonathan was an enemy, his body betrayed him, leaning towards him, longing to feel Jonathan’s touch.

Jonathan broke the kiss “Surrender to me” he whispered his lips brushing Patrick’s hair. “You know you have no other choice”

“I know not such thing” Patrick said petulantly and tried to get away.

Jonathan held his face in his palms and starting peppering it with soft kisses; his brows, his nose, his cheek till he reached his neck. Patrick started shivering. Loyalty and want were battling inside him.

“I’m offering you the safety of my name. No one will be able to harm you or your family. No one will be able to take your land. You will be safe”

“I need neither your name nor your protection” Patrick mumbled. His resistance was beginning to bend. Despite his words, he did want his name and he did need his protection. He needed _him_.

“You need me” Jonathan echoed Patrick’s thoughts. “Your castle needs protection and you can’t do that on your own”.

He captured Patrick’s mouth once more, tangling their tongues, his thumb gently caressing Patrick’s cheek at the same time. Patrick melted into the kiss. He found himself ready to betray his oath, submit to Jonathan and let him conquer him like he did his castle.

“Say yes, because you want me” said Jonathan when he let go, voice rough and wanting “that’s the truth”

It was true indeed but Patrick’s stubbornness would never allow him to admit it. He pulled away “You may have gained some of my people’s support but it will take more than beautiful words and noble gestures for me to betray my loyalty to the King”

“You’re mine” Jonathan simply stated “You can’t deny it. You will marry me.”

Patrick shook his head “Oh, no, Lord Toews. You might have conquered my castle but you won’t have me.”

He dashed up the stairs to hide in his room before his weakness could take over and ask Jonathan to stay with him.

 

*

 

The next few days Patrick tried to keep himself busy. From the stables, to the kitchens, to the gardens, Patrick did everything he could to keep his mind occupied. No one questioned it, they knew Patrick needed it.

Jonathan hadn’t bothered him at all, making Patrick afraid of what that long silence might mean. He continued to look for the treasure, though, Patrick knew. That filled him with another kind of worry; How to keep the secret and how to find a way to return the treasure to the King. Obviously, him doing chores did nothing to stop his mind from thinking.

The only thing that made Patrick feel a little bit better was the fact that his sisters seemed to be getting their smiles back on their faces. They played in the gardens and slept better at nights.

That morning, a rare sunny winter day, Patrick decided to visit the church. He hadn’t been there in a long time.

“Hello father” Patrick greeted the priest “how are you?”

“As well as I can be with all these vandals tearing things apart” the priest grumbled “Just a couple of hours ago they were searching in the well. The well! As if anyone in their right mind would hide a treasure in there!”

Patrick smiled “Searching keeps them busy and out of our way. It’s not like they’ll find anything, anyway”

“Indeed” the priest agreed “Lord Toews seems like a nice man, but his soldiers are ridiculous!”

Patrick was getting a little sick of hearing his people praising Jonathan. He was starting to think they were conspiring into forcing him to accept Jonathan’s proposal.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Private Saad trying really hard to pretend like he wasn’t spying on them. Jonathan continued not to trust him, it seemed. He had allowed him some liberties in the castle but apparently he still thought Patrick would conspire with his people in regards to the treasure. He was right, of course, but that was not the point. Not that Patrick knew what the point was any longer. He just wished he could continue to mislead them about the nature and location of the treasure.

“I’m glad you came today” the priest whispered “I have a message for you. They left it in the usual place under the bridge. The messenger must have sneaked in during the night” he handed Patrick a bible and said a little louder “I hope you find some comfort in His words, my child”.

“Thank you, father” Patrick replied. He took the book and sat down in a way that his hands wouldn’t be visible. He found a parchment between the pages. “ _Within a month. Be careful. Guard the secret_.”  

Patrick’s heart raced. A month seemed like a long time. He didn’t know he would be able to keep the treasure safe for so long, but he couldn’t do anything else. Handing it to Jonathan was out of the question. He had to hide it no matter what.

He folded the note and hid it in his cloak wishing that Private Saad, who had just entered the church, hadn’t noticed.

Patrick glared at him “I think you maybe had enough of the church” he said flatly “I’m heading to the kitchens. If you’re going to follow me there too, they might give you something to eat. You must be hungry chasing after me”.

Saad blushed and Patrick felt sorry for him. It wasn’t fair to take his anger out to the soldier.

“I’m sorry my Lord” Saad said clumsily “but I have to take a look at the book the priest gave you”

Patrick sighed and handed over the book. Jonathan’s soldiers would spend hours trying to find hidden messages in there and that amused Patrick a little.

They were walking towards the kitchens side by side when Patrick heard a whistling sound and an arrow grazed Patrick’s cloak and landed on a tree trunk.

Saad yelled something from his side and pulled him in the ground by his wrist. Patrick’s head was spinning and he saw blood on his palms.

Another arrow landed a few feet away and a third bounced off the slabs and pierced Saad’s side. Patrick crawled near him and used his cloak to stop the bleeding. He looked towards the embrasures and saw a familiar figure there. Colonel Gagner had breached the castle’s defence.

Soldiers and men alike were running around the yard, others screaming and trying to find refuge, others raising their shields and drawing their swords. Patrick sighed with relief when he saw Andrew leading his sisters inside the castle while Jonathan was rushing towards him.

Jonathan kneeled next to him and grabbed his shirt by the hems, tearing the fabric to examine his wound.

“I’m not hurt!” Patrick yelled “It’s just a scratch. Take care of Private Saad. He’s severely injured”

Jonathan didn’t answer. His fingers traced the wound gently but when he tried to bandage it, Patrick let out a groan.

“You’re lucky” Jonathan said angrily when he heard it “It’s a nasty cut but it’s not that bad.”

“I told you so” Patrick replied and tried to stand up.

He stumbled and Jonathan wrapped his hand on his waist to support him. “Stay still” he growled “You’re bleeding”

“It’s nothing” Patrick insisted but leaned more of his weight into Jonathan “Gagner” he whispered “was at the embrasures. I saw him. He ran towards the moat”

Jonathan turned around and barked some orders to his soldiers, who scattered around as soon as he finished, rushing to obey his orders.

They brought a stretcher for Saad. Patrick watched them lay him there and take him away. He didn’t hide his tears this time “It’s all my fault” he said “Gagner wanted to kill me and killed Saad instead”

A muscle in Jonathan’s jaw twitched “Saad will live” he said sullenly and Patrick didn’t know if it was conviction or wishful thinking.

Jonathan pulled him closer and Patrick rested his head on his shoulder.

He heard someone shout from the embrasures “Two dead here, my lord!”

Patrick winced. He realised that the only way Gagner could have entered the castle was from the same secret passage Patrick had used the night he went to meet Jonathan. He had thought the Colonel was not aware of its existence. He thought he was the only one who knew of the secret passage. Either there was a traitor amongst them, Patrick thought, or Gagner knew about it all along. And if he knew that secret, did he know everything? Did he know about the King’s treasure?

Patrick tugged on Jonathan’s sleeve “My lord… Jonathan”

Jonathan looked at him questioningly.

“There’s a tunnel” he said hastily “It starts from the laundry room and leads to the moat. That’s how I got out when I came to see you” He saw Jonathan’s expression harden “Maybe Gagner knew about the passage. I could have sworn he didn’t…”

“I see” Jonathan said flatly

“I swear I did not tell him about it” He wanted Jonathan to know that. No, he wanted Jonathan to believe that. It was important to Patrick. He couldn’t have Jonathan believe he would be capable of such thing.

Jonathan kicked the bedroom door open and helped Patrick lie down, without even looking at him. He left without even saying goodbye.

Patrick turned and faced the wall, letting his tears fall. A while ago he would have been glad to see the Parliamentarians take such a blow. Jonathan was his enemy and he shouldn’t care how many men he could lose. But Patrick didn’t have it in him to not care.

He thought about Gagner. The only reason he had to be there was that he knew about the King’s treasure. He knew about it and wanted Patrick dead as to be able to take it.

 

*

 

The castle was quiet that night. The attack had shaken everyone and they had retreated to their rooms early. Patrick had sent Tyler to stay with the girls, figured it would make them feel safe.

His arm still hurt but he knew he had been lucky. He heard footsteps outside his door and he knew Jonathan was coming to see him. Jonathan looked so tired. He had a serious expression on his face but he didn’t seem angry; at least Patrick hoped he wasn’t. His enemy or not, he didn’t want Jonathan to hate him.

Jonathan walked towards him and Patrick stood up to meet him “I’m sorry” he said before Jonathan had a chance to even say hello “I’m really sorry about your men”

Jonathan took him by the hand and led him back to his seat “We’re at war, things like that happen” he said simply

Patrick shook his head “Gagner didn’t do it for the cause. He is now both of our enemy” he said “I was foolish. I didn’t think… When I kept the tunnel secret from you… I couldn’t have imagined…” he stammered, not knowing what the right words were to convince Jonathan he was telling the truth “I’m inexcusable”

Jonathan smiled a little “You don’t hide behind fake excuses. And you take responsibility over mistakes you haven’t even made. It’s one of the things I admire about you”

Patrick looked at him hopefully “Does that mean you don’t hate me then?”

“No, I don’t hate you” Jonathan said letting go of Patrick’s hand “but I did lose two good men”

Patrick nodded. He knew what Jonathan was trying to say. Such an unfair loss was not easily forgiven.

“You’re too hard on yourself” Jonathan continued “We found no trace of the Colonel in the tunnel. I suspect there’s another explanation. Someone inside the castle betrayed both our causes and let Gagner in.”

“No!”  Patrick said stubbornly “I don’t believe that!”

“Men are willing to do many things for a little gold”

“I know that; But not my people. They would never help him”

“You can’t know that”

Patrick stared at him. “I refuse to believe that” he didn’t want to think that someone in his castle would have betrayed him for money.

Jonathan didn’t answer. Patrick knew it was a matter of time before he asked who the people he entrusted his secrets with were. Andrew, Tyler and the priest were the only ones who knew about the tunnel and the treasure. He trusted them completely and he would defend them till his last breath.

“Why would he want to kill you?” Jonathan asked “He tried twice; I don’t understand”

Patrick shrugged “He has many reasons to hate me. I humiliated him in front of his men and he’s holding a grunge”

“You were engaged to him. You’re trying to tell me there was nothing between you but hate?” he asked taking Patrick’s hand in his once more.

“Things are not how you think. There was never an official engagement. Gagner wanted it, the King encouraged it, but I declined. Gagner told people we were because it was serving his purposes. For the same reason he spread the rumours of us being lovers, to convince people he had my trust and support. They were all lies”

“I’m glad” Jonathan said “Even if it means Gagner now hates you, I’m still glad.”

Patrick bit his bottom lip “The night I came to see you… I was afraid you’d think… What happened between us…I was afraid you’d believe that it was a way for me to get what I wanted. That’s what people think I did with the Colonel.”

“I never thought badly of you Patrick. Not for a moment” he said “I wouldn’t, even if it was true and you had slept with him” he paused “I wouldn’t have liked it” he admitted “but I wouldn’t have judged you”

“You asked me once if all men were afraid of me” Patrick said all of a sudden “Well, yes, they do. Gagner did. I once told him I would kill him if he laid a hand on me” he took a breath and continued “He was also afraid that my father would recover and hold him accountable for his actions; but most of all he was afraid of the King and my close relation to him. I think those are reasons enough, don’t you?”

Jonathan didn’t answer. “What I don’t understand” Patrick continued “was why he risked coming here. It was foolish”

“He wanted to give me a message” Jonathan said angrily “He wanted to invade the castle to show me that I haven’t won yet. He wanted to destroy everything I was trying to build”

Patrick didn’t know what to say to that. “He always had been a great shot” Patrick said rubbing at his sore arm “he used to train for hours”

“He used arrows because they’re more likely to hit their target from a distance. It was a smart choice from his part” Jonathan somewhat unwillingly admitted.

“I moved at the last minute” Patrick said “I was very lucky”. He stood up “I’m tired, I think I’ll go lie down now.”

Jonathan stood as well “I have doubled the guards outside your door. You don’t have to worry about anything”

“I would feel safer with a pistol under my pillow” Patrick replied “but your men took it so I wouldn’t use it against you”

Jonathan smiled “If you took me in your bed instead of your pistol, _I_ would protect you”

Patrick took a step towards him “I admit I don’t want to be alone” he said quietly “but Jonathan, you know I can’t…”

“You said you threatened Gagner to kill him if he laid a hand on you” Jonathan said “Would you have done it?”

“Yes” Patrick replied with no hesitation “I’d do it to anyone who’d touch me against my will”

“Would you kill me if I touched you?” Jonathan asked again, lowering his voice this time.

“You have already touched me”

“And I’m still alive”

“For the time being” Patrick said trying to cover the fact that he had just admitted wanting Jonathan’s touch “You’re awfully sure of yourself, Jonathan Toews. Keep in mind that we’re only allies when it comes to the Colonel”

Jonathan smirked “We’re much more than that. I’ll soon have you in my bed, Patrick. Don’t ever doubt that” he gently caressed Patrick’s cheek “Don’t keep me waiting long. I’m not a patient person.”

He bent a bit and left a quick kiss on Patrick’s lips and dashed out of the room.

 

*

 

Jonathan was sullenly reading the letter Patrick’s servant had brought to him. Patrick had asked permission earlier that day to write to the King. Jonathan couldn’t find anything suspicious at first glance

 

_I would like to inform your majesty that my sisters and myself are of good health, though still grieving our father’s passing. The Colonel's betrayal and his reprehensible actions condemn him and I would like to plead your majesty to hold him accountable for his crimes. Even if I’m gravely saddened that my castle is under the Parliamentarians command, I would like to reassure you we suffer no abuse by the occupational forces and I would also like to take this opportunity to inform your majesty that what you have entrusted us with is completely safe. I remain your most humble servant._

_Patrick Kane._

Jonathan pinched the bridge of his nose and refilled his glass with beer. His instinct told him there was something there.

_I would also like to take this opportunity to inform your majesty that what you have entrusted us with is completely safe_

That was the phrase. Patrick was telling the King that he hadn’t revealed any of his secrets and that the treasure was safe.

Jonathan frowned. He had searched the castle thoroughly. He hadn’t found any coins, gold or jewels that could be used for the King’s cause. But the treasure was still not found. It was a mystery.

He could force Patrick to tell him but he wasn’t one to use torture to gain information, let alone harm Patrick to get them. He just hoped that Patrick would trust him enough one day to reveal the truth to him willingly.

He snorted at the thought. He was probably kidding himself. He did believe that Patrick was close to trusting him, but the promise he had made to the King was still coming between them. Maybe it will always be.

He sealed the letter and handed it to the guard to be sent to the King.

He thought of Patrick again.

 A man should have a cause in his life to fight, and a reason to stay alive. Jonathan used to have the first. Now he had Patrick. He wanted him. He needed him. What he had to do now was plan not how to win over the castle but its Lord.

 


	8. Chapter 7

 

The snow melted and spring came, bringing a hope for new beginnings in the castle. Patrick spent his time in the gardens, playing with his sisters, gaining a sense of freedom, even limited. Brandon and Andrew continued to grow closer, somehow managing not to let the situation come between them. Patrick envied them a little, but he was genuinely happy that at least one good thing had come from the whole mess.

It was on one of those seemingly peaceful mornings when he was called in Jonathan’s office. His superiors had sent the orders that would seal his fate.

Patrick tapped his fingers nervously in the wooden desk as he read the scroll. It came from General Hossa and it was the capitulation command which Jonathan had talked to him about.

_Lord Patrick Kane swears allegiance to the parliamentarian cause and promises to yield his castle perpetuity to that same cause, renouncing any other alliance now and forever…_

“I would use this as tinder but it does not worth even that!” he said in frustration.

 Jonathan looked at him unfazed “At least General Hossa is giving you a choice. I wouldn’t have been that generous.”

“Yield my castle to the Parliamentarians – or marry the one that the General chooses for me?” he scoffed “What kind of choice is that? I’m not a maiden who has to be married to their guardian’s chosen you know. And even if I did sign my castle over -which I won’t!-  there would still be an _administrator_ …” he spat the word “…who would have control over my land. That would be as bad as…” he stopped.

“As having me here?” Jonathan asked

“Almost!”

Jonathan laughed “So, you won’t capitulate”

“Never!”

“In that case you would have to marry a Parliamentarian. That is the option he offers you.”

Patrick squinted “General Hossa has no right playing matchmaker. The King is still somewhat of my guardian, he will decide my fate.”

“We have had that conversation before” Jonathan said “The King is unable to fulfil whatever promises he made to you at this point.”

Patrick took another look at the scroll.

_If you do not agree to capitulate, I am afraid that you’d have to consider the only other viable option. It would give us a great pleasure to have you be married to an honourable man who will be able to protect you, your family and your fortune from the evils of war and will defend your castle from the Parliament’s enemies._

There were no names mentioned but Patrick knew who he was talking about. He doubted there were many suitors. Jonathan had already stated his willingness to marry him – and keep the castle on behalf of the Parliament. The General thought highly of him; no doubt he wanted to reward him.

Patrick growled “I will never accept to be handed over like a trophy to some random man who wishes to make something of himself with my fortune!”

Jonathan straightened his shoulders “Not random at all. I assure you I have a greater fortune myself and I will become Count one day”

“You think I care about that?”

“I don’t know. You seemed to have liked the idea when I first proposed to you”

Patrick shook his head “It was important to our parents. I did not care about the title. I would have had my own if you hadn’t taken my castle.”

“What do you care about?” Jonathan asked, ignoring the accusation.

Patrick bit his lip. He wanted to tell him that he cared about providing for his sisters, help his people live their lives as carefree as it was possible. Most importantly, he wanted to tell him that he cared about Jonathan, his obvious attraction to him. He wanted to tell him to eliminate all the reasons why they couldn’t be. He wanted to not feel like something valuable was slipping through his fingers. Jonathan was staring at him and for a moment Patrick was about to tell him all that.

“I don’t care about anything” he lied

“Then it won’t matter now that you’ll finally marry me”

“So, it’s you or no one?”

“No. You’ll marry _me_ ” Jonathan said smirking “There’s no alternative.”

Patrick tried to control the twitch of his lips. It was all he had wanted once, but it had now become something distorted and damaged; something he couldn’t recognise anymore “Even if you have to take me to church by force?”

Jonathan shrugged “If it has to come to that, yes.”

“You’ll marry me because your superiors command you?”

“No. I will marry you because I want to. I never stopped wanting to.”

Patrick didn’t even try to control his heartbeat, it was pointless. He tried to put up a fight though; he had to “I told you once before. Hell would freeze before I…”

Jonathan bent over the desk, right in his face “And _I_ told you that I want you and I will have you – you and the castle- like it or not”

They exchanged a hostile glance, but under that the want was still visible; the possessiveness in Jonathan’s eyes made Patrick shiver. “No” he whispered “I will not have a marriage of convenience with you so you could take my land and offer me your protection in exchange. I will not consent so you can steal my inheritance.”

Jonathan took two steps forward and grabbed him. It was so unexpected that Patrick didn’t have a chance to react. Jonathan captured Patrick’s mouth with his in a fierce kiss.

“Marriage of convenience, huh?” he said hoarsely “At least be brave enough to admit your wants, Patrick”

Patrick took a deep breath “A little more courtliness like that, and I will start hating you again”

Jonathan laughed. He stretched his hands and tucked one of Patrick’s strayed curls behind his ear “I don’t believe you. I’ve told you from the very beginning. We’re not enemies Patrick. There’s something else between us.”

“What we’ll never be is lovers” Patrick stated “You have your beliefs and I have mine and that will always come between us”

Jonathan stepped a little closer “And if that obstacle did not exist?”

Patrick knew that being with Jonathan would be …passionate, to say the least. He felt it every time they were close. His desire for Jonathan made Patrick lose himself and forget about his principles; and that terrified him. Nevertheless, until his duty to his King was fulfilled he was not free to think of his own future. And he could not marry the enemy however great the passion that bind them was.

“Then things would be different” he finally said “but that will never happen”

Jonathan stepped away. Patrick could tell he was angry.

“Very well” he said “If you insist for us to be enemies, have it your way. Tell me about the King’s treasure, Patrick.”

“I have nothing to tell you” he parroted.

Jonathan smacked his hand on the desk “You have no choice anymore! If you won’t accept me as your husband and you insist on being loyal to the King, I will have no option but throw you in prison and force you to talk.” He showed Patrick the scroll. “If you say you don’t like Hossa’s orders, wait to hear mine! I’m ordered, if you decline the marriage offer, to use any means necessary to make you give up the treasure’s location. Something tells me that that would be more unpleasant for you than me”

“You’re saying that if I don’t marry you you’ll arrest me and torture me? Are you that unscrupulous?” Patrick said stunned.

Jonathan clenched his jaw “You leave me no other option.”

Patrick took a good look at him and saw the battle that was going on inside him. He was strict yes, but he was not cruel. He would never resort to torture. He was too honourable for that. But Patrick kept defying him, refusing to give in and be true to his feelings. He forced him to act in a manner so beneath him.

“You won’t do it…” he said slowly

“I will do whatever it takes” he retorted “My back is against the wall”

“You don’t conduct the war with torturing” Patrick said not losing hope “You’re not like the Colonel, you don’t force your will”

“I didn’t” he agreed “But you’re the only one who can tell me what I want to know” he said touching Patrick’s arm. His grip was not tight but it was firm and scared Patrick. “I will not interrogate you any more” he said softly “I will talk to your most trusted people instead. I will interrogate Andrew and Tyler and I _will_ get the truth out of them. I doubt they’re as loyal as you, and even if they are, a few hours with me and they will break”

Patrick’s face lost all colour. The thought alone sickened him. “You’ll do no such thing!” he said, voice trembling “You’re not that heartless. Andrew saved your brother’s life. And Tyler… Tyler is just a boy, he’s barely of age.”

“It’s all up to you” he said simply.

“That’s blackmail!” Patrick protested

Jonathan nodded “Yes, that’s exactly what it is”

“I can’t allow that. Interrogate me. Throw me in prison, do whatever you want, just don’t harm my loved ones”

Jonathan shook his head “I can’t promise that”

“If I agree to marry you…” he started saying

Jonathan cut him off “I would still expect your obedience. You wouldn’t be able to help the King, because the sentence would be death”.

Patrick looked at the scroll again, felt like it was mocking him. If he refused, Jonathan would interrogate Andrew and Tyler till they broke. If he agreed to sign it, he would be able to protect them; but it would mean breaking his oath and losing his integrity.

“I will sign it” he finally said “I will hand the castle over to the Parliament and I will marry you to seal the deal.”

Jonathan remained still “And you’ll tell me where the King’s treasure is?”

Patrick shook his head “You told me once you want three things, the castle, the treasure and me. I will give you two out of three and it’ll have to suffice. I will even swear not to try to hand the treasure over to the King. I can’t do more than that. One day…” he swallowed with difficulty “One day I will be able to tell you everything. I pray for the day the civil war ends. Those are my terms; take them or leave them. It’s up to you.”

Jonathan came close once more “You’d do that for the people you love?”

“Yes. I’d do it for them. I’d do it so that my sisters won’t have to live in fear. I’d do it so that there’d be peace on this castle. And I’d do it so that you’ll never get the King’s treasure”

Jonathan was as white as a sheet “You do know that by signing you’re breaking your oath”

“I know” Patrick stated “I will agree not to support the King’s cause in any way but you’ll have to agree not to harm Andrew and Tyler and abandon the search for the treasure”

Jonathan seemed to consider it for a while “No” he finally said “It’s all or nothing”

“Then we have no deal” Patrick said angrily and stood up “And I swear, lord Toews, that if you touch Andrew or Tyler or any of my people to force me to break my silence, I will kill you with my own two hands.”

 

*

 

Jonathan remained in his office long after Patrick had left. He had tried to write a reply to his superiors but he end up re-reading the scroll that was sent to him. Patrick had been so close to signing.

He had pushed Patrick to his limits, threatened to harm his loved ones and that filled him with guilt. He was trying to convince himself it was what it had to be done for the cause, but it still didn’t feel right to him.

Patrick, on the other hand, did what he did out of love. That was the difference between them. That was something Jonathan could understand. What he couldn’t comprehend was his refusal to hand over the treasure. It was gold and jewels after all; nothing worth sacrificing lives for. Yet Patrick thought it important enough.

He decided to write to Hossa and tell him that Patrick had declined but he’d continue to try to convince him to reveal the secret. He knew though, that he’d never make good on his threats to torture Patrick’s people to get it.

He had been so close to finally having all he ever wanted. Deep inside though, he was relieved that Patrick hadn’t given in. He was glad he hadn’t crimped all that he admired.

 

*

 

It was a little after midnight when Patrick exited his room. That morning the priest had handed him another message. Like the last one, it advised him to be careful and informed him that the treasure would be handed to the King the next week or so. It was time for Patrick to visit the treasure.

There were two guards outside his door that night; young Smith and unsurprising, Saad. It seemed that Jonathan had appointed him Patrick’s keeper.

“Private Saad” he smiled to the young officer “I hate to trouble you but I feel like getting a breath of fresh air.”

Saad flashed but did not budge “My lord, I’m afraid I have to ask you to return to your room. It’s not safe to wander around at night”

“What kind of danger could I possibly face in my own castle with all these guards around?” Patrick asked “I merely wish to visit the church. I find comfort there.”

Saad frowned. He had direct orders not to let him leave his room but he was uncomfortable denying him a visit to the church. “Very well; I will escort you there”

“Praying is a solitary activity, child. I’m sure you understand that” Patrick said trying to somehow limit the private’s control by diminishing him to a youngling.

Saad turned bright red “I will escort you to church and wait for you outside” he said “Smith, report to Lord Toews”

Patrick smiled as he followed Saad. The young soldier thought he was doing his duty and will probably be praised for it. He had fallen right into Patrick’s trap and Patrick felt a jolt of satisfaction.

When they reached the staircase Patrick got Saad from the arm to stop him “We’re not going through the yard, Private. We’re taking the indoor track. You can stay here if you want”

Patrick didn’t wait for a reply. He walked down the corridor hearing Saad calling after him. He ignored him, rushed into the entrance and locked the door behind him. Fortunately for Patrick, Jonathan hadn’t thought of taking the house keys away from him.

On the back of the church there was a door leading to the deacon’s room. The room was simple, just a cabinet for the vestments, a chair and a desk. What interested Patrick was the window that led near the kitchens. As Patrick was climbing out of the window he heard soldiers trying to open the church’s front entrance.

“It’s locked my lord” a soldier said “Should we break it open?”

“No” Jonathan hastily replied “The priest usually keeps it locked. I don’t want to cause unnecessary damage”

Patrick froze in his spot. He heard Saad’s voice “We did a quick search, my lord, but there’s no sign of Lord Patrick. He must have gotten in and right back out as you feared. Do you want us to search the whole castle?”

“No” Jonathan said “Don’t sound the alarm just yet. Go by the front entrance and search the ground floor; I’ll search the rest. Just be… discreet”

Patrick knew he only had a little time before Jonathan waking the priest, demanding the church keys. He crawled in the dark as quietly as he could. The only light came from the church; Patrick had forgotten to close the window. He didn’t have time to think about that though.

He walked through the kitchens, past the cellar and the warehouses and reached the shed where they stored the harnesses. He knocked on the door gently. Ruffling was heard from inside and a young girl half-opened the door “My Lord?” she asked worryingly.

“Yes, it’s me. Open up”

The room was incredibly small, barely fitting the two wooden beds. The one was empty, sheets crumpled, evidence that Patrick had woken Ida. On the other one a little girl, barely three years of age, was sleeping peacefully, holding a doll made of cloth. Her blond hair were curling a bit in the ends, cheeks fluffy and pink, making her look like a cherub.

“Is her majesty doing well, Ida?” Patrick asked.

“Just fine, my lord. She asks for her father from time to time but that’s about it”

Patrick nodded “A message came. He will send for her in a week, two at the most”

“Thank God!” the girl exclaimed “It’s about time. I got worried when I heard that the Colonel had sneaked into the castle”

“Don’t worry. You’ll be home soon. We’ll be ready for when the King sends his men”

Ida smiled “It won’t take long. The King will do everything in his power to get his little girl back safe.”

“I hope so” Patrick said “In the meantime, is there anything else you two need?”

“Your servants take good care of us my lord even though they don’t know who we are.”

Patrick smiled “I have to go. I don’t have much time. But if you need anything, tell Tyler and he will get me the message”

Ida nodded “Thank you my lord”

Patrick left quietly. He was glad there were no troubles. He had introduced Ida as a Royalist’s widow and Princess Madelyn as her daughter. Ida helped in the kitchens and Madelyn spend her days playing in there. They had become one with the servants, no one even suspect who Madelyn truly was.

Patrick knew Jonathan was a good man and he doubted he’d ever harm a child to get what he wanted. He also knew that if he ever found out he’d send her to General Hossa and Princess Madelyn would become a political prisoner. Patrick would never let a three year old child become a pawn to be used as leverage for the war.

For a moment he thought about what Jonathan would really do if he found out. He decided he didn’t want to know the answer to that. Jonathan knowing was not an option.

He reached the church, climbed back in. He opened the door quietly just as Jonathan and his soldiers were entering through the front of the church.

 

*

 

Patrick blinked being blinded by the torches’ light. He closed the door and leaned against it. “Lord Toews?” he said trying to sound surprised “Is there something wrong? What are your soldiers doing here?”

“My Lord!” Saad exclaimed as he saw him. He turned to Jonathan “ehm… I swear…He couldn’t have been here when we searched earlier, my lord”. Patrick almost felt sorry for the poor boy.

“Lord Toews? What’s going on?” Patrick repeated.

Jonathan walked towards him “Where were you?” he asked suspiciously.

Patrick widened his eyes “What do you mean? I was here. I told private Saad…”

“Private Saad escorted you to church half an hour ago. You locked the door leaving him behind and just disappeared. I demand to know where you’ve been”

Patrick tried to feign regret “Private Saad I apologize. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts”. He looked at Jonathan again “I was here the whole time. In the deacon’s room” he lied.

“You were in the deacon’s room all this time?” Jonathan repeated “And you didn’t hear us searching? You didn’t hear voices from the other side of the door?”

Patrick shook his head “I heard nothing. I’m sorry, but I was kind of…sad”

Jonathan arched his brow “Very well. We have nothing more to say. Saad gather the men and inform everyone that Lord Patrick had been found”

Patrick saw Saad gesturing the men to leave and exited himself, leaving Patrick alone with Jonathan. He knew Jonathan hadn’t believed a word he had said. He had just sent his men away so they wouldn’t hear what he had to say.

“If you’re done with your prayers” he said icily “I will escort you to your room”

Patrick didn’t even try to protest. He was willing himself into silence. He knew that that was what Jonathan was waiting for; Patrick’s slip up.

 

*

 

Patrick’s nerves were frazzled; he had managed though to stay silent the whole way to his room. He was about to open his bedroom door when Jonathan stopped him.

“Wait a minute, my lord”

Patrick stopped

“Why did you choose to use the deacon’s room instead of the church?”

“I wanted to use the desk there”

“And you locked the door?”

Patrick frowned “Yes. I didn’t want to be disturbed.”

“The window was open. Did you notice?”

Patrick hesitated “No” he finally answered “Father Way must have left it open. He gets forgetful in his old age.”

“And you didn’t get cold?” he challenged

Patrick pointed to himself “I had my cloak as you can see”

“I see that your cloak’s hemlines are covered in hay” he said “Does father Way keep his horse in the deacon’s room?”

Patrick looked down and saw the hay there. “Perhaps the track was not as clean as I have thought”

“That, or your midnight adventures had taken you farther than you say” he retorted “Come on Patrick, do you really think me such a fool?” he asked “You weren’t in the church. You were at the stables”

“I was in the church” Patrick said, his heart beating furiously in his chest “That’s where you found me, isn’t it?”

“You’re lying” Jonathan accused cornering him between his body and the door. “I will search the stables and I _will_ find the treasure”

“You’ve already searched there and you found nothing” Patrick replied.

“One more stand like this and I will lock you in your room. I swear” he said grabbing Patrick by the shoulders and stared at him “I can’t go on like this. We will get married in a fortnight, Patrick. I will even accept your hate for forcing you into it. At least it would be better that this torture and your constant detachment.”

They stared at each other for a moment, then Jonathan took Patrick in his arms and pressed their mouths together, forcing Patrick’s open with his tongue. Against his better judgement Patrick tilted his head to accommodate him and deepen the kiss.

Jonathan abruptly stopped and took two steps back “A week, not a fortnight” he said and left.

 

*

 

The following morning a messenger left the castle, carrying the soldiers’ letters for their families. He was headed to Count Toews’ castle as well.

Jonathan had been sending a letter to his father once a week even though his father never wrote back.

That particular morning, the messenger was carrying a letter written from Patrick headed to the same destination. Usually, he didn’t sent Patrick’s letters without consulting Jonathan but this time he figured that a letter addressed to Count Toews didn’t require permission to be delivered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thus the secret is revealed! at least to you! cookies to those who guessed :D  
> Shelby has given up on trying to correct my spelling on words like honour! all remaining mistakes are my own, probably due to my stubbornness :P


	9. Chapter 8

“You seem a little absent-minded tonight, Jonathan” Brandon noticed “Unless you’re letting me win on purpose”

Jonathan looked up from their game questioningly, like the last statement was unthinkable. Truth was though, that Jonathan’s mind was not in their game. He couldn’t stop thinking about Patrick but he was too stubborn to admit it even to Brandon.

“I can’t concentrate” he said instead “I have this weird feeling today, like something is going to happen”

“Like an attack?” Brandon asked storing the game away; it was obvious they weren’t going to continue playing.

Jonathan shook his head “I don’t think so. Not now anyway. I did hear from Hossa. Our troops are heading west and I’m waiting to be called in battle any day. I think they’re waiting for the issues here to be resolved first though.”

“They ask too much of you. How do they expect you to force Patrick into telling you where the treasure is?”

“I don’t know” Jonathan replied, feeling his frustration and anger continue bubbling inside him.

Suddenly, they heard running from down the hall and they both turned towards the noise. Saad was approaching looking worried.

“My Lord, riders are coming! They wear your house colours!”

Jonathan and Brandon exchanged a worried look. “Our house colours?” Jonathan asked “My _father’s_ crest?”

“Yes my lord! Enemy emblems! Should I lower the bridge?” Saad asked nervously

“Of course; I don’t intent to deny him entrance despite our differences. My father does not actively participate in this war. I doubt he comes to conquer the castle.”

Saad saluted them and left.

Jonathan turned to his brother “See? I told you I had a weird feeling. Do you know anything about this?”

Brandon smiled “What? You think I’d call our father here? I’d rather face the whole Royal army instead!”

Jonathan cringed “I understand but I insist you come greet him with me”

Brandon reluctantly followed him. Jonathan could feel his brother’s restiveness. Their father could have that effect on people.

“Stay strong” Jonathan whispered and Brandon huffed.

They walked down the stairs and out the yard. They saw their father’s banners and the riders approach. They were both feeling weird seeing him after so long.

Their father raised his hand in a wave and gestured his men to stop. Jonathan heard steps behind him. Patrick stood by the door beaming. There were signs of relief in that smile of his.

“Uncle Bryan!” Patrick shouted “I’m so glad to see you!”

 

*

 

“I don’t wish for you to marry Patrick” Bryan Toews said. He smacked his hand hard on the table “We might have our political differences but you’re still my son and our house’s future is at stake. Go find yourself a maiden and do your duty. Forget this marriage! I will not allow it!”

The argument had been going on for hours. Count Toews was clearly upset. Jonathan couldn’t see the reason why.

“Father, I was always meant to marry Patrick. I remember you being more than supportive of that union. As for the future of our house, Patrick has three little sisters. They will be our children, your grandchildren and our heirs. I will not marry anyone else!” Jonathan did not shout but the message went through clearly. He was determined and there was no way anyone could change his mind.

Count Toews shook his head “I won’t allow you to use them! Every Parliamentarian should be ashamed of this. Did the world really come to this? Making defenceless people into pawns? Frighten them until they submit to your will?”

Jonathan cringed. The accusation hit him harder than a strike would have because it was true. He was forcing Patrick surrender unconditionally.

“Things are not how they seem father. Calm down, have a beer, it will help lift your spirit”

“My spirit is in no need of lifting. Everything will be fine once you return to our castle and take the position that suits your name; and your brother gives up a cause he does not know how to support. I will not lose my sons to a cause I do not even support. One that makes you treat people the way you have.”

 “Rest father, have a drink. I’m in no hurry to either be married or killed” Jonathan said.

“What is it with this place that has you both wanting to get married so urgently?” asked the Count taking the drink Jonathan offered him.

“I cannot speak for Brandon; you’ll have to ask him yourself”

The Count snorted “He does not have the courage to even talk to me! He’s being a coward”

“Brandon is many things but a coward is not one of them” Jonathan said fiercely “Gagner tortured him but he resisted with all his might. You have to acknowledge that, father even if you don’t believe in the reasons behind his actions.”

“Gagner has no honour” Bryan Toews snarled “If I ever get my hands on him…”

“You’ll have to wait in line for that, father” Jonathan said “ _I_ reserve the right to kill him”

“Yes” the Count said staring at Jonathan “You have my blessings, at least for that. But what about that boy Brandon thinks he is in love with…Isn’t he a bastard with no fortune?”

Jonathan frowned. He did not like people looking down on anyone for things that were not their fault. “Brandon doesn’t care about such things.”

“He should!” the Count said angrily “Brandon doesn’t have the luxury of making an inappropriate choice.”

“Brandon may not have our name but he is a part of our family nonetheless. You made sure of that. You gave him his own land. You never treated him differently than me or David. Don’t let your bitterness ruin everything.” Jonathan reasoned “He may not be your blood, but he is a lot like you father. He will fight for what he wants”.

The Count snorted but he did seem pleased “We’ll see about that. If his feelings are as strong as he thinks, I’ll give him that. And now back to you” he added glaring at Jonathan “You took this castle by force and now you’re trying to legitimize the conquest by marrying Patrick”

“I took over the castle in the name of the Parliament and I intent to keep it for the same reason”

“Fair enough” Count Toews said “I am glad you defeated Gagner even if it’s not appropriate for me to say that. But you can’t ignore the fact that he was Patrick’s fiancé. Their engagement was sealed with vows and deeds.”

“You have been misled, father. Patrick never signed the deed. There was no engagement.” Jonathan said fiercely.

The Count looked at him with a hint of pity “Nevertheless, people say there was. They say that Patrick crawled into his bed to get to keep his castle. Is this something you want to hear about your husband?”

“Let them try and I’ll cut their throats out” Jonathan said, squeezing his cup so tightly his knuckles turned white.

“But if we assume the rumours are true…” The Count paused

“Even if they were true, which are not, Patrick would need my protection even more.”

“Would your pride handle the fact that people would think your husband is a male harlot who sleeps around to get his way? You think they haven’t heard about his visits to the tavern with that squire of his? I sure as have.”

Jonathan lost all his patience. He stood up abruptly, making the counter shake. He was angry when he heard the rumours going around the village but have it be spoken by his own father made him livid. “Father, you better watch your tongue!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the Count asked sullenly “Are you challenging your own father?”

“Yes” Jonathan answered grinding his teeth “Patrick has the deepest of my respect and admiration and I will allow no one to speak ill of him; not even you.”

“So you respect and admire Patrick. That is a lot more than I expected. I thought your wish to marry him was a political expediency.” Count Toews said sounding less worried now “Is Patrick remaining true to the oath he swore to the King?”

Jonathan nodded “He’d never break it”

“That’s admirable. He has taken after his father. He was a great man. Most people sell out their loyalties these days”

Jonathan gave him a soured glare. “Oh, calm down! I didn’t mean you so stop looking at me like you’ve just swallowed a lemon. I think you chose wrong, but you’re loyal to what you believe and I can respect that.”

Jonathan let out a sigh of relief “Thank you, father. It means a lot.”

He could have sworn he saw his father’s smirk but the Count coughed and continued “We were talking about Patrick. He is a fine young man. Every father would be glad to welcome him into his family. And this is such a wonderful place. How much does it worth?”

Jonathan mentioned a figure and the Count widened his eyes “That much, huh? Yes.. I do remember you were eager to marry Patrick even back then.”

“My eagerness had nothing to do with the amount of his fortune father. But things have changed now. Aren’t you supposed to remind me that two people with different beliefs would have a difficulty in being together?”

“That’s why I came here; to offer Patrick my protection if he needed it. But I realise that you want to marry him for reasons other than this war. I just don’t know how this marriage can work if neither of you are willing to change sides.”

Jonathan nodded his head understandingly “But, it would be disastrous if one of you did change sides. They’d be a completely different person from the one that you fell for” said the Count sadly.

Jonathan seemed to contemplate the words for a while “I understand what you mean father but I can’t back down. I _will_ marry him!”

 “Because you desire him” he said smile evident in his voice “I can understand that. I will speak with him, but the decision is Patrick’s and Patrick’s alone. I won’t allow you to drag him to church. If he decides not to marry you I will offer him refuge to my castle”

“What are you going to tell him?” Jonathan grunted

“What I’ve just told you, more or less. I’m an old man, son. I have seen a lot in my time. I don’t know what will come from this war. What I know is that we’ll need compassion not hostility. I’ll tell Patrick not to throw away his chance of being happy; if deep down he believes he can be happy with you that is.” The Count stood up “I’ll talk to him first thing tomorrow. I’d like to rest now”.

 

*

 

Dawn brought a beautiful spring day. Jonathan’s soldiers and Patrick’s servants were laughing and teasing each other as they worked together. Everything seemed to have changed in the castle, as if everything was in place.

Patrick had gone for his usual walk alone, as Count Toews had expressed his wish to get to know Andrew better. Andrew was terrified but couldn’t refuse the request. Patrick smiled at the thought. Bryan Toews thought that Brandon had fallen in love with a nice, quiet, somewhat shy boy but pretty soon he’d realise how wrong he had been! 

As he returned from his walk, Patrick saw the three of them exiting the house. Brandon and Andrew were headed towards the gardens while the Count was walking towards Patrick. He smiled as he saw Andrew hopping in Brandon’s back, turning his head to give Patrick a radiant smile.

“That boy is a handful” count Toews said as he reached Patrick. Patrick chuckled. “He is a loud, feisty, mouthy boy but he has a good heart. And Brandon seems to have found a way to ground him. I’ve decided they’d be good for each other”

“I’m glad you approve” Patrick said.

“You don’t seem like it. Do you think that Brandon is not good enough for your cousin?”

Patrick laughed “No, my lord. I think they’re quite a match. They deserve to be happy.”

  “What about you?” the count asked “It’s time for you to decide about the future, my boy. I came here to offer you shelter if you feel you can’t live here any longer.”

“It’s time to make my choice, isn’t it?” Patrick replied sadly.

The Count nodded “Your castle belongs to Jonathan now. I can’t change that. The fool chose the wrong side but when he dedicates himself to a cause there’s no changing his mind” he paused looking at Patrick thoughtfully “Four years ago he wanted to marry you, Patrick. That hasn’t changed.”

“He has a funny way of showing it” he said bitterly “Threatening to torture my servants and drag me to church by force”.

“Jonathan runs the task that was assigned to him and he does so with a heavy heart. You two are more alike than you even know, you just can’t understand it. You’re both young, passionate and both loyal to your causes” he shook his head “I wish you could realise that if you’d show the same dedication to each other you could have a solid marriage.”

“I have given another promise long time ago” Patrick said “I’m sorry, my lord, by I can not break that”

Bryan Toews nodded “I respect that, but there’s something you need to know.”

His expression was gloomy and Patrick felt a sting of fear pierce his heart. “The King spoke to me about your castle when the Parliamentarians took hold of it. He was considering signing the capitulation himself.” He looked at Patrick and saw the despair and hurt on his face “I’m sorry Patrick. In situations like these one is forced to make difficult choices.”

“No” Patrick screamed “The King would never do that, not after all that we’ve done for him”

Count Toews looked at him pitifully “He didn’t do it in the end even if his advisors pushed him into it. For some reason he never revealed he was reluctant to do so”.

Patrick suddenly realised that if they hadn’t had Madelyn with them, King Sharp would have handed the castle –and Patrick- over to Jonathan.

“Thank you for telling me, my lord” Patrick said voice cracking, turning away so no one could see his tears.

“I’m sorry” the Count replied.

Patrick waved his hand dismissively and walked away. He found his way to the gardens, supporting himself on a nearby tree. He finally let his tears fall.

“Patrick?” he heard Jonathan’s familiar voice “What’s wrong? I saw you in the yard with my father. I thought he came to offer you a shelter. Is that thought so repulsive to you?”

Patrick sighed, wiping his tears “No, my lord. Your father has nothing to do with my sadness. I’m just a fool, that’s all”

He could feel Jonathan’s eyes bore the back of his head but he didn’t speak. He just lifted his hand and placed it gently into Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick waited for Jonathan to ask but the question never came. He knew Jonathan was dying to know, like he knew that this was his way of giving Patrick space and time while showing him that he was not alone. “You father told me that the King was considering signing the capitulation himself” he finally said “he told me it was a political decision. Politics!” he spat the last word.

Jonathan took him by the hand and sat him on a bench. “I’m sorry” he said “I understand how that must have hurt you”

“I feel like a fool!” Patrick said his tone something between hurt and angry.

“You have the King’s treasure” Jonathan said softly “He couldn’t risk doing something that would turn you against him”

“Right… I feel like if it wasn’t for that, he’d had over my life and my land to his enemies without a second thought”

“Not without guilt though” Jonathan said “He’d see it as a sacrifice for a greater cause”

Patrick glared at him “I suppose you’d do the same thing”

“Not without guilt” Jonathan repeated “we’re at war, Patrick…”

“I remember that; you keep telling me so” he said bitterly “and at war people get hurt. Maybe I’m too naïve to understand how this game is played”

“Don’t degrade your loyalty just because others around you don’t have the same integrity” Jonathan said squeezing his hand lightly “We’re the ones who aren’t able to live up to the standards Patrick, not the other way around”

Patrick didn’t speak for a while “Your father did offer me shelter” he finally said “it was very nice of him, but I would feel more displaced there than I feel here. That’s why…” he glanced at Jonathan “if your marriage proposal is still valid, I accept.”

Jonathan tensed next to him “I wish things were different, Patrick” he said “Things weren’t supposed to be this way”

Patrick turned to face him “How were they supposed to be?”

Jonathan leaned in and touched his lips with Patrick’s, exploring gently. Patrick held his breath; he felt it mingle with his as his tongue was pushing a little more inside his mouth, trying to coax a reaction out of him. Patrick felt being drawn to Jonathan like a magnet. He placed his hand on Jonathan’s chest and pushed him away gently. “That’s how it was once” he whispered

Instead of an answer, Jonathan pulled him up and into his lap. He manhandled him until Patrick was straddling him.

“Jonathan, we need to stop” Patrick said breathing hard. Despite his words, he grabbed Jonathan by the hems of his shirt and leaned closer.

“No one can see us here” Jonathan assured “Brent and Duncan use this spot all the time” he looked sheepish as he admitted “I may or may not have asked them about secure locations”

Patrick made an attempt to huff but Jonathan swallowed the air by taking his mouth with his, a little fiercer this time. Patrick relaxed, opening his lips drowning a moan as he felt Jonathan’s hand reach inside his shirt and caress his back. His calloused palms felt rough on his skin. Patrick cried out when Jonathan trailed kisses on the side of his neck, sucking gently at a soft spot behind Patrick’s ear.

Jonathan lifted his head and looked at him “You need to be quiet. They may not be able to see us but if they hear us they’ll know”

Patrick bit his lip “Then stop doing that, my lord” he said not really meaning it.

“My name is Jonathan. Say it!” he ordered gripping Patrick’s waist tighter and pushing him closer.

“Jonathan” Patrick whispered and rested his head on Jonathan’s shoulder “if you don’t want the whole castle to hear me moan, you better stop now!”

Jonathan laughed. His next kiss was rougher, more demanding, his hand still roaming over Patrick’s back.

“I don’t want to” Jonathan said when he stopped to catch his breath. He pushed Patrick away slightly, unlacing Patrick’s breeches dexterously, sliding his hand inside. Patrick jumped as he felt the calloused hand grip his erection. Jonathan captured his mouth once again to drawn out any noise and started moving his hand. Patrick gripped him by the shoulders and cut off the kiss to tilt his head back and sigh with pleasure.

Jonathan speeded up the pace while nibbling and sucking along Patrick’s neck. When Patrick reached the peek of his pleasure, letting out one last moan, Jonathan held him tight in his arms. Patrick hid his face into the crook of Jonathan’s neck panting until he got down from his high.

“ _That’s_ how it was supposed to be” Jonathan mumbled with his lips on Patrick’s hair. Patrick just nodded unable to utter a word.

He felt Jonathan smile “I wanted to do that for so long” Jonathan admitted “We can’t go back now Patrick. We can only look forward.”

Patrick traced Jonathan’s cheekbones with his fingers, then his lips, leaving a quick kiss there “I will try” he said “for the sake of the castle”

He knew it was the wrong thing to say but the guilt for all the lies and all the things he kept from him consumed him; most of all the fact that he still couldn’t reveal the truth.

Jonathan looked at him like he was searching Patrick’s eyes for answers to question Patrick was not even aware of. “I guess that has to suffice” Jonathan said in the end kissing him again, but this time there was sadness and hurt evident in his kiss. And when Jonathan left, he didn’t turn to look at Patrick.

 


	10. Chapter 9

 

The day of their wedding was strangely cold for a spring day. Patrick was trembling while Tyler and Andrew were helping him dress. Patrick’s sisters were twirling around in their white dresses making their flower crowns fall off their heads.

“It shouldn’t have happened this way, Patrick. You shouldn’t be getting married in the midst of war and bloodshed. I remember the day of your engagement…”

“Shut up!” Patrick said cutting off Andrew’s reminiscing. He couldn’t deal with the thought of how things were once between him and Jonathan. He wanted to keep that happiness forever but he knew it was long gone. Realising how harsh that was he gave Andrew an apologetic look and said “Please, don’t talk about that”.

Tyler, who had always been a firm believer of physical comfort, gave Patrick a hug “Come on, your escort is here. They’re ready to take you to church.”

Patrick glanced at the door seeing Captains Keith and Seabrook, dressed in their black and red uniforms. He knew they were there to protect him not drag him to church by force but still their presence reminded Patrick what the situation was.

“You look incredible!” Andrew said softly and Tyler gave an agreeing nod. “Your father would have been so proud of you. Remember that it was his wish for you to marry lord Toews”.

“I remember. Whatever I do I do it for them” Patrick said gesturing towards his sisters who had managed to shed half of their flowers on the floor “their future and the future of this castle”.

 

*

 

Patrick went to church on horseback. Jonathan had decided to have the ceremony in the village instead of the castle. Patrick knew it was his way of showing everyone that by marrying Patrick he became the castle’s absolute master.

 He saw Jonathan waiting by the church’s entrance, standing still, eyes fixed on Patrick. Sadness filled him. He was about to marry Jonathan, hand over his life, his family and his land to him; it was all he had wished for years ago. Now everything between them was twisted and hurried.

Jonathan approached trying to help him off his horse but Patrick scolded and jumped. Their eyes met. Jonathan had a cautious expression on his face but his eyes were shinning. He took Patrick by the arm and led him to where Father Way was expecting them.

Patrick took a deep breath ‘here goes nothing’ he thought as he entered the church.

 

*

 

The wedding party started right after the ceremony and would last the whole night. Everyone was invited. The hall was packed and when no more people could fit they scattered in the yard and continued the celebration there. Beer was flowing and fires were lit to keep everyone warm.

Patrick wished their parents had been there. But Count Kane was dead and Bryan Toews had left right after their talk. Patrick couldn’t have his father back but he hoped in the near future for Jonathan to rebuild his relationship with his.

He caught sight of Tyler gesturing him towards the door. He knew it was Tyler’s way of telling him it was time they’d retire. He looked at Jonathan, who was sitting at the head of the table, position rightfully his now. They were husbands now, soon to be lovers as well. He shivered. He could easily give Jonathan his body but what Patrick really wanted was to be able to give him his heart freely but that couldn’t happen.

“Excuse me, my lord” Private Saad was standing next to the table, taking Jonathan by the arm to get his attention. He smiled at Patrick apologetically but it didn’t fool Patrick. Something was wrong, Patrick was sure.

Jonathan leaned closer and whispered “There has been an attack in the village. The houses are burning. Most likely it was Gagner. I suspected he might take advantage of the celebration to attack so I doubled the guard, but he managed to get past them. I have to go” he was half out of his seat when he added “I know you want to come with. But I need you to stay here and keep our people safe.”

Patrick grabbed him by the sleeve “Be careful!” he said and saw Jonathan pause

“Of course” he replied

“I fear for your life” Patrick admitted. It was becoming a pattern Patrick didn’t like.

He saw the expression in Jonathan’s eyes change, soften. Jonathan leaned down and gave him a quick kiss, softly touched Patrick’s cheek and left.

Patrick was inconsolable. He lowered his head disheartened until he felt people staring at him, expecting something.

_‘Our people’_ Jonathan had said and Patrick’s chest swollen with pride. He stood up. “We are under attack. All men capable of holding a sword go to the arsenal and arm yourselves. The rest will stay here and help me care for the injured. You have nothing to fear. My husband has sworn to protect this land with his life.”

Loud cheers filled the hall and men left to do as Patrick had said. Everyone was calm, not surprising, as his people were familiar with war.

Andrew and Tyler came to sit next to him. He knew they wanted to comfort him but he also knew that all three of them hated being in the sidelines. Their pride was hurt. They were young and fit and capable of facing the dangers yet they were left behind.

“They’ll come back. Everything’s going to be fine” Tyler said squeezing Patrick’s hand. Patrick knew Tyler had said it out loud for all their sake’s. Apparently Brown thought he had something to prove and had joined the men in battle.

Andrew didn’t speak, he just clenched his fist, clearly unhappy with the fact that Brandon had left without him.

“He better be” Patrick said angrily, his focus solely on Jonathan at that point “because I love that stubborn fool and we need to work on our issues before it’s too late”.

Clang of horse petals echoed in the hall and they watched as Jonathan’s men crossed the bridge and exited the castle.

 

*

 

“Patrick!” someone was shaking him awake “Patrick wake up!” came a different voice this time.

Patrick opened his eyes and saw Andre and Tyler looming over his head “What’s wrong?” Patrick asked, fear surrounding his heart “Is it Jonathan? Is he hurt?”

“We have no news yet” Tyler said “The princess, Patrick. She disappeared”

Patrick jumped out of bed “What? How? When? How is that possible?” he bubbled.

Princess Madelyn and Ida were invited to the celebration, because their absence would have raised suspicions. Patrick had asked them to stay in the yard. Jonathan was really perceptive and Patrick feared that a close encounter might make him suspect. When they had sounded the alarm, Patrick figured they’d take refuge into the castle but he realised he hadn’t seen them there. Patrick panicked.

“We don’t know where she is” Andrew spoke this time “Tyler and I searched everywhere, we didn’t want to wake you up earlier in case she was just hiding somewhere.”

“We fear she might have seen her house’s colours and thought her father had come” Tyler said

“No!” Patrick screamed in terror! Gagner still used the Royalist’s colours, it would make sense for a little girl to think they’re her father’s men. “Where is Ida?” he asked

“She’s searching in the stables again”

“Go help her” Patrick said “I’ll be there in a minute. I need to check on the girls”

 

*

 

Patrick found all three of them waiting for him outside the stables. Ida was barely keeping it together. “I’m so sorry, my lord” she cried “We were in the yard when the news of the attack came and I turned my eyes away for just a moment. Next thing I know, she was gone”

“I have to go” Patrick decided quickly “If she’s wandering around alone out there…”

“No way!” Tyler and Andrew said in unison.

Patrick clenched his jaw “I have to protect her! I won’t let a scared little girl all alone out there. I have to find her”

Andrew grabbed him by the hand “You’re not going anywhere. You’re all alone and there’s a war going on! And don’t get me started on what will happen if Jonathan finds out”

“Are you both insane? It doesn’t matter! Nothing matters but finding the princess. Her life is at stake and I had vowed to protect her”

There were no horses left in the stable, just a few ponies but it wasn’t time for Patrick to dwell on the fact he’d have to ride something that was far from anything used in battle. “Ida, get me the gun and the knife from your room. They’re the only weapons the soldiers hadn’t found”

Ida run to do so as Patrick, Andrew and Tyler stood there in silence. “We should come with you” Andrew finally said.

“No” Patrick shook his head “You need to stay here and keep the girls safe. If anything happens to me…”

“Nothing is going to happen to you Patrick” he said sternly

“You don’t know that”

“I do. And even if…Jonathan will take good care of them, you know that”

“Jonathan might not come back” Patrick said forcing the words out scared he might have just tempted fate.

Andrew seemed about to protest but Ida came back with the weapons and Patrick took them, hopped on the pony and left.

He reached the gate and saw private Saad standing guard “Open the gate!” he barked. There was no room for hesitation.

Saad stared at him doubt founded “I can’t do that, my lord. I can’t allow you to leave”

Patrick glared at him “private Saad, this is a matter of life and death. I don’t have time for this!” he said taking out his gun and pointing at the soldier “Open the gate, or I swear I will shoot you”

Saad hesitated, he had defied Jonathan’s orders for Patrick once before and that hadn’t turned out so well. Patrick cocked his gun and pointed right at Saad once more “Now!” he growled.

All colour left Saad’s face. “Open the gate” he finally gave the order. 

Patrick didn’t wait for the bridge to touch down. He run as fast as ridding a pony would allow him and heard the gate close once more behind him. He didn’t know how he’ll be able to enter the castle again. He dreaded the moment he’d have to explain this to Jonathan or the way he might react if –when- he saw him again.

 

*

 

An hour later, Patrick returned to the village. Gagner’s defectors had burned everything down and left. There was no sign of Jonathan’s men either. Patrick searched in the ruins as well as he could, try to find a clue, to point him in the right direction and most importantly something to hang on to as hope.

He yelled until his voice was hoarse, until he had to admit to himself that it was pointless. Belatedly he realised it wasn’t the smartest move. Drawing attention wasn’t his goal here; it could have been proven deadly.

Knowing there was nothing more he could do at that point he decided to return to the castle and wait until daylight to continue the search. That was the smart thing to do after all, that’s what Jonathan would have done, for sure. He realised he would have to tell Jonathan the truth. Relief and fear battled inside him to the thought. He wasn’t sure how Jonathan would react.

He headed towards the path that led to the castle. He was exhausted but on high alert. He could clearly hear noise but he couldn’t see anyone or pinpoint the location it was coming from. He took the gun in his hand and tried to steer his pony into a grassier part of the path to cover the clangs.

The echo of the chase filled his ears; it was clear that whoever was out there they were approaching. He dug his heels into the pony’s ribs to make it go faster. If he managed to take a lead he might have a chance to escape them. A fruitless dream he knew but he had to try.

He heard a familiar voice come from behind and half-turning he saw Jonathan’s black war horse gallop towards him. Keith, Seabrook and Crawford were at Jonathan’s side reminding Patrick of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Patrick was terrified.

Jonathan was there and alive and that was a relief but Patrick didn’t have the time to feel happy about it because he was certain Jonathan would be boiling with rage. He saw him gesturing the men to follow the troops and continued ridding towards Patrick alone.

“Jonathan” he said as soon as Jonathan approached, getting off of his pony “Thank God you’re safe!”

Jonathan ignored his words “You ride exceptionally well even without a proper horse. But if you ever try to get away from me, I swear I will kill you! Do you understand?”

“I wasn’t trying to get away from you” Patrick snapped “I didn’t know who was out there. I was trying to reach the castle.”

“What are you doing here?” Jonathan asked angrily “Where were you going? Who were you trying to find?”

His face was like a stone cold mask but his eyes were burning as he dismounted his horse and grabbed Patrick by the arm “Answer me damn it! Was it Gagner?”

“Of course not” Patrick said bewildered “I wasn’t even sure he was…”

Jonathan cut him off with a noise between disgust and disbelief “You’re a liar” he accused.

That made Patrick furious “Lovely words by my husband on our wedding day!” he said, sarcasm dripping “What did you think? That I went off to find Gagner, hiding the King’s treasure on me? Would you like to search me to see if I’m telling the truth?”

He waited for Jonathan’s reaction but none came, so he continued “And here I thought we made progress in trusting each other, but you seem to think you can’t let me out of your sight without me trying to betray you.”

The silence stretched and held. “I lost three more men” Jonathan finally growled “Gagner burned the village to the ground. I left you at the castle thinking you’d be safe and you’d help our people. Instead, I find you out here all alone…How did you get out?”

“I threatened to shoot private Saad if he didn’t lower the bridge” Patrick said drily “It was the only way. Just, let me explain Jonathan…”

Jonathan cutting him off was a habit that Patrick didn’t really care for “So, besides a traitor you’re also I fool! Did you stop to think that by lowering the bridge a thousand soldiers could have invaded the castle and slaughtered all of you? Did you? Or were you too busy rushing off to find your lover?”

“He’s not my lover!” Patrick screamed “Let me explain! You need to listen to others once in a while!”

“I listened! I listened to you telling me Gagner is your enemy, that you hate him. But first chance you get you run to find him! I guess not crawling into his bed was a lie as well. I was just naïve enough to think you better than that!”

Patrick’s palm landed on Jonathan’s cheek with such force that Patrick felt the pain to his shoulder. He should have gone for the punch he thought “You make me sick!” he spat out heading towards his pony.

Jonathan grabbed him by the arm “We’ll return together and you’ll ride with me. And if you even try to escape I’ll drag you back from your pretty little curls”

Patrick didn’t have a chance to fight. They both froze as they heard noise beyond the pathway.

“Soldiers?” Patrick asked

Jonathan glared at him icily “Gagner’s defectors – as you well know”. He moved the horses behind a tree and when he returned he was holding his sword.

“I have a gun” Patrick said stretching his hand. Jonathan grabbed it and tucked it in his belt. Jonathan thought he’ll betray him, even kill him; Patrick could see it in his eyes. It broke Patrick’s heart into million pieces.

Jonathan turned his sword towards Patrick “Don’t make a sound or I _will_ use you as hostage” he threatened. He led them behind a thicket covering Patrick’s mouth with his palm.

Clangs and voices could now be heard more clearly. Jonathan held Patrick tighter. The noise seemed to dim after a while, changing direction. Neither of them moved. They waited it out. “They’re gone” Jonathan finally said, voice quiet.

“You were going to use me to run free” Patrick said hoarsely

“I would use you any way I’d see fit” he retorted “You are my enemy, though I forgot for a while. How can I believe you wouldn’t betray us?”

It was that simple. Patrick took the hit and wondered why it hurt so much. He’d rather Jonathan had used his sword instead of his words; it wouldn’t have cut that deep. 

He silently followed Jonathan and didn’t even protest when he helped him on his horse. He kept his hands to his sides, not trusting himself to touch Jonathan even if it was just to hold on.

The bridge was already lowered when they reached the castle. The guards stood still watching them with the corner of their eyes. A stable boy came to take the pony. Jonathan dismounted and helped Patrick do so as well, handing his horse over to the boy.

Private Saad exited the guard room ready to face Jonathan. Instead of looking at him, Jonathan turned and gave a stone cold look at Patrick “Take Lord Kane to the cells” he ordered Saad “and lock him in.”

 


	11. Chapter 10

No one moved for what seemed like forever. One of the guards gasped in surprise. Saad was stunned.

Jonathan’s rage, which he had barely managed to contain, burst. “I gave you an order Private” he shouted.

“Yes, sir!” the young soldier replied standing attention. He looked at Patrick almost pleadingly and Jonathan felt his anger hit new levels. His damn husband had managed to make the soldiers stand in awe in front of him! If Saad didn’t obey right that moment, he’d drag his husband in the dungeon himself.

Patrick decided to make private’s life easier. He gestured Saad to proceed, showing him he wasn’t going to put up a fight and that made the young soldier exhale with relief.

“If you please follow me, my lord” Saad said as if he was escorting Patrick to a formal dinner than the cold cells.

Patrick glanced quickly at Jonathan, and then turned his back on him, following Saad towards the door. Jonathan stood there watching them grimly until both figures were out of his sight. He had to make sure; Patrick was capable enough to escape from the soldiers on the way between the door and the cells.

He felt his soldiers’ eyes on him wondering what they had read in his expression “Lock the gate and double the guards” he ordered “We’ll assess the damage first thing tomorrow, but for now no one is to leave the castle. No one, you hear me?”

Without further additions, he turned his back and walked towards the hall.

 

 

*

 

Brent cornered him the moment he entered the house, got him by the arm and shoved him into his office. Brandon was already there, having a drink with Duncan near the fireplace.

Jonathan sat on the chair far away from them and closed his eyes. He knew that this wasn’t a war council but he didn’t even have the energy to tell them to mind their own business.

“I heard what happened” Brandon said calmly “They say the damage in the village could have been worse”.

Brandon hadn’t been with them, he was on the squad that covered the forest area but it seemed that Duncan had already informed him.

“The actual damage is that I failed to protect my people” Jonathan said bitterly “and Gagner escaped again.”

Duncan handed him a drink “Is it true that you threw your husband in a cell?” he asked. He wasn’t a man of many words and he always got right to the point.

Jonathan shrugged “Yes, it’s true”

Duncan didn’t say anything he just glanced at him disapprovingly and refilled his glass.

“You are really harsh brother” Brandon said.

“He tried to run away” Jonathan retorted. He didn’t want to have to explain to any of them that the main source of his anger wasn’t pointed at Patrick but to himself. Wanting Patrick was easy, simple. But this deep feeling, this misery, this sense of betrayal was unknown to him. He had let his feelings for Patrick run deep –he had loved him- and he was now paying the price.

“I don’t believe it. Patrick would never do that” Brandon tried to reason with him.

Jonathan glared at him “It’s all he’s been doing from the start! Betraying me, deceiving me! He was planning this all along, to escape and find Gagner. It wouldn’t surprise me if they had planned that attack together”

It seemed like a bulb had lightened in his head “How blind have I been? Gagner was the one who sent him to me that night, when Patrick swore he was there without the colonel’s knowledge to plead for his people. I’ve been wondering how Gagner had managed to get in the castle the day Saad got hurt. He probably knew about the tunnel or Patrick had opened the door for him!”

He banged his fist on the table “And tonight he had run to find him while the village was on fire!”

“You are a fool” Brent finally spoke “I don’t even know who you are anymore. You’re wrapped up in your own head, weaving stories and don’t stop to actually listen to the things you say. You need to snap out of it, Jonathan”

Jonathan didn’t reply. He slumped back on his seat trying to hide the hurt in his eyes. No one seemed to understand him. He was in a room with his most trusted people, yet he felt so alone.

Brandon was the one to speak this time “You seem to forget that I saw how Patrick treated Gagner the night he saved my life. He wasn’t acting to mislead me, he hated him!”

Jonathan decided to ignore those words, he didn’t want his head to be filled with doubt, and he didn’t want to consider that he might have been wrong. “Then what was he doing out there tonight?” he questioned “If he wasn’t trying to find Gagner, what was he doing there?”

“I heard that a child went missing and Patrick went to search for it” Duncan said. For a man who didn’t talk much, Jonathan wondered how he always found things like that out.

“Patrick is the only one who can answer that” Brent chimed in “Did you bother to ask him?”

Jonathan did not like it when Brent went all logical on him. He had this rare ability to straighten Jonathan’s head out but he didn’t feel like listening tonight. “What has he done to you people? It’s like you’re bewitched! He has you wrapped around his finger!”

“Your jealousy is driving you insane” Brandon accused while he stood up “I don’t want to talk with you any longer. I once told you I’ll always be loyal to you. I now have to inform you that I’m really close to abandoning you. Think about that tonight, brother.”

Jonathan watched his brother leave the room but didn’t try to stop him. He knew it took everything Brandon had to utter those words. Jonathan assumed there was some kind of influence from Andrew going on based on Brandon’s so passionate defence of Patrick.

Duncan refilled Jonathan’s glass once more, squeezed his shoulder lightly and took Brent with him as he left. Brent made no move to protest or try talking to Jonathan again. He knew Jonathan would sit there and think everything over.

And that’s exactly what Jonathan did. He thought about Gagner who had once more destroyed what Jonathan was trying so hard to build and how he had once again escaped. He knew that this time Patrick wasn’t going to be at his side helping him rebuild everything because he had driven him away. He wasn’t sure if his suspicions were valid or just sprang from his hate for Gagner. He had no means to win Patrick to begin with.

For a moment he thought about calling Patrick there and demand an answer as to why he was out there. Brent was right.  He hadn’t given Patrick the chance to explain but he was still too upset to hear anything he had to say. He was afraid of what he might hear.

He cursed under his breath. He was now realising just how much damaged he had caused to his marriage before it even begun. He had tried to make Patrick break his oath, threatened to torture his servants to get the truth out of them, he had literally forced him to marry him and now in the midst of his jealousy and rage he had shown him how superficial his trust for him was.

He probably had managed to crush even an ounce of love Patrick might have felt for him by trying to put his principles over his love to get his way.

He asked the guard to call Saad and when the soldier came he ordered him to bring Patrick up from the cells. Less than ten minutes later, Saad returned alone.

“My lord, Lord Patrick asked me to inform you that he will not obey your command. He said…” Saad cleared his throat “He said he’d rather spend his wedding night in the dungeon cell than share your bed, my lord”.

When Saad left, Jonathan emptied the bottle to his glass. He wasn’t much of a drinker usually but he needed the obliviousness alcohol could provide him with. Something told him that his husband was just about done with him.

 

*

 

Patrick was curled up in the dark. His cell was tiny and a grate was letting the cold air in.

It was late and Patrick was hungry but he doubted Jonathan would send him anything to eat. He was too proud to ask for food or a blanket.

When Jonathan had sent the private to summon him, like he was some criminal on his way to be judged, Patrick got so angry he’d rather die of cold than give him the satisfaction. Instead he was just sitting in the dark corner thinking about him.

He didn’t hate him. Deep inside he could still understand why Jonathan was acting that way even though his broken heart protested to that.

At least his fear about the princess had subsided. Tyler was at the yard when he arrived and caught Patrick’s gaze giving him a reassuring smile. They had found the princess, Patrick was sure. The whole thing had been in vain. There was no reason for him to tell Jonathan the truth now. He could keep the secret for a few more days until King Sharp could send his men to take her. Because he would soon, Patrick knew it.

At some point, Patrick somewhat managed to forget the cold and misery and fell asleep.

 

*

 

Voices outside the cell door woke Patrick up.

“Lord Kane is not allowed to have any food? Whose order?”

It was Tyler. Patrick sat up and rubbed his sleepy eyes. He heard one of the guards reply something quietly and then Tyler’s voice came stricter than before “You have to ask Lord Toews? This thing won’t be edible by then!”

The door opened and Patrick closed his eyes blinded by the light. One of the guards stepped in hesitantly. Tyler followed. “I’m not allowed in, my lord. They’re afraid I might have hidden a key in the plate!”

Patrick laughed “Did you?”

“No, my lord” Tyler responded all proper “It would ruin the taste”. He changed his tone is something softer “It’s most delicious at the bottom, my lord”

“Enough!” the guard growled handing the plate over to Patrick “Lord Toews will hang me if he finds out but I don’t want you to starve my lord”

Patrick smiled and thanked him. He sat in a corner on his heels and started eating while the guard and Tyler were watching him from the door. It was a little disturbing, Patrick thought but he was too hungry to be bothered.

“It’s really good” he commented.

“Should I take your plate now, my lord?” Tyler asked after a while. The guard turned to glare at Tyler and Patrick found the chance to flip the plate, read the message at the bottom and flip it back around.

The guard took the plate and handed it to Tyler “Go now before lord Toews finds out”

The door closed and Patrick could hear Tyler and the guard talk for a while, then the sound of the door closing and being locked was heard and Patrick knew Tyler had left.

_The child is safe and sound_

It was the confirmation he had been waiting for. Patrick pulled his knees to his chin and curled in the corner once more. Princess Madelyn was safe. Patrick’s future was uncertain.

Patrick let his tears fall, a mixture of relief and sadness. His heart ached – his whole body ached but his heart most of all. He knew he had loved Jonathan, and a little spark of that flame was still burning inside him, but if it would grow again or die it was something Patrick didn’t know.

 

*

 

Jonathan walked hurriedly up the stair that led to Patrick’s room. The day had exhausted him, his head hurt from the alcohol he had consumed the previous night, he was tired, dirty and sad. He was feeling guilty for leaving Patrick in the cells all night waiting for his anger to subside.

His intention was to free Patrick as soon as he returned to the castle. But then Saad told him that Patrick had demanded to be set free a few hours before and no one had it in them to refuse him. When Jonathan heard that, he was so furious he had almost thrown the private himself in the dungeon. He couldn’t, for the life of him, understand how Patrick could persuade his men to do his bidding. He was capable of convincing anyone that the sky is green for all he knew! 

He burst into the room intending to deal with Patrick immediately and he wasn’t going to be as gullible as his men seemed to be around him.

At least Patrick had no intention of running away. Saad had told him about Patrick’s insistence to take a bath and it seemed like that was the case. The room was warm and was lit by the fire and a few candles and it smelled like some flower extract.

Jonathan couldn’t see anyone but he heard laughter behind the divider in the centre of the room. He pulled it out of the way…and froze.

  Patrick was sitting in a big wooden tub filled with scented water. His hair was wet, darker than usual from the water and a few curls had stuck on his forehead. He was laughing, throwing his head back and made Jonathan want to pull him out and…ravish him.

Tyler and Andrew were emptying another bucket of water in the tub when Jonathan saw Andrew catching his eye, startling him and dropping the bucket on the floor, flooding the small space.

“My lord!” he exclaimed

“Lord Toews makes it a habit of barging into rooms unannounced” Patrick said unfazed, dipping a little further into the water. His eyes were mocking him but Jonathan could see the anger behind the shimmer. “I figured you’d be anxious to talk to me but I didn’t expect you this soon.”

Jonathan let his gaze wander “It would give me great pleasure to talk with you now” he said simply.

Tyler coughed “You should wait outside until lord Kane is done with his bath, my lord”

Jonathan laughed “I’m not going anywhere boy. I don’t trust my husband. Who’s to tell me he won’t sneak out of the window the moment I turn my back?”

“You should be ashamed of yourself” Andrew chastised “treating your husband like a common criminal!”

There was a plopping sound and Patrick rose from the tub “Andrew I think that’s enough” he said softly. He stared at Jonathan challengingly “As you wish, my lord. We will talk. Tyler hand me the towel if you please”

He stepped out of the tub, water splashing Jonathan’s boots but he barely even noticed. His focus was on Patrick’s dripping, pale, naked form. There were pink patches on his skin from the scrub, a few cuts and faded bruises Jonathan was certain he had gotten in the training arena. He was… mesmerizing. There wasn’t a better word to describe it. His gaze travelled upward and caught a glimpse of Patrick’s triumphant smile.

Jonathan opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came. He cleared his throat and turned to Andrew and Tyler “Get out”

The two boys looked at each other unsure of what to do. Jonathan grabbed the towel from Tyler’s hands “Get out” he repeated “Now!”

They didn’t dare disobey this time.

When the door closed, Jonathan unfolded the towel and wrapped it around Patrick’s waist. He held him tight and close, leaving no room of doubt as to how aroused he was.

“You went too far” he said hoarsely

“I know” Patrick whispered “but you deserved it.”

“You’re shameless”

Patrick stepped away tightening the towel around him “No, I’m not shameless. You accused me of the same thing the other day. You’re wrong – about that and so much more.”

They looked at each other silently for a few moments. Jonathan had time to think over what his captains and his brother had told him and he knew that Patrick was right.

“You’re angry at me”

“For many reasons” he replied “You threw me in a cell. We’re _married_ , Jonathan, and you threw me in a cell!”

Jonathan held him close “We’re married, Patrick, but you tried to run away from me”

“I told you I wasn’t trying to leave; and certainly not to find Gagner. You just didn’t believe me.”

Jonathan ran his fingertips where the towel and Patrick’s skin met “And now you’re making me suffer for it”

Patrick smirked with satisfaction “Are you suffering?”

Instead of an answer Jonathan pulled him flat against him, grinding their bodies slightly to show evidence of his erection “You know I do”

When they were like that, their bodies reacting to each other, Jonathan didn’t want to think about the war or their different beliefs, neither the betrayal nor the mixed feelings all those emotions created inside him. He cupped Patrick’s face and kissed him biting gently at his lower lip, dipping his tongue into his mouth. The towel dropped. Jonathan roamed his palms to Patrick’s body, now dry but still soft.

“If you want me to stop, tell me now” he said cutting off the kiss but keeping his lips on Patrick’s. “I’m not a saint and I have wanted you from the first moment I saw you” he whispered

Patrick opened his eyes, he wasn’t even sure when he had closed them. They were dark and hazy from want and Jonathan could see there was no trace of anger left.

“I want you to want me” he said passionately taking a step back “You deserve to suffer. You accused me of being shameless, of crawling into Gagner’s bed to get my way. I guess it’s time you found out if I’m that good.”

Jonathan grabbed him and twined his fingers into Patrick’s hair pulling him closer to kiss him again. It wasn’t tender. It was rough and messy. Even the mention of Gagner and the possibility that he might have touched _his_ Patrick, made his blood boil.

He guided them towards the bed and pushed Patrick down. It seemed like an eternity to Jonathan until he had finally rid himself of all his clothing. He was afraid that Patrick would slip away from him once more. He had to make sure he’d stay. He had to leave his mark on him, making him solely and completely his.

He hurriedly went through the cabinet Patrick kept his oils and salves until he found what he was looking for, then climbed onto the bed and covered Patrick’s body with his. He left the vial on his side and caressed Patrick’s arms right down his palms. Patrick shivered and let out a little sigh. Then Jonathan grabbed both of his hands and placed them above Patrick’s head. He gripped them tight with one of his while pulling Patrick’s legs open with his knee.

He fumbled to open the vial and coat his fingers with the substance while trailing biting kisses along Patrick’s neck, his chest and nipples. He flicked his tongue on the bud there a couple of times, making Patrick arch towards him and opening his legs a little more.

Jonathan positioned himself and as his first finger breached Patrick he captured his mouth with his, drowning the pained grunt. Patrick tensed but kissed right back. Kissing distracted Patrick and by the time Jonathan had added a third finger he was pushing himself down to meet Jonathan’s thrusts.

Jonathan pulled his fingers out, which made Patrick hiss. The whole thing was kind of a challenge and not too well coordinated as Jonathan refused to let go of Patrick’s hands that were still above his heard and they were starting to feel numb. He knew that this wasn’t about Patrick’s pleasure; it was about Jonathan staking his claim, owning him in a very superficial and physical way. A way for Jonathan to secure Patrick wouldn’t get away.

Despite the purpose, Jonathan wasn’t as rough and thoughtless as his anger and jealousy might have compelled to be. That’s why when Jonathan finally entered him - a slow, careful penetration and not a shove- Patrick made himself relax and take him in.

“Jonathan” he not so much as said than breathed, his voice hitching and strained.

Jonathan leaned and gave him a quick kiss “I’m sorry” he said “I know it hurts but hold on a bit longer. It’s going to get better I promise”.

Patrick nodded and let himself be distracted by Jonathan’s caresses.

A few thrusts later, when the burning of the stretch had subsided Patrick found himself wrapping his legs around Jonathan’s waist, pushing him deeper and meeting him thrust for thrust. 

Sighs and moans, breaths mingling and bodies colliding was the only thing they were aware of. That and the infinite pleasure they were taking from each other after months of push and pull, bitterness and anger.

Feeling himself getting closer, Jonathan reached between them and took Patrick’s erection in his hand. He didn’t draw it out. He held tight and moved his hand quickly, wanting to feel Patrick’s climax before he reached the peak himself.

Patrick was writhing underneath him, cheeks flushed, lips swollen. He tilted his head back and came with no sound, just a hitch on his breath. Jonathan had never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. He stroked Patrick through it and a few thrust later he let himself go. He came with a grunt and the utter satisfaction that he had thoroughly claimed Patrick, marking him as his inside and out. He lied on top of Patrick, covering him completely, not restraining his weight, wanting him to feel completely enveloped by Jonathan.

As he came down from his high he turned on the side and off of Patrick. He propped himself up, leaning on his elbow supporting his head on his palm. He gathered the courage to look at Patrick.

“Patrick…” he started to say. He wanted to apologize; for how the things had gone down, for his mistakes and his mistrust.

Patrick stared at him silently. He was sitting with his legs tucked underneath him, like a naked sculpture.

“I thought you wanted us to talk” Patrick finally said with a dump smile on his face “I don’t think what we did qualify as such” he said teasingly.

“I forgot!” Jonathan said slyly, catching one of Patrick’s stranded curl and tucking it behind his ear.

“The talk wasn’t urgent” Patrick said rubbing his cheek into Jonathan’s palm like a kitten “ _That_ though was long overdue. I don’t want to spoil the moment. And for once, I won’t”

Jonathan looked at him. He wanted to tell him so many things but for the first time he felt unsure. He hadn’t felt anything close to that his whole life. He realised that without Patrick, he was a half man. That’s how they fitted, like two pieces that together made a perfect picture. With all their differences and similarities they complemented each other; they were like two sides of the same coin.

“I was rough…” he started saying, trying to convey his hurt and regret for how he had handled things between them. It was supposed to be a union and instead Jonathan had made it a claim; a conquest that was focused on the task and not the target. He didn’t want to be Patrick’s conqueror and lead the way; he wanted for them to be equals and walk side by side.

“You were angry but you didn’t hurt me”

He had been angry. When he remembered that he was stunned like it had been something that had happened ages ago. Now he felt satisfied, almost whole. Almost… He tried to understand what it was that he was missing. He once had thought that if he had Patrick in his bed he would have everything he wished for. He now knew he was fooling himself; without Patrick’s trust and love he had nothing.

“You were angry at me too. Are you still?”

Patrick hesitated “I don’t know” he admitted “I don’t know how I feel. You didn’t take something I wasn’t willing to give. So on that front no, I’m not angry.”

Jonathan reached out and pulled him closer. He lied down and pressed Patrick on him. Patrick rested his head on Jonathan’s chest listening at his heartbeat. “Some things we can’t change. The difference in our beliefs…” he felt Patrick tense but he stubbornly continued “I can only promise you one thing, Patrick. I will never ask you to break your oath to the King. I can’t ask you that without asking you to change who you are, to be someone else, someone other than the man I admire. I understand that now”

Patrick pressed his lips on his neck “Thank you” he whispered and curled himself around Jonathan. A heart beat later he said “You asked me how I feel; I feel…curious” he let his hand roam on Jonathan’s chest, heading downwards “about this” he lowered his hand teasingly “and this” he deliberately skipped Jonathan’s cock and petted his thigh instead “also this…” he said not being able to hide the giggle in his voice. He felt Jonathan chest rumble and the shiver that run through him beneath his fingertips.

“Curiosity is a dangerous thing” he said in a husky voice.

Patrick chuckled “I’m feeling adventurous” he retorted “Maybe _I_ ’ll get to restrain you this time and have my way with you.”

“Please do so” Jonathan replied breathlessly and caught the mischievous sparkle that lit on Patrick’s eyes.

 

*

 

When Patrick woke up it was so dark it made him glance around confused. He tried to move; the soreness made him groan. It also reminded him what had happened. He stretched his arms lazily and smiled contently, closing his eyes once more basking at the feeling. When he opened them again he found Jonathan looking at him softly.

“You all right, love?” Jonathan mumbled sleepily

_love_

Patrick’s heart tightened. It was just a tender expression. Though Jonathan could be really affectionate and attentive as Patrick had found out, it was so out of character for him to say it, let alone mean it. Patrick wished he did.

“I’m fine” he replied and then with a hint of surprise “I’m hungry”.

Jonathan chuckled. “Let’s eat then”

Patrick stretched his hand and held Jonathan by the arm “I don’t want to get up!” he said pouting.

“We don’t have to” Jonathan said clearly amused “We’ll order someone to bring food up here”

Patrick looked between them, assessing their current state “Sure, I don’t see why we being naked would matter. I bet the servants will appreciate the sight” he jabbed. If he was honest with himself, he loved coaxing a jealous reaction out of Jonathan. He kind of loved the possessiveness as well.

Jonathan snarled “That is not funny, Patrick”

“Why?” he asked innocently “Won’t it help spread the news faster? I thought you’d like everyone to know…”

Patrick didn’t get the chance to finish because Jonathan tackled him and shut him up with a closed mouth kiss; just a firm press of lips on lips.

Jonathan felt the grin on Patrick’s face more than saw it. “You’re making fun of me” he accused.

Patrick giggled “Just a little.”

“I don’t like to share. Some things are private, Patrick” he said seriously. He paused for a moment, then quirked his lips scraggly and added “I don’t think an announcement is necessary anyway. If your gossipy squire hasn’t open his mouth yet I bet your moans had already given us away”

Patrick slapped him arm and turned his back playing hurt.

“Patrick…” Jonathan said tentatively

Patrick remained silent

Jonathan hesitantly stretched his hand and petted his hair. Patrick faked a flinch. Jonathan tried again, leaning closer “Please…?”

Patrick peeked up “You’re mean” he accused

“I’m sorry” Jonathan breathed out and the genuine hurt on his face made Patrick feel guilty for messing with him.

Patrick turned around and snuggled close to Jonathan, who immediately wrapped him with his arms. “Make it up to me” Patrick singsonged, cluing Jonathan in on what was going on.

“You’re horrible” Jonathan accused but it didn’t have much bite to it.

“You’re mean and I’m horrible, we’re a unique match, my lord” Patrick teased.

Their eyes met and they held the gaze silently. “We are” Jonathan finally whispered before capturing Patrick’s mouth with his own.

 

*

 

They spent a week almost in utter domestic bliss; to Patrick’s surprise Jonathan was exceptional with the girls and they absolutely adored him.

Then, two things happened.

General Hossa called Jonathan West where the Parliamentarians’ army was readying to battle the King’s forces.

 And King Sharp sent for his daughter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shelby deserves a medal for putting up with my freaking out! She did not sign up for that when she offered to beta this for me but she got it anyway!  
> I apologize for the poorly written, non-explicit sex. I couldn't write smut to save my life.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end... I hope you enjoyed the story & the ending is satisfying!   
> Thank you all for your lovely comments, support and encouragement; it meant a lot.

Jonathan was buried in scrolls, requests for supplies, horses, armour, everything a military unit could need. He was leaving in the morning to join the rest of the Parliamentarian army. He didn’t want to go. It was too soon. He had just found happiness.

The previous night after they had made love he had held Patrick close and had promised him one thing ‘ _I will come back to you_ ’ he had whispered.

Patrick had shushed him with kisses, attempting to hide his tears. It was difficult for both of them. Jonathan would be fighting for what he believed in but against what Patrick stood for. They hadn’t talk about it, no mention of the treasure either that one week of bliss. They feared it would break their fragile happiness as its shadow was still hanging between them.

Jonathan stood up from his desk and reached the window. The yard was filled with carriages to carry their supplies. His men were running up and down the castle to see to the preparations, but in a corner something so unusual was happening that caught his attention. Andrew and Brandon were fighting.

Jonathan arched his brows. Those two barely fought, just an argument once in a while which usually ended with Brandon stating ‘ _anything for you_ ’ and giving in on Andrew’s requests. As Jonathan was watching, Brandon yelled something at Andrew and turned his back. Andrew shouted right back, punched the wall and left to the opposite direction. A moment later there was a knock on Jonathan’s door and Brandon came in without waiting for a reply.

He was pale and out of breath. Jonathan gestured him to sit but he shook his head. “No, I’d rather stand” he said curtly.

Jonathan nodded and waited.

Brandon took a deep breath “Patrick took the King’s treasure and he’s on his way to deliver it to the King” he said “I just found out the truth from Andrew. He was afraid that Patrick might run into trouble and couldn’t keep the secret from me any longer”. He clamped his fists “I told him I’d come tell you right away and begged me not to.” His voice was now trembling “I’m sorry, Jonathan. I feel sorry for both of us.”

Jonathan felt his heart tighten and freeze. He had, vainly, hoped that Patrick had finally trusted him enough to talk to him about the treasure. Wasn’t it just last night that he felt so close to him? that had loved him so completely and absolutely? Yet, even then he knew they were playing a pretend game, like there was no great secret standing between them. He knew, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“And not only that” Brandon continued hurriedly “The King’s treasure…it’s a child, Jonathan. Princess Madelyn!”

This time the blow left him breathless. Patrick thought him less of a noble man to trust him with the life of a child! He had hidden the truth because he believed Jonathan would use a _child_ to accomplish his purpose or the Parliamentarians’ bourn. He looked at Brandon without seeing him. He felt like he had been punched in the gut, he felt sick.

Brandon was pulling his sleeve trying to get his attention, bring him back to reality “We need to follow him. It was reckless of him to leave alone.”

Jonathan didn’t answer. He was so angry and hurt, he felt so betrayed he couldn’t find a way to explain it to Brandon.

“Jonathan!” Brandon was starting to lose his patience “Do you hear me? Patrick might be in danger and the princess…”

He stopped abruptly as the door opened and Brent rushed in.

“Gagner’s forces were seen at the end of the forest by the river, Jonathan” he said breathlessly “Gagner himself was seen there as well”

“Patrick is travelling through the forest!” Brandon informed him “Will you finally do something?”

Jonathan ran to the door. He was wholeheartedly hoping it wasn’t too late.

 

*

 

The route through the forest to the point the King’s messenger had appointed was endless and tiring, and if Patrick wanted to be honest with himself, a bit scary as well.

 Patrick was trying to rush through, holding Madelyn firmly and close. Ida had left earlier so as not to raise suspicions. They went on foot; trying to take the horses would have alarmed the guards. Instead, Patrick had waited until Jonathan’s soldiers were busy with the preparations and had sneaked out the moment a carriage with supplies had blocked the gate from sight. No one had noticed them.

Madelyn was getting tired and was dragging her feet. “We’re almost there, sweetheart” Patrick encouraged pointing ahead “You see that cabin over there? That’s where the soldiers are waiting to take you to your father.”

There was nothing but silence as they approached the cabin. Patrick quickened his pace, holding Madelyn’s hand. The room was filled with darkness and Madelyn squeezed Patrick’s hand and Patrick understood the little girl was scared.

There was no one there and something was definitely off. Patrick could sense it. Madelyn screamed and clung to his side. Patrick caught glimpse of a shadow in a corner. He wouldn’t be able to understand what it was if he didn’t see the emblem on the sleeve.

The King’s messenger; next to him, almost like in a peaceful sleep, laid Ida.

They were both dead.

Patrick didn’t even have time to process the sight, let alone the meaning behind it.

Madelyn started crying and stepped back towards the door. Her eyes were wide and her face pale.

“Calm, child” Gagner said, appearing from behind them, hugging the child. “You’re safe now. I will get you to your father.”

Patrick froze. Over the child’s head Gagner was looking at him triumphantly.

Rage and hate flared inside Patrick, fear and bitterness along with them. He had managed to keep the child safe for so long, only to have everything go to Hell at the last moment. The truth hit him like a punch. There was not even a moment she was in danger from Jonathan. He would have never hurt a child. Gagner, on the other hand, had no such moral qualms.

“Nice seeing you again, Patrick. I was hoping you’d be the one to escort the child. I wanted to see you…one last time.”

“You won’t take her” he said gritting his teeth “I won’t let you.”

Gagner’s smile widened. “It’s not up to you.”

Patrick was shaking “You’re a traitor and a murderer. You did this” he said gesturing towards the cabin.

Gagner shrugged “There was no other way.”

Madelyn whimpered and Patrick lowered his tone so as not to scare her even further “You’ll use the princess for your own agenda” he said carefully “I know it”

“Of course. I have a plan, but it costs too much. She…” he said pointing at Madelyn “is the guarantee I need to walk away a free man.”

“I have a gun. Let her go, Gagner.”

He laughed “If you have a gun, I suggest you point it at yourself. You can’t stop me. She is my captive.”

“How did you know?” Patrick asked. Distracting him with chatter might be the only chance Patrick had; stalling, in case help would come. “How did you know to find us here?”

Gagner looked at him contemptuously “That fool, Father Way, spilled everything. I knew where they left the messages he picked up for you. I found one of the King’s messengers and made him talk. It was easy. I read them all first, before the priest got them to you. I have been one step ahead the whole time. I knew when they were coming to take her.”

“I understand” Patrick said “So, you knew about the treasure from the very beginning.”

Gagner looked at the child “I learned that a royal task force had left a treasure to your castle just before I arrived, but like all the others I thought they were talking about gold” he laughed “I went to your father and tried to force him to tell me where it was. He accused me of treason and called me a scamp.”

“My father was always very perceptive” Patrick stated proudly “You had taken an oath to serve and obey the King.”

Gagner shrugged once again “I serve no one but myself. This here is even better than any treasure” he said shaking Madelyn fiercely “His majesty will pay a fortune, and if not him, then Hossa for sure”

Patrick shot him a glare of pure surprise and disgust “You would sell her to the King’s enemies?”

“If I have to. Do you want to kill me for my treason, my lord? You, who’s married to a Parliamentarian?”

 “That’s different!” he replied with anger “I never sold out my beliefs”

“No, you just betrayed your husband so you wouldn’t break your promise to the King. How do you feel about that, Lord _Toews_?” he mockingly used Jonathan’s name “How does it feel to be married to an enemy?”

“My husband is a better man than you’ll ever be, Gagner. King’s enemy or not. I wish I had realised that sooner.”

“Anyway” he said anxiously “It’s time for us to leave”. He looked at Patrick and smirked “I have a bullet left” he added “and I’m delighted I get to use it on you.”

On the right, through the clump, a noise was heard – a beep from bridle. Gagner froze and stretched his ears like an animal sniffing the danger.

“Soldiers” Patrick whispered

“Must be my men” Gagner said, but for the first time he seemed scared.

“Jonathan!” Patrick screamed from the top of his lungs, praying that it was him indeed.

He saw Gagner veer sharply and knew he had caught him off guard. There was no way he could imagine Patrick bluffing and endangering either Madelyn’s or Jonathan’s lives.

For a few moments there was no sound. Patrick felt the despair overwhelm him.

Then everything happened with lightning speed.

Jonathan stepped out from the glade behind Patrick, followed by a small task force. He wasn’t wearing his armour and Patrick realised he had rushed as soon as he was informed about his fleeing. That meant that he was vulnerable though.

Gagner raised his gun to shoot. Patrick ran towards him, pulling Madelyn from his loosened hand, pushing her towards Jonathan. For a few crucial moments he shielded both the princess and Jonathan with his body. “Take her” he shouted “I trust you with her life!”

Gagner fired and for a moment Patrick didn’t feel anything; nothing but relief, because he had seen Jonathan’s expression and knew he wouldn’t betray him. Madelyn was safe.

Then the pain ran through him, leaving him breathless, and made his knees bend. By the time he hit the ground, he had stopped feeling altogether.

 

*

 

When he opened his eyes the room was dark and he couldn’t see a thing. He knew something terrible had happened and for a moment despair and loneliness filled him, just like when he had woken up after the fire and his father’s death.

“Jonathan?” he mumbled, lips barely moving.

“Thank God!” someone said from beside him “He’s awake!”

But when Patrick turned his head, he saw nothing but shadows. The effort exhausted him and he sank back into lethargy.

 

*

 

Next time Patrick stirred, a fire was burning and Tyler was sitting beside him.

Seeing him wake, he jumped up and screamed in delight “Patrick!”

Patrick’s mouth was dry and had difficult in speaking. He coughed “Tyler…how are you?”

“I’m fine, Patrick. So happy to hear you speak again! We feared you wouldn’t wake up! Here, have some water…”

Patrick tried to sit up but he was so weak he slumped back down again. “I’m hungry” he muttered.

“I’ll go bring you something”

“Wait” Patrick grabbed his arm “Is the princess safe? Is she back home? How many hours have I been asleep? Did Jonathan come back yet?” he rumbled.

“Hours?” Tyler asked “Weeks, Patrick. You haven’t been conscious in nearly two months!”

“Months?” Patrick asked stunned “Oh, God! The girls! They must have been terrified!”

“The girls are fine” Tyler assured.

That made Patrick relax a little “And Jonathan…where is he? He’s not…”

“He’s not dead Patrick. _Gagner_ is. Lord Toews had to leave though; he had to return to battle.” Tyler informed him “The King was defeated. His army was destroyed and he had to leave the country. He couldn’t fight any longer.”

Patrick frowned. His hazy mind was struggling to absorb what Tyler was saying. He vaguely remembered Jonathan getting orders to leave the day Patrick had gone to send Madelyn off.

“Princess Madelyn…” he started to say and felt relieved as Tyler nodded

“She’s safe and sound. Lord Toews sent her back to the King before the battle.”

“Thank God!” Patrick whispered “But Jonathan…is he all right?”

“He is in good health” Tyler answered.

“Did he send a message?” he asked hopefully

“I’m sorry, Patrick” Tyler said softly “There was no message from him. Andrew sent news that he’s alive and well, Brandon as well. They are all heading to Count Toews’ castle.”

Patrick felt his heart break “Yet nothing from Jonathan”

“He was very angry, Pat. About the princess…”

Patrick nodded “I understand” he said, voice so small and tired.

“He stayed by your side for a whole week” Tyler rushed to inform him “Day and night, he didn’t drink or eat, just stayed here watching you. The only times he spoke was when the girls came to visit.” Tyler paused as if he was relieving the memory “You should have seen him when they asked him to kiss you better, like you do with their _boo-boos_. He was devastated that he couldn’t do that for them, or you. He loves you, Pat, but…”

Patrick didn’t even try to hide his tears “but he can’t forgive my betrayal. I didn’t trust him with my secret and in the end it almost cost all of our lives.”

He turned his head and buried his face in the pillow, his tears turning to sobs. Tyler sat on his side and petted his head in an attempt to comfort him.

“I made a reckless choice” he said when his sobs died down “I didn’t want to make him choose between his duty and his humanity. If he knew the truth, what choice would he have but give the child to his superiors? If not, they would have abjured him- even trial him for treason. So, I decided to rid him of that dilemma.”

“You did the right thing” Tyler stated “You saved his life, the princess’ as well. One day, he’ll understand that.”

Patrick laughed bitterly “In the end, he was forced to choose anyway; and he chose to save the child’s life.”

“He’s a good man, Patrick”

“I know. And I’ve lost him. I lost him because I didn’t have enough faith in him.”

*

 

The castle seemed familiar and imperceptibly different at once to Jonathan as he entered the gates. The manor house seemed timeless but so much had happened since the last time he’d been there. He had quarrelled with this father and had gone to war. He was now returning older and more mature. He had seen enough blood for a lifetime and had done things he would rather forget. He had lived the fire of the battle and the coldness of a lost love. He didn’t know if he was hiding or searching for advice. He just knew he had to find himself and his childhood home seemed like the best place to do so.

He avoided staying with his captains or Brandon and Andrew. He was truly delighted that they were all alive and well, he was genuinely happy that they were together, but two couples basking in their love bliss was not something Jonathan could handle at that point.

Instead, he went straight to his father. He knocked on the door and entered before his father had a chance to answer.

They looked silently at each other for a while. Then Jonathan said “Father…”

Count Toews frowned “You look sick. What’s wrong?”

Jonathan laughed “It’s good to see you too, father. Are you well?”

“I can’t complain” the Count said “I have my health and my sons are alive” his face darkened “Was it bad?”

“Hell” Jonathan answered in one word.

The Count gestured Jonathan to sit and he did so as well. “So, what are you doing here? I thought you’d have returned to your house; that’s where a man needs to be after the war mayhem.”

He saw Jonathan’s expression change and he stopped.

“They’ve ordered me to go to the Capital. There’s so much work there to be done. I will leave right away” Jonathan answered and made a small pause “It’s unlikely I’d see the Kane castle any time soon”

Count Toews scrunched his face “The capital? Are you out of your mind? Don’t you lie to me; this has nothing to do with work – it has to do with your husband. And the King’s treasure.”

Jonathan shrugged. When he was called into battle he had felt relieved. He wanted to escape from Patrick and he couldn’t. His face kept him company in the midst of battle, steady and brave, motivating him to go on. Jonathan was trying to wipe him out of his memory, ignore the images, but Patrick kept coming to his dreams, haunting him and Jonathan woke up desperate and alone. Anger had become his closest companion and when he received a letter from the castle informing him that Patrick had regained consciousness he had just thrown it into the fire.

He was now looking at his father with alleged indifference, but he felt his rage flare up inside him again “My husband didn’t trust me with the life of a helpless child. No man would want to return to such a spouse.”

“Did you just become such a fool or were you born that way?” the Count growled “You’re married to the most loyal, brave, admirable man of the whole kingdom and yet you choose to throw everything away! You want your husband’s trust? And what else did he do in those woods but trust you when he gave you to protect the child? Who did he thought more capable of saving the princess and return her to her father than you?”

Jonathan was outraged. He wasn’t a child to tolerate his father chastising him. And even though there was a small voice inside him telling him his father was right, his anger didn’t allow him to agree.

“He could have told me sooner” he retorted “He should have told me that the princess was hiding in the castle. Not try to help her escape behind my back.”

“Nonsense” the count spat “Patrick was making good on his promise to the King and his dying father!”

“Even so, he still deceived me” Jonathan stubbornly insisted.

“Damn your stubbornness!” the count cursed “Answer me this and answer me truthfully. If Patrick had come, before or after your wedding, and told you that princess Madelyn was hiding in the castle, what would you have done? Would you have sent the child back to the King?”

Jonathan didn’t answer right away. He knew with no hesitation that he would never use a child for personal gain, but disobey direct orders was another matter entirely. His superiors would have wanted to use her as a negotiation pawn against her father. That was certain. They had been furious when Jonathan informed them he had sent the child back on his own initiative.

The Count was watching him, waiting “Well?”

“I would have sent her back to the King” Jonathan finally answered.

“I believe you would too” he admitted “But you hesitated before you answered. Patrick didn’t have the luxury to risk a wrong choice, not when a child’s life and future was at stake. So he rid you of that burden.”

No one talked for a while. “At least admit that he made the most difficult decision of his life. Right or not, he had the courage to do so” the count tried again.

Jonathan still didn’t answer. He felt the angry knot inside him loosen and for a moment he got scared, because he knew that if he let his rage die the pain would get worse. He also knew that his father wouldn’t let him off that easily.

“How do you think Patrick would have felt if he had let the decision up to you and you had chosen to send the princess to Hossa?” he asked relentlessly.

Jonathan turned his gaze to the floor “I suppose, he would have never forgiven me” he answered.

“You’re wrong” the count said “He would have forgiven you, because he loves you. But you would have broken his heart. I had enough of your nonsense! You have a husband with more courage than all your soldiers combined. He loves you and he saved your life! And you sit here moping, complaining about his lack of trust!” he snorted “Go to the castle! And when you make up with your husband bring him here so I can congratulate him on his bravery and thank him for saving both of my sons’ lives.”

He turned and gave Jonathan a judging look “Does he even know you’re here?”

“I think Andrew had sent a messenger” he answered.

“A messenger” his father scowled “By God you’re testing my patience! Get up and go home already!”

“Very well, father” Jonathan said resigned “I will go talk to him.”

“Talk to him?” the count asked with disgust “go tell him you love him you fool! Then bring my grandchildren here! You promised me three granddaughters who I have yet to meet!”

Jonathan laughed “You’re going to love them. They are adorable”

They stared at each other for a moment, hostility and differences all forgotten. Jonathan thought his father was about to hug him but the count coughed, blinked to not let his tears fall and ordered “You’re having dinner with us. You are not going to travel on an empty stomach.”

He patted Jonathan on the back and Jonathan realised that that was as close to an emotional reaction as he could get. And it was enough for him.

 

*

 

Patrick was sitting in the gardens. Weirdly, he found some comfort there, even if the memories caused him heartache. He couldn’t escape them even if he tried, so he let himself drown in the sorrow; it was the only thing he had left to link him to Jonathan.

He was gaining his strength back but his heart couldn’t mend as fast. He had accepted the fact that he may never recover; he was just waiting for the day that Jonathan’s absence would be somewhat bearable.

At least, now that Gagner was dead and his men had been captured, peace had returned to the castle and the surrounding areas. Jonathan’s men took great care of the people and helped the villagers rebuilt their houses. Andrew had remained in the Toews’ castle preparing his wedding with Brandon. Patrick missed them but he was glad they kept away; he could restrain himself from asking about Jonathan that way.

Patrick heard leaves rustling and footsteps approaching. It was probably Tyler, he thought. Even if he had left the castle to permanently stay with Brown, preparing their wedding as well, he still refused to leave Patrick’s service. He had been really protective of Patrick ever since the shooting. Overbearingly so at times, but Patrick was glad he still had someone on his side.

Patrick snapped his head up when the footsteps halted and gasped in surprise. “Jonathan” he exclaimed, jumping off his seat.

He ran towards him, but after a few steps he stopped. Jonathan wasn’t smiling. He had a serious expression on his face. He was dusty from the journey and limped. He had a cut on his upper lip that hadn’t healed yet.

Patrick’s heart froze. In his happiness to see him he hadn’t considered hiding his feelings, but he was now realising that Jonathan didn’t share his joy. And why would he? The last time they talked, in Gagner’s presence, Patrick had realised the magnitude of his betrayal. He hadn’t had the chance to explain, to beg him to understand, if not forgive him. Then his injury had prevented him for a second time and the time they had spent apart had surely hardened Jonathan’s heart.

“How are you, my lord?” Jonathan asked so formal, cold; no warmth in his eyes for Patrick.

Patrick swallowed the lump on his throat; so this was how everything was going to end, he thought, not with censures just bleakness. They would be trapped in a loveless marriage and drift further apart with time. Maybe they would end up hating each other in the end…

“I’m feeling much better, thank you, my lord” his voice shaking “And you? I’ve heard you were injured” Patrick realised he had reached his hand to touch Jonathan’s face and retracted.

Jonathan shook his head casually “Just a scratch. I’m sorry if the reports exaggerated and caused you unnecessary worry.”

He wasn’t just worried. _I died a little bit inside every time I thought I’d lost you_ , Patrick didn’t say.

The silence stretched, as if they had run out of thing to say, the distance between them ever-growing.

“If you’ll excuse me” Jonathan finally said politely “I had come a long way and I need to wash the dust off of me.”

He turned his back. Patrick hesitated. One moment more and it would be too late…

“Jonathan! Wait!”

Jonathan stopped and half-turned towards him but he didn’t move from his spot. The gap between them seemed unbridgeable and it was up to Patrick to make it right, he was the one who had betrayed Jonathan after all.

“I want to talk” he said hurriedly “Please, Jonathan.”

“Can’t it wait, Patrick? I have been on the road for days and I’m exhausted…”

“No! It can’t wait” at least a flare of hope flickered in him as Jonathan had called his name; maybe there was still a chance “Please, listen to me first and then, if you want, go and never come back.”

Jonathan crossed his arms; his expression genteel but nothing more.

Patrick was terrified. He cleared his throat and said with a small voice “The girls loved their presents, thank you” he said, and he couldn’t believe that that was the first thing it left his mouth.

“It was nothing” Jonathan waved his hand dismissively “Is that what this is all about? Because I’ve already assured you that I would always take care of them.”

Patrick shook his head; he had never doubted Jonathan would do other than he had promised “No…I… Princess Madelyn… I’ve heard you sent her back to the King…”

“Indeed”

“Thank you” he whispered, hating his weakness that made him tear up “I hope it didn’t cause you much trouble with your superiors”

He smiled grimly “I’ll survive”

He still didn’t move. Patrick tried to find the right words, sensing he was ready to leave again. He realised he had to put his pride aside and tell him the truth.

“Jonathan… I want you to know that the reason I refused to marry you at the beginning was because I always knew a time would come that I would have to betray you. I knew that when the King would call for me, I would have to do my duty deceiving you in the process. And I thought I couldn’t do it if I was your husband.”

“I know” Jonathan said calmly “I knew it from the start. That didn’t stop you when the time came to betray me” he sighed “You married me anyway and you kept that secret from me. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t think me dependable, worthy of your trust, Patrick. What did you think?” his voice was harsh now “that I’d hold a child capture? That I would use her the way Gagner did, to ransom her to the King? What kind of monster did you take me for to keep her presence secret from me?”

Patrick felt his tears burn his throat. He only had one chance and he was feeling inadequate “I’m so sorry” he muttered “It’s true; I didn’t trust you in the beginning. We were at rival camps. You were my enemy. How could I have told you the truth?”

“Later, though? When we got married…I thought you had started trusting me” Jonathan’s voice was full of anger and agony “I thought, the fool, that you had started loving me.”

“I loved you” _I love you_ “I didn’t tell you so you wouldn’t be forced to make a difficult decision. I never once thought you’d held her hostage. I never thought you’d ransom her. You’re too noble to do something like that. What I couldn’t get out of my head was the thought you’d feel obligated to turn her over to your superiors. And that would have changed the course of the war. The King would have to capitulate with humiliating conditions and a child would become a pawn on your political affairs…” Patrick stopped talking. It was pointless. Jonathan seemed unmoved.

“Everything comes down to trust” he said “Our beliefs tear us apart. They did from the very beginning. And you only trusted me when you had to choose between Gagner and me” his voice hardened “I guess I have to be pleased for that small favour.”

Something snapped inside Patrick; he blinked “You don’t have to make it harder than it already is” he said angrily “It might have taken me a while, but I did trust you in the end. I turned to you without hesitation in my time of need; and you didn’t break that trust. Even before that, I trusted you with the lives of my sisters. I trusted you enough to be certain you’ll do the best for them. And that was all I ever wanted; not being afraid for their future. You might think that what we have, this bond between us, is insignificant, but I will always remember everything you did for us and be forever grateful. As I will never forget the fact that you tried to console the girls and stayed by my side every day, as Tyler told me, and you didn’t leave me once. So, for me, there _is_ something between us, even if it’s too late for us to fix it.”

He was breathless and hurt and about to lose his patience and snap at Jonathan for his silence, when he saw something in his gaze change, soften. For an instance, he was the Jonathan Patrick remembered, _his_ Jonathan.

“My father says that I married the most loyal, brave, admirable man of the whole kingdom” he said “but I think he’s a nag!”

He went to Patrick and held his hand. Patrick relaxed.

“I’m just fighting for what I believe” he whispered

“You believe in us?” Jonathan questioned, squeezing his hand lightly.

“I do. Do you?”

“I believe that we’ll never be free from each other, Patrick. You belong to me, your life is mine.”

“Well, I saved yours” Patrick retorted “I took Gagner’s bullet for you”

“Indeed…” he smiled softly

“So it belongs to me. We’re even.”

Jonathan chuckled at Patrick’s score keeping. He wrapped him around his arms so unexpectedly that Patrick had no time to react. He kissed his forgiveness into Patrick’s mouth, in a kiss that left both of them breathless.

“You almost died, Patrick” he whispered right on his lips “You need to be better”

Patrick frowned “I saved your life and all you have to say is ‘be better’?”

Jonathan ran his fingers through Patrick’s hair “I don’t ever want to lose you. I’m keeping you and I don’t ever want to let you go.”

Patrick buried his fists on Jonathan’s shirt and held tight “Don’t ever leave” he said “I could never handle that” he buried his face on Jonathan’s chest “Forgive me”

“Shhh… it’s all right” Jonathan soothed “I understand; I always did even when I was furious.”

“I will always support the King” Patrick informed “It’s only fair to be honest with you. Whatever happens I won’t turn against him. But I want my future to be with you.”

“The war is not over, Patrick, just the battle. The King’s in hiding. I hope a day will come where we can be sure the peace is permanent and there won’t be any more bloodshed.”

“Some people want him dead.”

“I’m not one of them. I was fighting against the monarchy Patrick not Sharp himself. I want a safe home for us and the girls; I want our people to have a future. It may not always be easy or peaceful but I want all of that with you.”

“Do you think we can make it, Jonathan?”

“As long as there’s trust, then yes. We’re in this together, Patrick. United, we can make everything happen.”

“I trust you…And I love you.” Patrick sealed his statement with a kiss.

“I love you, too” Jonathan muttered. He was a man of actions, not words but he understood that Patrick needed to hear it from time to time. Though, if he was honest with himself, it felt great to be able to voice it freely. “It was the reason why you were able to hurt me” he added reluctantly.

Patrick raised his fingers to Jonathan’s lips shushing him “Don’t…please… I’ll never forgive myself…”

It was Jonathan’s turn to stop him, kissing him lightly “We both have a lot to forgive, to ourselves and each other but we’ll make it through.”

He took Patrick’s hand and walked him towards the house “Let’s go home”

Patrick pouted “But it’s so nice outside and it’s too early”

“We’re going to bed” he said and caught the light that flickered slyly in Patrick’s eyes.

“We have to wake up early tomorrow” he said trying to keep a straight face while Patrick’s fell.

“Why?” Patrick whined disappointed.

“Training starts at dawn” Jonathan deadpanned.

“Training?” Patrick asked hopeful “in the arena? With a sword?” excitement pouring out of him.

“No, with a stick” Jonathan mocked.

Patrick swat Jonathan’s arm but he was beaming, like Jonathan had given him the world.

Jonathan couldn’t help but grin. He vowed silently to always do his best to make Patrick smile that way.

Patrick tugged at his shirt “Come on! It’s getting late!” he said faking a yawn “I’m tired” and preceded, dragging Jonathan along with him.

Jonathan caught up with him and they walked in the castle together, content, fingers entwined.

 

 

Dawn would bring a new begging in the Toews-Kane household. One they would build side by side. For, together, they could make the impossible happen.

 

*

 

 

THE END


End file.
